Scared...

[ToniDMB]

I started having more better days than bad days...until this past Friday. Three weeks ago, I made the mistake of getting a friend a job where I work, and there was an issue that had come up between me and another employee and my friend put her two cents in, and I kindly asked her to not chime in, when she got in my face, called me a ****, screamed at me, swore at me, almost hit me, and said my son (who is an innocent six year old) was an *******.

Well dealing with what I am dealing with right now, I am not looking forward to going to work tomorrow and dealing with this. I have been edge about this since friday night.

I was really upset after that happened, although i just cried, pretty bad though, but later that night, my heart just started pounding like crazy, and the palpatations started...so I went home, got in the bath tub, put on some calming music, lit an incense, and meditated. I actually worked through an attack for the very first time.

Unfortunatly tonight I struggled a little bit. I guess with all that has been on my mind, I'm just on the brink of a breakdown. I cry easily today, I get this weird pressure/burning sensation on the top of my scalp (which terrifies me) and I shake uncontrollably. And this happened when i was on my second date with a new beau. Thank god, he was patient and completely understanding man and he helped me through it (guess I am lucky to have found him) anyway...I don't think there is anything seriously medically wrong with me, because of the siutation at hand that might have caused these feelings, and the feelings also have since gone away. If there was a serious problem, these pains would only get worse right? I guess I am just scared. My doctor tells me I am alright, I need to have the faith that she is being truthful.

Anyway...keep me in your thoughts tomorrow. It is going to be a very difficult day, and it is going to be a test, because at this point, I am ready to throw in the towel and quit my job.

Hugs,
Toni

[Lottie32]

HI Toni

Firstly, I'm not sure why you are describing this person as a "friend". I don't have any mates who would call me names, either to my face or behind my back.

Secondly, if she has "attacked" you in this way at work, then you should really be talking to your personnel manager. Whether you are friends with somebody or not, nobody should be allowed to attack you verbally or otherwise at work. And this includes your boss too!

Although it's easier said than done, please try very hard not to worry too much. I hate confrontation too, and avoid it whenever possible. However, this isn't always the best policy. I can spend days imagining what it will be like, getting really wound up. Then I face the situation, and discover that the person with whom I had an issue has calmed down, and it's practically forgotten.

Anxiety can provoke the most wierd and wonderful symptoms. It takes a long time to finally accept that these strange symptoms are caused by being anxious.

Please do not quit your job. Why should you? I speak from experience when I say that once you stop doing something, then it becomes much harder to start doing it again. And why should you leave your job, because of your ungrateful friend?

Make sure you do plenty of relaxing and distracting things, and if you are finding it hard to cope at work, please explain the situation to your manager.

Remember the skills you use to cope, and keep practicing them.

I hope everything goes ok for you

Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[diana]

Hiya Toni,

I am sorry that things are not going well for you right this moment. Try like Charlie said not to worry to much. Whatever you do, do not quit the job. You got your "friend" the job have her leave!!!!!!!!! if need be. I don`t understand a person we would call friend calling an innocent child a name. What is her problem??????? Good luck dear at work, I will keep you in my thoughts. Post to let us know how things got on for you today.

Take care,

Diana xxx

[sadie]

Hi Toni,

Keep your chin up and dont let your 'friend' push you out your job!!!

I cant believe that someone you regard as a close friend would treat you like that, especially in your place of work. If I was you, I would pluck up the courage and address her behaviour with her as it simply was unacceptable.

I always put things into perspective by asking myself how I would react in a similar situation or put myself in another persons shoes. I just cant imagine ever acting in this way with any my friends, family or work mates and the same goes with my friends etc with me!!

I do think you need to address this issue with your friend when you feel you can. It is very difficult to work with family and friends I think but maybe if you both sit down together and discuss the issue of keeping a good working relationship etc things could improve.

As for your anxiety symptoms...dont worry too much about them as you k now yourself they are simply just stress related. Keep yourself relaxed as possible with your nice hot baths etc and positive thinking and you will be fine!!

Take care

sadie

[stimpy]

Hi Toni

Get yourself a pillow, think about how nice your "friend" is and beat 7 shades out of it, swear at it, kick it and call it names.
Why should someone force you out of your job ?

If this attack happened at work it may be worth your while talking to a manager about it.
Don't let it get you down, think calming thoughts and beat your cushion to bits to help you get rid of some stress.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

[ToniDMB]

Well, I made it through my day. I was on edge for the most of it, but took my Ativan and my rescue remedy and focused on other things as much as possible. There were NO confrontations! YAY! It does make me feel better that I just came to work and got it over with (although a few times on the way there I was tempted to turn around and head home) but I know I need this job and the money that comes with it. So, I have decided to take fridays off...it will be good for me in many ways (and it also makes me happy to think that I don't have to work fridays and she does, haha, evil of me, i know) and I am going to train for a position at a business that my mom owns called Curves. I like helping her out, because it is such a positive WOMAN POWER kind of place, lol, and you just leave feeling good about yourself. I will take that kind of enviornment over this any day.

Anyway...all in all a good day. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that it lasts!

Hugs to all for your help and for keeping me in your thoughts!

Toni

[Meg]

Toni,

Well done for making yourself do it - even when all of your innards are crying out to turn back...

Your Mums place sounds really promising . Good choices.

Well done.

Onwards and upwards




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[stimpy]

That is good news.

Lets hope it all works out for you.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

[ToniDMB]

Hi all- I need some help....once again....

I woke up this morning on the shaky side....hands trembling a little, feeling out of place, shortness of breath and the dreaded heart palpatations. My first reaction is that something horrible is wrong with me. But I also know I get these symptoms from panic attacks. My question is this: How do I know when these symptoms are panic related or if I am in the midst of a heart attack. My biggest fear is that I won't be able to tell, and I will die because I let it go untreated.

Please, someone, get back to me as soon as possible. I am trying to get in the chat, but I can't get through...I am very scared.

Hugs,
Toni

[Lottie32]

Dear Toni

please try not to worry. Heart attacks do not happen to young fit people.

You are simply experiencing a panic attack. Your body is producing too much adrenaline, and is forcing your heart to beat faster to prepare your body for flight.

Logical when it's written down, but if still feels like hell when you are experiencing one!

Some people find that exercise helps to reduce the heart rate - a jog, or even taking the dog a walk may help.

Some people find that breathing exercises help.

Some people find distraction techniques - reading a book, watching a film etc. or imagining a "safe" place - a warm tropical beach seems to be a favourite.

Experiment until you find something that works for you. It could even be something simple like a bath, filled with essential oils (lavendar is very good for relaxation), and some nice candles. Remember though - the hotter the water, the faster the circulation and the heart rate will increase as your body tries to regulate it's temperature - so don't make it too hot.

Concentrate on your breathing as soon as you wake up. If you have a relaxation tape, then why not try waking up half an hour earlier than you need to and listening to the tape BEFORE you get up? That way, you should be starting your day much calmer.

Remember Toni that you have had a stressful few days, made some big decisions and still haven't really resolved things with your friend. Although you have gotten through alot, your body will still be feeling the strain, and will take a few days to "calm" down.



Charlie

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.