back pain/chest pain why am i still worrying??

[ditzy]

Hi guys I am new to this forum and have been reading it a couple of weeks now, you all seem so friendly & supportive & it's been a great help to me.

I'm 34 & my HA started 18 mnths ago when I convinced myself I had cancer of the oesophagus. I suddenly noticed one day that I cld feel a lump in my chest when I swallowed & I cld feel food going down etc. Over the next couple of weeks (after countless visits to different doctors all telling me there was nothing wrong with me) it just got worse the dreaded Dr Google came out & I literally spent every waking hour on the internet. Of course I ended up diagnosing myself with oesophagal cancer as I had most of the symptoms but the dr said no way & put me on antidepressants. By this time I was convinced & thought I was dying and no-one was listening to me and after 3 weeks and a night of no sleep & major panic attack (almost went to A&E) my mum went with me to docs & she put me on 10 day course diazepam. 3 days later all symptoms were gone & I was different person & they never came back again. Had endoscopy done couple of months later just to check & everything was fine.

How can my body have made up all those symptoms? At the time they felt so real. I was ok until 3 months ago when I got sore throat that went on for more than 2 weeks - what did I do? Yep Dr Google came out again & if u type in chronic sore throat more than 2 weeks somewhere it brings up 'cancer' - my biggest fear since I smoked for 13 years (about 10 a day) but gave up a year ago. Dr said it was post nasal drip no way cancer gave me nasal spray & sure enough a week later it had gone.

Then 3 weeks ago I notice I have bit of a cough which went after a week but I have since got chest pains & sore back & now convinced I have lung cancer. Been back to docs again who reassured me no way cancer back pain is muscular,chest pain anxiety & full blood test was fine nothing to worry about. She has put me on anti depressants again.

So why then after being reassured by my dr am I still thinking its lung cancer? I'm sure I'm tensed up all the time which causes it but there's always that little doubt in my mind -what if? And to top it all off I've just read a story (yes I've been googling again) about a 39 yr old woman who had lung cancer due to heavy smoking - why do I do this to myself?? The pain got worse just reading about it now I can't stop thinking about it and won't sleep tonight. Uurggh!!

Sorry for long post just thought I'd introduce myself!

[ditzy]

What a terrible night woke up 3am with almighty stomach pains going round to my back, got up panicked and thought I was having heart attack or going into some sort of shock nearly passed out. I was sick then I managed to calm down and after about an hour the pains went away and I managed to drift off. I think it must've been something dodgy I ate but the old me before this anxiety thing would never have reacted like that, I would just have accepted it was a bug or something and not worried about it. Instead I had full blown panic attack & thought I was dying was all ready to get my husband to phone an ambulance.

And now I still have this upper/middle back pain that I am constantly worrying about can' t think of anything else. Doctor said it was muscular as it hurts when touched & there is no way that I have something sinister wrong with me. My mum says that I am probably subconsciously tensed up the whole time aswell which is causing it and I try and say that to myself but there is always that little doubt that I have lung cancer or something and the more I think about that then the worse it gets.

I can see myself getting like I did again 18 months ago when I ended up making myself really ill it was the worst time of my life. I'm really worried, can anyone help does anyone else suffer back pain? It is like a dull ache that hurts when I press it and it moves about aswell yesterday it was in a different place.

Thanks for reading x

[tag]

Hello,

I think we sound very similar.

I've been to my doctor on more occasions than I care to recall with chest pains & throat pains - convinced it's lung cancer, throat cancer, whatever.

I also used to be able to resist the lure of Dr Google but of late my Health Anxiety has become so persistent that I've even broken that cardinal rule and got myself terrified of all sorts of things again.

I'm currently over-analysing my swallowing habits & believeing myself to have oesophegal cancer because I seem to have an acid reflux problem at the moment & it's not something I normally experience. Of course, because I looked at Google I know only too well the symptoms and of course swallowing difficulty is right up there.

I absolutely sympathise with your inability to rest easy - the only times I've ever been convinced that there's nothing going on is when I have had a full check up from a specialist or had a scan or similar black & while proof put in front of me.

I am now trying very hard to accept my doctor's diagnosis over Dr Google's rather than walking out of the surgery after a reassurance visit happy & relieved only to think 30 minutes down the road "but what if he's wrong.." To do this, I try & think logically (a big step for all of us with HA I know) along the lines of - he's been right all the other times, it wasn't serious, why should this be any different?

These people are trained professionals and it is no way in their interest to fob you off with a diagnosis that could very well be disastrously wrong - if they have any doubts whatsoever about your condition I truly believe that they will take further action.

I really hope that this helps and that you are feeling a bit better soon.

All the best.

[davey]

If you haven't already you should request cbt therapy from your doctor, I was very dubious about it but it has changed my life for the better-I still get my pains(every bloody day) but thanks to cbt I dont panic with them and have more rational thoughts. If you can find a charity that does it the waiting times are a lot shorter instead of the nhs.
Good Luck

[tag]

If you haven't already you should request cbt therapy from your doctor, I was very dubious about it but it has changed my life for the better-I still get my pains(every bloody day) but thanks to cbt I dont panic with them and have more rational thoughts. If you can find a charity that does it the waiting times are a lot shorter instead of the nhs.
Good Luck

Couldn't agree more - CBT is a great help.

I've benefitted from it in the past but things have got a bit too much of late and I'm on the long NHS list for another appointment.