I took my grandaughter to playgroup yesterday and one of my daughters old teachers started talking to me and asking me advice.
She told me one of her friends had started suffering with panic attacks and that her daughter had rang her and told her how much her mum had changed.
She told me how much her friend had changed and that she never seemed the happy person she used to be and when she did laugh it seemed like a forced laugh.
That so reminded me of myself and I just hope my family dont realise that.
I feel constantly guilty.
When I laugh it doesnt come from the heart anymore.
I have the most terrible morbid thoughts even though im on anti depressants and my hubbys gone out of his way to try and help me feel happy.
Im sure the unhappiness I feel is partly due to the fact that ive got an illness that no one can see or understand and the guilt I feel for letting people down that I dearly love.