Obsessive swallowing

[picturegrl]

I'm having a lot of problems with this tonight -- struggling to eat every bite of a pizza I really wanted. I have this problem a lot. It's been worse lately.

Mine is the opposite of most of yours though. I never feel like I have enough saliva. I start to swallow and CAN'T. I start flipping my tongue around in my mouth like a dead fish, gasping and grabbing the chair or desk, pawing at my mouth and sometimes jumping up and rushing to another room in a blind panic.

I feel stupid even writing this. It IS stupid. It helps a lot to know others have felt this too. My fiance looks at me like I'm crazy when I say, "I couldn't swallow for a minute."

I start focusing on swallowing, wondering if the next time I try, I won't be able to. So then I can't. My mouth becomes more and more dry, then manifesting what I first imagined.

From a very early age, I struggled swallowing pills. I can specifically remember one instance of choking on a piece of steak. That night, I woke up clutching my throat and panicking. That was 30 years ago. I still do it a few times a month.

It's gotten worse again. A while back, a psychiatrist put me on Seroquel to help me sleep (I'm bipolar w/PTSD). Usually I fell asleep before I felt the side effects. This night, I was awake when they hit. Its major one is dry mouth. I was absolutely terrified, begging to go to the hospital, every swallow a supreme effort. I came online and started talking with friends as they tried to calm me. One suggested I go get some water and sip it. I felt better. After 30 minutes of slow, small sips, I was calm.

As long as I can drink something, I'm ok.

Last night, on a 15-hour drive that was very stressful, I started doing it. When I got to my hotel, I tried to take a pill about the size of an eraser (but it's Trazodone, shaped like a triangle - hard to swallow!) Usually if I choke on a pill, I get some sort of food to push it down. This time, all I had were some gummy bears in my car. I rushed out into the parking lot wearing only a tee shirt! I didn't care. I was choking.Then as the gummy bear started going down my throat, I started thinking about how hard it was to swallow those gelatinous globs, how it would glue into my throat and block my air and make me suffocate and.... you see how this went. Sheer terror. People don't GET it.

I realized something today. Because the dryness comes from over-swallowing, I've decided to let the spit gather in my mouth. To only swallow when there's enough spit. To purposely do this when I start feeling panicky. To concentrate on waiting for the buildup of saliva, NOT the act of swallowing. It takes the focus off the swallow AND gives me enough spit TO swallow.

Also, as everyone else has pointed out, classic clue that it's anxiety for me? I can get lost in fiddling with my computer, or online chatting with friends, or reading or doing some sort of activity that engrosses my brain, and guess what? I'll see that three or four hours have passed, and somehow I swallowed just fine.

BTW, I do this with breathing too. Panicked can't breathe feelings.

To the poster who mentioned gum helping... this reminds me of something I read in the book "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott. It's a book for writers (Yes, I'm a writer.) She mentions having a tonsillectomy and complaining to her doctor about pain. The doctor tells her to chew gum, and she thinks, "How stupid! My throat HURTS! I can't SWALLOW. You want me to chew GUM?" She says after a while of chewing, she realized her throat no longer hurt. The doctor told her that if something hurts, or if your body believes something is wrong, the muscles all around that area will tense, causing more pain and anxiety. If you can do anything to relax those muscles, they'll stop seizing up.

I do the candy, gum thing too.

Another thought on the gum, it may provide distraction, or for those who have dry mouths, it may stimulate salivation.

As for breathing, I haven't found an answer to that one.

[maggie1]

Just read through all the letters and I'm greatly heartened by everyone's sense of humour in the face of all the "swallowing" suffering. I think you're all great, as I know how much you'd all love an answer to it. I relate totally to the "being afraid of being conscious of something that should be done unconsciously" and feel that that's the crux of my problem. I get terrified that I'm going to focus on them when I shouldn't be, when other people are doing it unconsciously. I haven't a clue why, but it started in my teens, has come and gone all my life, and has resurfaced big time since I turned 60, but I've never got to the bottom of why I'm so afraid of it. I'd love to get to the bottom of it. It's just as though, until I have something equally awful to obsess about, this obsession keeps me busy and won't go away. I HATE IT! Maybe that's the problem - I know if I didn't hate it so much it would probably go away naturally.

Sorry I've got no answers, but it's good to know you fellow sufferers have such courage.

With best wishes to you all.

[SuperInfinity]

Just read through all the letters and I'm greatly heartened by everyone's sense of humour in the face of all the "swallowing" suffering. I think you're all great, as I know how much you'd all love an answer to it. I relate totally to the "being afraid of being conscious of something that should be done unconsciously" and feel that that's the crux of my problem. I get terrified that I'm going to focus on them when I shouldn't be, when other people are doing it unconsciously. I haven't a clue why, but it started in my teens, has come and gone all my life, and has resurfaced big time since I turned 60, but I've never got to the bottom of why I'm so afraid of it. I'd love to get to the bottom of it. It's just as though, until I have something equally awful to obsess about, this obsession keeps me busy and won't go away. I HATE IT! Maybe that's the problem - I know if I didn't hate it so much it would probably go away naturally.

Sorry I've got no answers, but it's good to know you fellow sufferers have such courage.

With best wishes to you all.

awwwww.... *gives you a hug*

At nomorepanic we'll always support you and I just hope that it's getting better for you.

[Kerrigan]

I'm glad I found this thread too. I've had this problem for roughly 6 years. In the beginning it was just a preoccupation which started after a suspected nervous breakdown, I must have been in a fragile state of mind or in the grip of depression but at the time it was just a curious thing. I woke up one day and thought 'Why am I swallowing when I don't need to?'

It didn't have any real impact on my life until one day I was sent on a child care course and for whatever reason my focus went straight to my throat, the tension built up as the slides of child abuse clicked past, I was sat shoulder to shoulder in a full business hall and confounded myself for getting up grabbing my bag and jacket and leaving. Maybe this was the beginning of being defeated by it rather than just distracted.

I'm not sure what percent of it is me and what % is 'it' because it does seem to be beyond my control at times. It's crippled me, I know that sounds bad and I'm beginning to think it's just my judgement because you guys seem afflicted by it yet you still keep your faith.

I often say to my friend that if it wasn't for this swallowing thing, (I usually call it a tic) then I'd be a happy high-flyer but at the moment it has drained my personality and my dreams of teaching.

Sometimes I choke also, which scares people ****less! I hate myself for that but partly I also think 'Tough, you can't handle me, thats not my problem'. It makes me v.self-conscious.

I'm going to a psychological assessment soon by order of my parents as I'm in a serious rut. At 24 I have nothing to my name so I say bring it on, I'm cautious of drugs but I'm willing to try anything now!

[SuperInfinity]

I'm not sure what percent of it is me and what % is 'it' because it does seem to be beyond my control at times. It's crippled me, I know that sounds bad and I'm beginning to think it's just my judgement because you guys seem afflicted by it yet you still keep your faith.

I often say to my friend that if it wasn't for this swallowing thing, (I usually call it a tic) then I'd be a happy high-flyer but at the moment it has drained my personality and my dreams of teaching.

I know exactly what it's like. It's a horrible, horrible place to be. And it's as though you feel on your own right...? In your own little hell...? Well I don't know what I'd have done if it wasn't for the internet and seeing how other people have it as well.

But one thing I want to make sure you understand is that it DOES go away. Little by little. It's so gradual. Just try not to let the heart go pumping and adrenaline set off when you think about it. That's what makes it stay with you. I know it's hard.... :/

I remember waking up some mornings and being SO COMPLETELY OBSESSED AND TORTURED WITH IT...... it really is a terrible, terrible, terrible thing. A person who was here and had it asked if it was the worst condition possible.... and I think maybe it is....

There were times when I wondered if I'd ever be able to watch a movie again or ever be able to go a few hours in life without that horrible torture... really horrific stuff... :S

I'm going to a psychological assessment soon by order of my parents as I'm in a serious rut. At 24 I have nothing to my name so I say bring it on, I'm cautious of drugs but I'm willing to try anything now!

Please don't take meds. And WHATEVER you do NEVER dream of taking neuroleptics, they just mess you up.

[abc03]

Hi to everyone, how you doing? I'm not too bad atm, still have ups and downs sometimes. I found best thing to cope my anxieties and OCD thoughts is accept myself as i am and try to take my mind off doing and focusing on different things. I should also say music, sport/fitness and body exercises are really helpful too.

I want to ask some questions about obsessive swallowing; Do you also suffer from excessive salivation and neck tensions? Have you suffered from sinusitis or upper respiratory infections like pharyngitis or coughing attacks? Do you think you have a big adams apple on your throat? And finally, do you think your OCD problems have been caused by genes?

I d be grateful if you answered these questions. Best wishes to everyone.

[terence881]

Hello everyone i'm Terence i've been suffering obsessive swallowing also. I always thought I was the only one but now i see i'm not. I feel more relieved that I found this thread THANK U!!!!!!!! It makes me uncomtherable whenever i'm with people, in class learning, and especially driving.... eeeek! It makes the teacher fear me, and my classmates. This is my first post i ever posted on one of these sites but I would like to share to u guys some of my methods of ignoring swollowing
1. Slow down your breathing
2. focus on something else
3. when ure about to swollow make a noise like tapping or stomping your feet. sometimes it scares your habit temporarely
4.focus on breathing and the middle of your eyes this helps sometimes (idk why)
5. just enter the situation positively
GL EVERYONE!!!

[amfield]

I've discovered something that works for me, it may work for others, it may not, but it's worth a try. So I have this book called "Don't Shoot The Dog," it's about changing behaviors. In one of the chapters it gives techniques for changing behaviors, one of those techniques centers around "cues." It's sort of like when you want your dog to sit or some other command, you use one of those clickers. So the dog is exhibiting a certain behavior when it hears the click, the cue. If you don't want the dog to exhibit that behavior, with hold the cue. How I translated that to my swallowing obsession was this, in order to swallow, I have to clap my left hand once. That goes for drinking, eating, and swallowing saliva, I have to clap my left hand. I'm starting to get my brain trained to it, and in already 16 hours I haven't had any anxiety with my swallowing obsession, I'm still aware of my swallowing but there's no anxiety. And I think the reason there's no anxiety is because claping my left hand, it puts me in control, I'm in control, not the obsession. I hope this works for others, it is certainly helping me.

[Kerrigan]

I also have this obsession. I was wondering for those who say their mouth gets dry, does it then also get LOUDER when you swallow?

My mouth gets dry too and then my swallowing gets awfully loud, sometimes I choke. The muscles of my throat will just swallow by themselves quickly and forcefully as the muscles contract (this usually happens if it's cold but can also occur at times of prolonged tension and just after waking up).

I think about swallowing through the day at least every minute, possibly two. If I'm sat in class I can control it but I'm still aware of it gathering in my mouth and I'll click my pen or ruffle paper to disguise swallowing. The act of swallowing in class is increadibly hesitant, sometimes I'll push the saliva to the front of my mouth and consider swallowing, then I'll yawn (this makes swallowing quieter and lowers the blood pressure) if I don't swallow after I've yawned the tension builds up and it feels like I can't breathe, it's like an internal pressure that could and often does result in choking.

I can forget for a while after I've swallowed but my mind always goes back to it. I tell myself 'no-I won't think about it anymore' but when the spit gathers up wild horses couldn't stop me thinking about swallowing again.

I've realised now that when I don't think about it, it isn't because I've broken through the mental block it's because my mind has just risen above the 'block' to other things.

[ManX]

Hi people

ive been having this swallow problem for about 13 years now and its pretty bad...ive seen dannic1 post in another forum where i posted too ,it's a small world on the internet

I dont know what tips i can give as i have it bad but there were periods in my life it went alot better,btw now lately i have alot of saliva wich makes it even worse then it already was lol

Ive noticed that in times of my life when i was really happy and felt loved i was almost cured,too bad those periods in my life were short.

Another thing is try not to think about it,be strong and try to accept it and just not care,the more u care and worry the worse it gets basically.