Citalopram diary...week one

[justagirl_]

So, I'm on day three of taking citalopram...the past 2 days have been okay and I've had a few side effects..I've kept a diary over the past few days..
Day one of Citalopram.
Took the tablet around 10.30am, and within an hour started to feel jittery. Now I'm not sure if this is because I was nervous/anxious about taking the first one or whether it was a side effect. I'm thinking its a side effect because I felt restless all day after that. And kept finding myself unable to sit still, and wandering around because I couldn't stand still!
I tried to keep myself busy at work, and found I've had a dry mouth all day, which I later found out is a side effect of the Citalopram. Also have had a headache like a tight band around my head since this morning, similar to a tension headache but not quite.
I still feel kinda weird...but a different weird to the anxiety.
I'm going to stick this out and see if it works in the end. Fingers crossed.





Day two...
Okay, woke up feeling slightly odd this morning, can't really describe it...just odd.
Went for my driving lesson cause I was feeling okay, apart from the dry mouth..lol. Had a really good hour and 15 mins, and then all of a sudden I went really dizzy, couldnt concentrate or focus at all and had to end the lesson early to come home.
I mean, I'm quite happy that I lasted an hour and 15 mins! So not too disheartened, just kinda frustrated.
I've taken my 2nd dose now, and I'm feeling pretty odd...like, restless again. Hard to describe. Dry mouth, can't concentrate..the usual. Head feels a bit funny like the tension headache again but just not quite...felt really down all day, lonely with my own thoughts.


Day three...
so its 1.30am, i have just woken up in an absolute panic, bladder feeling like its about to burst. have been asleep since about 11-11.15 i would say. When i woke up i started freaking out, really panicking, disoriented....and now i've logged onto the anxiety chat room to get a bit of sanity as i have noone with me,

worrying about tomorrow already as i know everyone is going to be at work tomorrow afternoon and i'm going to be on my own. Got to keep strong...

i will beat this anxiety and i will be my old self again, this is just the rough side effects of Citalopram taking its toll...
list of side effects I've had so far

• Headache
• Dry Mouth
• Restlessness
• Increased anxiety
• Insomnia
• Stomach Ache/Nausea
• Dizziness/Feeling Faint

Today has been quite unbearable, anxiety has gone through the roof and have had no appetite at all..
fingers crossed I can get through this.
Only on day 3 so got a long way to go!
After 8 years of anxiety/panic/depression, I'm hoping this will do the trick!

Justagirl_

[Raindog]

All sounds normal from my experience, my anxiety increased quite a bit during the first week so just find ways to get through it and you'll be another day closer to that first good day. I said it wasn't easy but it's worth it. Not being able to see that light at the end of the tunnel is one of the worst parts about this initial period where it all seems to go pear shaped and swirly, if you could pencil in a date on the calendar when you'd have your first good day without the desperate feelings it would make it easier to bear but that's an unknown right now until you get there.

You've waited this long to reach the other side, another few days isn't such a big deal after all that. Like I told Saltydawg in his post, you're mind is a warzone and the Citralopram is waging war with the anxiety, and the anxiety is trying every trick in the book to keep a hold of you.

Keep posting and when you get the first good day you can read back over this and see how far you've come.

Better days.

[justagirl_]

It's reassuring to know that other people have been through the same thing.
This evening has been slightly better, my housemate encouraged me to go out for tea and we sat outside in the sun for a bit, which has made me feel a tiny bit better. I could still feel the anxiety there and it was quite high but for times, I managed to totally forget about it and enjoy being with my friends.
And Raindog, you are so right, it is so hard when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel..I know I've got a way to go, but as you say it will be worth it. I just need to stick it out.
I'm hoping for a better nights sleep than last night...we'll see.

[Raindog]

I remember during my first week on the Cit, I met a friend of mine and we sat outside a pub on a sunny day and just chatted about stuff, but at the time it was only my 2nd day on the meds and my anxiety was quite strong that day so I found it difficult to relax or think about a lot apart from the racing thoughts brought on by the anxiety, but I enjoyed the idle chat we had for an hour or two that afternoon and it helped me get through a tough day that would have been tougher if I were on my own.

You're another day closer to getting through this tough time, so keep going, we're always here. You can hop into the chat room that's on the site once you've been on the site for more than 5 days and talk to any of us that are in there if you feel the need.

[justagirl_]

Day 4, I woke up feeling very much hungover without the alcohol...but had slept okay the night before...
I pretty much spent all day in my room, feeling sorry for myself..I didn't have much of an appetite in the morning but during the afternoon I went to sit with my housemate and found the company helped me a lot. I then felt hungry so took full advantage and had something to eat!

I felt a lot happier in the evening and watched some comedy on tv and actually laughed at it which made me feel better.

I tried to have an early night but unfortunately the insomnia took over and I ended up having about 3 hours the whole night..waking up in a panic/fluster/dizzy...not much fun.

Day 5..
I woke up with everything feeling strangely unfamiliar and a little bit dazed...decided to get up and get dressed today as I hadn't for the past two..
My housemate drove us to town and I went in Morrisons, similar to before, everything was strangely foreign..and I didn't like it.
We came back to the house and sat in the sun all afternoon and even had a bit of a water fight, feeling a tiny bit better this afternoon.

Going from 10mg to 20mg on Monday, did anyone find the change/upping gave them new side effects? I'm kinda worried.

Hoping for a better nights sleep tonight too!

[susan64]

Hi, just letting you know my experience on starting cit was the same, as I was on the sick when I took my tablet in the morning after about an hour I would be sooo on edge but found watching my friends boxset helped a great deal. It was like a total escape from reality, after quite a few episodes I would almost forget how ill I felt, so I would advise any time you feel agitated or anxious watch something you can just get lost in, it really helps.

[justagirl_]

Thanks for the replies
Susan - I have been through 2 series' of friends in the past two days, it is definitely a good escape from the wandering thoughts! I've been trying to read as well to escaped, my find my concentration is lacking a bit at the moment!!

BGR- Glad things are looking up for you
I'm hoping the side effects won't get any worse in the second week than they have been in the first..It is reassuring to know that a lot of people are going through/have been through the same things.

Keep finding my mood going up and down quite a bit as well, like one minute I will be happy, and then the next, I'll start thinking and just feel really depressed again, and sort of detached from whatever situation I'm in. This makes me feel even worse! So definitely need to keep my mind occupied so as not to have these thoughts though!

[Raindog]

Your mood going up and down is just part of the battle the anxiety is putting up against the meds, I've had a few minor ups and downs this week but nothing too scary, I'm feeling a bit here and there today, wondering how my job interview went yesterday, feeling a bit down cos the thought of not being good enough keeps popping in for a wander around in my head, but that's part of the whole thing, I'm only coming to the end of my 3rd week so I can't expect to feel completely sorted out yet, but I'm not feeling anywhere near as bad as I did a few weeks ago.

Those times when you feel some relief from the depression and anxiety will give you the space you need to get through any of the downs you feel while the meds get to work and fight the feelings you've been going through.

Better days people

[justagirl_]

Day 6
I woke up this morning and had to get a shower and get ready for work so didn't have too much time to even think about the anxiety...I still felt dazed...the depersonalisation/derealisation is a symptom I have suffered from a lot in the past year..
I coped fine at work, almost had a panic attack but managed to ride it out.
Then spent all day in the sun with my friend, still the derealisation being the most prominent symptom/side effect..I've read so many times that the way through it is to just go along with it. Just can't wait to start feeling better.

Mood is still very much up & down, and I generally have been feeling much more depressed during the evenings. Didn't have a good nights sleep yet again...one more day at 10mg then onto 20mg on Monday.

My memory also seems to be pretty bad at the moment, but I heard that that is because the body is focusing so much on the anxiety that it isn't concentrating on remembering things..I hope so.


I read through a lot of the threads on the forum last night, and they made me realise I'm not going crazy. A lot of the things I thought only affected me, affect a lot of other people too and it made me feel a bit better about things. Especially to know I'm not alone in this.
Does anyone else find it difficult to explain to non-anxiety sufferers how they are feeling? I tried to talk to my friend about it today, and she just couldn't understand it at all...


Also Raindog, that's great that you had an interview, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

[Raindog]

Hi,
Just thought I'd mention, once you've been on the site for more than 5 days you can log into the chat room, you can find the link toward the top of the page on the main links bar. You can usually find a few of us, me included, lurking about in there having chats about stuff in general and get any support you need. It's good for a moan too