So anxious today

[jaded jean]

I am going to see my mum today , she is in a nursing home as she has dementia,Its her 83rd birthday too. I am getting so worked up about seeing her as I had a few family issues when I was a lot younger resulting in a family breakup
I did have a lot of issue with my mum then and a lot of things ahave come out the woodwork so to speak since she went into the nursing home.
I have been up since 4.30 and the chatterbox going, I feel so sick. I know you could probably say get some closure - I am trying , I am a very emotional person. I feel as if a panic attack is going to happen.
My dad has breast cancer and I am returning to work when my doc gives the ok this week. I feel suffocated with all tese emotions runnung round.
Jean

[MOJO]

Hello Jean,
Have just seen your post now. I hope things went okay when you visited your mum today. It's not easy to let go of things that have happened in our past. I'm sure that the reason I have anxiety today is because of all the things that have happened in my life. I thought I was coping at the time but now I know I wasn't. I was just burying it all and eventually the feelings had to come out. I too am a very emotional person and care too deeply about what everyone thinks and I always want to make things right for everybody.
You must be worrying a lot about your father too. You are having to cope with a lot of stress.
I'm sorry I waffled on about myself. That wasn't my intention when I started to reply to your post!
I hope you are feeling a bit better now. Take care.
Judy.x

[jaded jean]

Hi Judy.
Thank you for your reply. Unfortunately I did not get to go to see mum. Iwas quite agitated and weepy. But it was nothing for what was to come later in the day.. My eldest sister had come down from yorkshire to tell he rest of the family that mum has a malignant ulcer on her face, I couldnt believe it my dad has breast cancer now my mum has it. its a cruel world sometimes. But this will come as a wake up call for my siblings to take on a bit more responsibility regarding this situation. Basically we just cant deal with it we bury our heads and hope it goes away,
Jean

[Raindog]

Hi Jean
Really sorry that you've had more bad news on top of everything else, not something you need at the best of times, which you aren't having right now anyway. If you need a quick chat I'm in the chat room and it's quiet so you can pop in for a bit of a vent if you feel you need it.

It's a lot to cope with, but as you said, hopefully your siblings will realise how tough things are and start to help out more. I've not had to go through what you are so not sure how much help I can be, but whatever I can offer I will so pop in for a chat on a morning if you see me on the site and let it out, it usually helps to chat to someone.

Shaun

[Typer]

With all that going on, no wonder you feel suffocated.

Sometimes, if we are still angry about things, but angry with someone who we can no longer talk to about it, it changes and becomes anxiety (anger pushed down). Do you think there is still some anger there? If so, could you possibly go and talk with someone outside of the situation, someone who will not judge?