Support group - Chester - 15th August 2010

[belle854]

Thats really impressive Paul, I wonder if it would still work with a few not so nice people I work with! I think James Cameron would be better to direct that film as he did do 'Titanic' and its kind of along the same lines.

[Lima]

Awwww Belle, so sorry to hear about your dog. It's awfully hard to lose a pet, they are members of the family. If you burst into tears, please know that I always have tissues in my pocket/bag. To be honest, I've been randomly bursting into tears all over the place for the last few weeks, so I will probably join you in crying!

Do I have to be the teacher in all this and separate you lot?!!! I think that should be Di's job, seeing as she's the most senior member of NMP between us all! I'm ducking out on this one - *runs and hides under the table*.

See you all next week.
Lima x

[lizzie29]

Lima and Paul - sorry to hear you're having such a hard time guys. Hope you both know you can text or pm me if you need to rant or some support (Paul, don't think you have my number, will pm you it).

Paul, I know you say you haven't achieved anything because you didn't enjoy it, but you did. Not achieving would have been staying at home and giving in to the panic, which would have been a lot easier and I know I've done that from time to time. It's really hard to push yourself, so I think you should be kind to yourself. Okay, so you didn't enjoy it which obviously you would rather have, but the fact that you did it is good in itself. I know what you mean about others actually living rather than just battling through, and yeah, I agree it's totally rubbish at times, to see everyone else enjoying life and living it to the full. Who knows though, maybe it's not as easy for them as it seems? I bet people at the zoo didn't look at you and think about your panic. Plus, you wouldn't have met us fine people if you weren't having difficulties. Just think, who would you have to take the mick out of, and make up stories about?!

Chin up matey - like you say, tomorrow is another day, and we're less than 7 days now til our meet-up!

PS - I'm fine, and thanks for the new name - what an oxymoron!

[diane07]

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Now wait a minute paul.............. no wonder you feel so down, you have just told yourself you're a crap dad, crap husband!!!!! no wonder you are feeling deflated, if i sat here telling myself how useless i was and how crap i was i would feel somewhat pretty damn horrible about myself.

So which bit makes you the useless dad and husband, you took your family to the zoo!!!!!!!!! you weren't feeling in the best frame of mind to begin with and you struggled..............well excuse me if you think different but......Ahem! doesn't that make you the best dad and hubby ever, the fact that despite feeling rotten, you still went.

And why oh why didn't you phone me, i could have helped you out

The zoo is a tough one, did it last year and i just couldn't get in the monkey house even though my little girl begged me to............... despite her feeling disappointed with me there was no way i was going to have the trapped feeling and then me start running through knocking every single person who dared to be in my way, huffing and puffing thinking i'm gonna collapse any minute.................no way, did i feel a failure, nope, i'd got myself to the zoo and that in itself was an achievement.

Tell you what we'll do, before the kids go back to school, arrange to go again only this time i'll go with my family too, i promise you, it will be a walk in the park.

Lima...................we have this support group to support one another, if you're feeling low, then do let us know so we can help you out, i can't remember if you have my number, but i'll pm you with it, you can phone me anytime, even if its just for a chat.

di xxx

[Lima]

Nice one Di, you tell him! I think you did amazingly, Paul, to even get through the zoo gates.

Ooooooh, if you are going to the zoo again, can I come too?!!! I don't have a child to bring (unless I steal the little girl from the flat below mine), but I am one at heart, especially when there's girryraffeys involved!!!

I am really struggling at the minute, but unfortunately because I'm stupid and scared of the phone, I couldn't ever call you!!!

Lima x

[diane07]

We'll all go the zoo, and prove its a lovely place to be and not scary at all, we can take a picnic

Lima i'll give you my number anyway and even if you didn't want to phone, you could always text me

di xx

[diane07]

I understand what you're saying paul.

But look at it this way, for a few years now i have had my super mate Lisa (bottleblond) on the other end of the phone for me, and there have been times when i have phoned her, knowing she can't really stop my panic, but quite simply, just talking to her knowing full well she knows exactly what i am feeling, has been enough, it has calmed me down and stopped the panic.

I no longer need that support now, she has been my rock and i will always be there for her too.

You should never feel guilty for leaning on my shoulder and nor should anyone else, my shoulders may look all weak and puny, but they have the strength of the incredible hulk.

I wouldn't have spent all day worrying, i passed through chester twice yesterday, i'd have just come to the zoo and let you know that i was there, you'd spot me a mile off, i'd be the one outside the monkey house screaming at the top of my voice..........ITS THE MONKEY HOUSE..................NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Sadly with anx and panic we have to go through these horrible thought processes in order to overcome them, its not nice, but its something we have to do continually until all of a sudden you'll be at the zoo, get home and think..........wow! i've just thought...........i didn't even panic today.............thats where i am upto now.

There will be times when i have a bad day especially if i'm tired, but its only a blip and not a failure, i pick myself up and dust myself down and think tomorrow is another day.

And thats all yesterday was for you.................A BLIP!!!

The great thing about this support group is i wouldn't care if i had a panic attack in front of you all, best people to be around if i did, because i know none of you would look at me like "oh my god! what a looney tune" i know you'd all know exactly what i was feeling and that alone makes me feel very safe

I'm going back the zoo at the end of august to go tackle the Monkey House..........Mr old Panic can just go take a run and jump, i'm going in there whether he likes it or not .

If i find the superhuman make yourself invisible recipe i'll bottle it up and bring it on sunday

di xx

[discostu58]

Its good to see a group being set up I'm from north wales would like more info if poss

[diane07]

Hiya stu,

we're all meeting up in chester at the benches opposite the Groves, do you know it??

di x

[lizzie29]

I'm in for a trip to the zoo! I don't worry about stuff like that, so if you really want to Di, I'll drag you in that monkey house! Seriously though, like Di was saying, I've got friends that are just there at the end of the phone if I need to phone them worrying, and it makes a HUGE difference, just knowing someone's there. I know I've said this to Paul and Lima, but obviously the same applies to you Di - I'm happy to be there if ever you need it, or even if you want to go out a bit further but don't want to do it alone, I'll come along. I think it's good if we can all turn these bad experiences into good by being there for each other.

Paul, I said the same as Di - the fact that you did it at all is an achievement. And Di and I are super brainy, so we must be right

Lima, I know I've said it loads, but please text if you need to!

Oh, and everyone, Paul has a little secret about today - IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY!!!
Happy Birthday Paul, I know you had an early start but hope you're enjoying it despite the tiredness! And you really don't look a day over 50...