I'm not able to take the strain

[ElizabethJane]

As you all know I have been doing really well these past few weeks in tackling my depression and anxiety. I am on the maximum whack of mirtazapine 45mg and lithium 1,000mg. I'm not reporting low mood and yet I keep becoming ill just minor things but it really sets me back and lowers my mood. I'm really pleased as I have travelled in a coach and driven for an hour. I suffered heatstroke in the week and now it seems I have a cold. I was working all day Saturday and I just know any 'normal' person would be able to cope with that. I just came home all achy and exhausted. My 'tummy' is all up the creek and I have all the problems associated with IBS plus a possible fissure/piles or both. I try not to let these things dominate my life but I know inside my brain I'm completely exhausted. I just don't have the inner resources to cope so I end up failing. I know that some of is is due to 'emotional' scarrring from events that happened years ago. No amount of therapy is going to make me recover from that. So I try to accept myself as I am and yet I come up against mental barriers and then physical illness. The latest thing has been feeling physically sick in the morning. Usually this goes by the time I go to work sometimes not.Sometimes I'm left with a heavy feeling and the 'runs' I have explained all this to Dr J and his pen just goes into overdrive. I can't allow my body to be ill because that would apppear as failing and I feel as if I have lost years being mentally ill. I know that some of you will have heard me rant like this before and I thank you for listening. EJ.

[JT69]

HI Elizabeth-Jane,

Sorry that you are feeling like you are, I can relate to feeling physically sick in the morning as I often do...rarely do I manage breakfast due to it, I try to force a banana down but find it extremely hard. Please dont think you are failing as you're not its just symptoms of anxiety that make you feel that way.

It is hard as you say not to let these things take over and it is bound to cause exhausture when continuing as you do "getting on with it"....just make sure you allow yourself rest when you get home.

I know for me I can have a spell of good days and then just wake up as I have today feeling panicky and drained and you feel you are back at square one again...inside you know the phase will pass but when you are in the midst of it it is difficult to accept that.

I do hope you feel better soon again...as you say this weather doesn't help...at least it seems like it is going to cool down for a few days this week.

Take care and feel free to rant....thats what we are here for...to listen.

Jo.xx

[pollyanna]

Hi EJ

im sorry you are feeling so rubbish, i think this tends to happen a lot to me too. Just when you are feeling a bit better mentally, things take a bit of a downturn physically, and it is one ailment after another. i too was feeling better thanks to starting citalopram, and had mentally perked up a lot, now over the last 10 days, i am troubled with mainly bowel issues, the anxiety has peaked again, and i am struggling to try and keep it under control, as well as trying to deal with physical pain/symptoms. luckily i dont have to go out to work, so i really feel for you having to try and cope and work too.
This spell will pass, as it always does, but its tough trying to live through it, try and look after yourself as best you can, sleep, nourishment etc, and hopefully this spell will end soon.As Jt said, we are here to listen, we have big ears and broad shoulders.lol.

take care, will be thinking of you.

P x

[JaneC]

Rant away EJ . I think I know how you feel. Even before I developed CFS I constantly felt dragged down by annoying health issues - stomach and bladder probably being the worst of them. Sorry I don't have any answers - except could you maybe be suffering from IBS? Nausea was a big part of that for me - but really just wanted to know I was thinking about you. As Pollyanna says, be good to yourself and I hope you feel better soon xx

[Vixxy]

Hey. Its not a weakness to be ill. Your body needs just as much love and hugs as your brain does
Take some time out and just relax. You sound like youre very busy at the moment.

[ElizabethJane]

Thank you for all your kind words and thoughts. I think that I shall have to start being a bit kinder to myself. EJ.

[Gordon64]

Hi EJ

Just caught this post-sorry you are not so good at the moment-I am sure it WILL pass just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.

G