Hello,
I am crying as I am writing this, I just cant go through this anymore. I have had 3 abortions and 3 miscarriages and I am terrified of being pregnant. Each time I think I want a baby, but when I become pregnant I hate it and want it gone. I am 7 weeks pregnant. I thought that I was miscarrying 2 days ago (and was actually relieved) and so had a scan. It turns out that the baby is fine. All it has done has freaked me out and made me not want it anymore. I have had councelling, but it doesnt work. They put it down to my child hood. Please help me, I am at my wits end and just dont know what to do. I cant tell anyone how I am feeling. I havent even told my husband, I've got this awful dirty secret that I cant tell anyone. I am disgusted with myself.