I need a kick in the butt..

[Juliamidlands]

Hello all, it's been a few weeks since I've posted, I hope you're all doing ok?

Quick update: I've been, well, 'ok' I guess- had another good spell when (yet again, lol), I thought I was recovered, but then the symptoms (mainly DP and excessive worrying etc) returned at the same time as my PMT in mid-January, but then disappeared again a few weeks ago, so the past 10 days/2weeks have been OK. But starting feeling a bit wierd again last night, so I think I'm seeing a pattern emerging between my hormones and the way I'm feeling. But what is great, is that the evenings are getting lighter now so that's definately been a big help with my driving issues (which is my main problem)

Anyway, my question for today..!

As I mentioned recently, Dave and I are still looking for a house, and I have a bit of a problem. I'm letting my issues with driving really affect the areas we can house-hunt in. So far, I have purposely been looking in the towns/residential areas, because I don't want to have to drive back from work in the dark along country roads (my main problems with driving are along rural, unlit roads/lanes). But this is starting to cause a problem- if we widened our search, there are some lovely large-ish villages on the outskirts of Hinckley (Leicestershire), which is where we are looking to move to. There are also quite a few places for sale in these areas, some of which could be just right for us, but I am SO worried that if we do move somewhere that is a few miles away from the areas where I might get a new job, that when the winter arrives and the nights draw in again, I'm going to start having major problems with driving on the dark roads.

I know..I know...I've been told about a million times that I CANNOT let my panic attacks rule my life, but what do I do? Do I stick to a 'safe zone' i.e. live just outside the town centre so I don't have to worry about the drive back from work, but compromise having a house in a nicer area? Or do we just 'go for it' - that is, look for a house slightly further out? I'd probably be OK with driving in the summer but I run the risk of going back to where I started in the winter.

I don't want to always have to stick to these 'safe' areas, as we have got the chance to look further afield for a nice house in a village, plus there are actually more areas where I could look for work if we lived further out, but I really don't know how many more winters I can face, like the one I've just had.

Comments, please!! :-) I know I shouldnt let my PA/dr thing rule my life, but I dont know what else to do....

Cheers, Julia xx



'To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world'.

[jackie]

julia

have you read claire weekes book on this?

try not to stick to safe areas, as one day this will end for you and you will want to have made the right choise

wish you all the best

jackie

[Juliamidlands]

Hey Jackie, thank you for the reply.
I really want to believe you- that one day, this will all end, but it's so on and off at the moment, that I really cannot see an end to it.

Julia xx

'To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world'.

[Ammeg]

Hey julia!!
Hope the house huntings going well?!! It is hard to not let it take over your life- I think it has completely with mine!!! Are there no nice houses just outside the town centre?? Hope your well anyway!!
Ammegx

[Juliamidlands]

there are, but there are some nicer areas just a few miles further out. I just dont want this to dictate what I do with my life, like I do at the moment.

'To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world'.

[nomorepanic]

Julia

A house purchase is a big thing. I would buy somewhere that you really really want to live and forget about the driving worries at the moment. Imagine if you got over that and you bought a house in an area you didn't want to live in?

I would chose the house and not the area that is easier to drive to. The driving issues can be overcome.

I am having CBT for my problems at the moment - have you seen my post? It is under the THERAPY forum on here.

Nicola

[Keitharcher]

Julia

First congratulations on discovering one of the links to your problems, thats another hurdle overcome you just have to learn to deal with it. As for your house hunting what I can say, you are not going to let this illness that you seem to be winning against stop you and your partner living in the places you want to. I to come from th midlands and I know Hinckley. Just think of the long summer nights in the country pubs, the bird song the flowers the escape from full citty living and it will all be just down the road from you. Forget the driving problem tell yourself its not a problem, as for the loing winter nights as you are driving down rural roads think of the clear nights when the moon is shining and how the landscape looks. In my opinion go for your dreams and not for the safe option

Keith

[jackie]

lovely post keith, take this on board julia, lifes for living not safe options. go with your heart not how your mind and tired body feel at the moment.

it will not last forever, there are too many success stories on the site to give in to that. this is my hope anyway.

one day that is what i dream of

you dream to , jackie