Anxiety vs. relationship

[keta]

I was wondering if your anxiety has affected your relationships in any way.
I seemed to be up and down a lot and confused about my feelings towards my boyfriend. If I have a really bad day I’m capable of breaking up with him but I know few days later I will regret it. We ve been going out for past 9 months now and I think my anxiety started creeping back on me about the same time when we’ve met.

Maybe it is a question for a different forum and I don’t think the Citalopram is affecting my feelings in that way but I do feel sometimes disconnected from my emotions towards anyone.
He knows all about my anxiety and is being very supportive and I feel I don’t treat him the way he would deserve. I know some days I feel 100% positive about our future and know I love him and next day I start doubting it all and myself.
Maybe I ‘m just desperately trying to find reason why am I behaving like this

[JT69]

Hi Keta,

I think anxiety can effect the way we feel towards our loved ones, it tends to make you have that dont care attitude at times, I also think it can make you make decisions you later would regret!!

I know my husband is 100% supportive towards me and my depression/anxiety and it makes me feel so guilty that he has to put up with it as I think he deserves better....its harder for those putting up with us than what we experience at times. I dont know what I would do without him though as at times I just have not wanted to go on and if it hadnt been for him and my 2 lovely children I dont know where I would be right now!!

Dont make any hasty decisions whilst feeling as you do make sure you give it time to make sure you wont regret it....(if that makes sense).

Take care
JO.xx

[keta]

Hi Jo

Thanks for the reply.
I did broke up with him about 5 times since January but always asked him to take me back and he did because he loves me that much. We both have small children and they get on very well and my son absolutely adores my boyfriend. I feel like a bitch for doing this to him but its like i can not cotrol my emotions sometimes and blur out anything which is on my mind without thinking about it twice. Apart from the anxiety I get very bad mood swings too and have to say that Citalopram leveled my mood a bit so that helps still I can not stop but hate myself for all that.

Keta

[JT69]

Hi Keta,

When I first started taking mirtazipine I was a complete bitch!!! I would jump down hubbys throat for the slightest thing....this took some getting over...but he still stuck by me. I wonder if I could of done that had the boot been on the other foot??

He so understands thankfully and knows how to handle me when I am in one of those "off" periods.

We obviously cannot help what we go through and as much as I too hate myself for putting others through it there is not alot we can do about it.

Lets just say we are lucky to have understanding people around us.

Take care hun.
Jo.xx

[NoPoet]

You're probably taking your low moods out on him because the anger is better than the sadness, and the satisfaction of hurting someone else is better than dealing with your own pain.

You realise that this behaviour is wrong and cannot continue, which is a positive sign. Also his tolerance of you is pretty amazing, you are quite lucky, but that won't last forever; you need to have a serious think why you keep splitting up with him, and if you want to be with him at all.

That said I am having similar problems with some friends where all I want to do is push them away or tell them to go to hell. I'll make my own thread about that though.

[keta]

Hi PsychoPoet

I know i'm very lucky he is still around. I just hate the confusion i feel sometimes but whatever it's down to my past or my anxiety i don't know. I have had counseling for some stuff i'm not proud off and my consellor told me i'm selfdestructive person i rather hurt first before i get hurt if that makes sense. And maybe i still have not learned my lesson
But thanks for your thoughts.

Keta

[NoPoet]

It's not just anxiety and depression that cause confusion.

Stress is a huge problem and not everyone recognises it or even knows what it is. Sustained periods of stress can cause all sorts of physical and emotional problems - and physical and emotional problems are very stressful - so you get trapped in a repeating loop.

If you're confused about things and they keep going round and round in your head, you are too close to the problem and it's created a stress loop. You need to take the conscious decision to STOP thinking about the problems for a while to give yourself a break. The world will not end if you have a break and your problems will not get worse - some of them might get slightly better without you constantly trying to work on them.

You could maybe have an evening out with your partner (to get away from the same old surroundings) and do something a bit different, maybe go for an evening drive to a country pub or something like that, just get out there and be surrounded by natural life, forget about things for a while and just enjoy an evening where you don't talk about problems or feelings. A change is probably better than a rest in some cases.

[keta]

Wish I had your wisdom sometimes

[moomin1]

This is a really interesting post for me as my first major symptoms of depression/anxiety were a sudden (overnight!) loss of feelings for my boyfriend. I couldn't understand why as up until then I had three years of a good relationship with very strong feelings towards him. Anyway, cut a story short, I felt as if I could not even kiss him or spend time with him and really could have finished with him had it not have been for the fact that my mind was telling me that my feelings could not be rational and that there must be a reason for my loss of feelings. When I went on Citalopram shortly afterwards my dr told me that it is EXTREMELY common for depression and anxiety sufferers to experience a loss of feeling towards their partners and even family members. Since taking the meds my feelings have returned for my boyfriend!

[keta]

Hi

Well my feelings got even worse now after being on Citalopram for a month I just feel i 'm not putting anything into relationship I also can't really do any physical contact don't feel like kissing or cuddling and sex it's like a strange word to me now. So I have broke up with my boyfriend last night I think i have put him through enough I just feel that all i can deal with right now is getting myself to work every day and look after my 5 year old it's sad but i don't like hurting people around me who i care for despite the damage already being done.