Toilet phobia

[paulaf]

I have always had a big fear of needing diarrhea when I am in a place where I can't easily get to a toilet. Because I am anxious this makes me get an upset stomach, which makes me more anxious...its a vicious circle. I often need to go at work but can't if there is anyone around so I always have to find a disabled toilet. I was wondering if anyone else shares similar fears?

[idontknow]

Hi Paulaf,

You are not the only one! I have spent years thinking that I'm some sort of weirdo & that nobody else has this problem but then I found this:

http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/condition_toiletphobia.php

I started off with 'just' panic attacks (which is still how I explain the fact that I won't travel any distance & can't have anyone in a car with me - I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone, even my doctor, what the real problem is). I've gradually learnt how to deal with all the other symptoms - I know I'm not having a heart attack, depersonalisation is horrible but doesn't last forever, I can control the urge to be sick & most symptoms are unnoticeable to anyone who's not looking for them... But the dodgy tummy thing... It's not like I can think that one away, if I need to go I need to go! (Although I have noticed that if I get freaked out when travelling & get that 'urgent' feeling, it quite often goes away as soon as I turn around & head home Sometimes I wish I could just not eat, then there wouldn't be a problem. The fear of 'having an accident' (if this ever happened in the company of someone that I know my life would effectively be over) overshadows my whole life & affects every single thing that I do & I can't even explain it to people. My husband is losing patience with me & I don't blame him. I have a young baby which makes it even more difficult to get out & about coz I can only fit the pram in a disabled cubicle & I obviously can't leave it outside! I'm very worried about what will happen when my baby is too big to take in with me but too young to wait outside - then what???


I've had CBT & hypnotherapy in the past to no avail - I just couldn't talk about it, so they were just trying to treat my anxiety which, on it's own, I could deal with myself. I'm thinking about trying reiki. I'm on a waiting list for counselling but I can't really see how that will help.

This has turned into a much longer ramble than I intended, but then I've never told anyone about this stuff!

Hope the link is useful to you & that knowing you're not alone helps

[paulaf]

I dont know - thank you so much for sharing that with me, it helps me so much to know I'm not the only one! I have had this 'hang up' since I was a small child and it really impacts on me going anywhere where I can't easily get to a toilet. I am learning to drive at the moment (because I am scared of public transport) but going out in a car for 2 hours with driving instructor has been terrifying! My husband always says 'why are you scared of diarrhea? If you don't make it to a toilet so what?' - like you though, I think this is my ultimate fear. A psychologist once said to me: Have you ever lost control of your bowels? and I said no but I still can't help the irrational fear that I could. I would recommend you try telling your doctor if you can - I recently did for the first time ...ever! and it is a relief, they have probably heard much stranger things. I also have the thought about not eating! I am going to ask the doctor if there is anything I can take to prevent me having to go so much...

Dahlia, I also have a fear of being sick (on top of everything else!), I have a fear of being sick and having diarrhea at the same time too. (I'm actually sitting here smiling because what I am typing sounds so ridiculous)...sorry to be so graphic too. I think I might need to try the imodium for my driving test day!

[idontknow]

Dahlia - the thing to remember about being sick is that to actually vomit, the normal muscle contractions (peristalsis) have to change direction (reverse peristalsis). So if you swallow (water if you have it, but the swallowing action alone works), you force the contractions to travel downwards; because they can't work in two directions at once, this is pretty much guaranteed to stop you being sick. Hope that makes sense? It's worked for me even in the backs of taxis after too much to drink - conclusive proof as far as I'm concerned! It doesn't work forever if there is actually a physical reason why you need to throw up (see previous example!) but it works for long enough.

I can take imodium, it gives me an evil stomach ache & ironically, makes me sick!

[x_Shazza_x]

I totally relate to this. I have IBS and literally obsess over being away from a toilet. I also have anxiety, agoraphobia and panic attacks so this affects my IBS and makes it even worse which then makes the other things worse.

I am terrified of not being able to get to a loo which then goes on to what if i need the loo and there's no toilet roll and i run out of the one i carry with me, or what if there's a queue or they're locked etc.

I barely travel because of it and it gives me terrible anxiety. I was prescribed loperamide as this is supposed to reduce the frequency of going but if I take 6 before going out I've found that a number of times I've still had to go when I'm out. I hate using public toilets because I don't like the idea of someone hearing me 'go' etc.

[AJS]

omg - i am the same - i have had a dodgy system for the past 3-4 years which gradually got worse.
I have never liked having to use public toilets from a young age.
last year i got a load of blood tests as the running to the loo was becoming more and more frequent and I was losing weight. They first found helicobactor and treated it with anti biotics. my tummy/bowels were still in bits - so next came the colonoscopy and endoscopy (which terrified me). They found nothing and the consultant just said i must have IBS.
Then next came the first panic attack out of the blue - again terrified me - which led to panic disorder - couldnt eat, sleep, go to work, was scared to go anywhere.
Eventually things got a better after seeing a counselor and being put on 20mg citalopram and propananol.
I use immodium frequently - if I have to go somewhere I take it as a precaution - i actually think it's more physcological as I think well i've taken immodium that will stop me needing the loo. But when panic is really bad i need to run to the loo anyway.
I can't believe there are other people who have the same issues as me - I thought i was a weirdo that worried about toilets.
I have had 2 accidents in the car - which left me devastated - i cried mky hear t out for ages afterwards - i felt degraded and out of control of my own body - luckily these were in the car and not in public - which is my biggest fear. I have to get on a train in the morning and evening going to work -and i am always worrying - what if there is no loo on the train, or what if its out of order and we get stuck on the track and i start to panic my bowels go then i have an accident. I built up the courage to speak to my counselor about it and she didn't bat an eyelid - she said "oh yeah we've treated people for the same thing before" which made me feel better - but she did say whats the worst that can happen - which of course is having an accident in public - her attitude is so what - but i would be mortified - it was bad enough when it happened in the car. I try and plan things out and take precautions - like always having tissues, i have bought a cardboard loo for the car in case of emergencies - i take immodium all the time - I have even considered buying tena pants and i am only 27!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's such a difficult thing to talk about - i am so glad that i have found other people who suffer the same and we can all try and help each other. Just like the panic attacks and anxiety - talking to others on here has been a saving grace for me.
I hate havin to use the toilets in work - i am always worried that someone will come in - or that i leave a smell!
I have come to realise that - yes i have probably got ibs and get bloated and certain foods make my stomach upset - but a huge part of this is caused by the stress, anxiety and panic attacks - i just can't believe there has not been more lingking between these things by doctors.
anyways - i have now rambled on for ages - anyone got any remedies or tips?
AJ x

[idontknow]

Wow, there's a few of us then??

Meant to add, this

Now my GP has me on 2 Imodium a day to counteract the diarrhoea of sertraline.

surprises me; until I fell pregnant I was on 50mg sertraline & found that it helped a lot. I still had 'the fear' but it stopped the physical symptoms escalating. Can't take it now though, as I'm still breatfeeding. Even once I've stopped I don't think I could unless I could find someone to look after me & the baby for at least a week - the side effects when I first started taking it meant I was no use to anyone! I would much rather find a more permanent solution anyway...

[AJS]

i dont know

thanks for the link - i have ordered the tp info dvd from the website - will let you know how it goes! some good info on that site.

aj

[paulaf]

Hi I just wanted to thank everyone who replied to this post. It does help to know I'm not the only one with this problem. AJS - I'm 29 and the Tena pants crossed my mind a few times too! I had my driving test today - took imodium before and didn't need to go again once I had left the house, although I think driving to the test helped keep my mind busy. I unfortunately failed my test and am so gutted. At least I know I can do it, hopefully will sit it again and pass next time.

[nixi]

Hi Paulaf,

Thank you thank you thank you for your honesty in posting this, I am exactly the same and have felt like such a freak for so long. You have made me feel so much better just knowing I am not alone and I am so grateful.
I am just starting CBT so I hope this will help me. I used to take immodium but have been told to stop as I was taking to many for too long so the anxiety has obviously gone up because I have nothing to rely on.
thank you again
xx