Re: Depressed with how my life is.....no support
Hi Kay,
Its sad to hear what you write, but also I think it is quite common. Your parents sound like the type who can acknowledge physical need or help during your siblings perceived success but have not the slightest empathy with mental health (ie. depression and/or anxiety) or even other situations such as lone parenting. This is sad, and obviously especially sad for you. I sometimes think such people have a tremendous repressed fear of these situations and conditions, which is why they avoid us so much. So we get treated more like Lepers. This is unfair but its hard to change their mental makeup.
I come from a large family (as does my wife) and have also been "the least likely to be visited" over many many years (I'm 48). Even if they were doing something involving driving within half a mile or less. My elderly parents also got the same, rarely saw grandchildren (except my kids) once they did not travel themselves and certainly not great grand-kids. That's not much consolation, but I wanted you to know you are not alone in this either.
I fail to see why your parents should control your use of childcare, its not like they are offering to childmind instead is it! You have you own home and your own life, and it sounds like you need to "get on with that" as no-one else is offering much help. Its almost like they want you punished for being a single parent - sorry I should not say that, but this kind of thing does my head in.
Don't worry about the state of your home, as it sounds to me as if you are trying to avoid being judged by your family for not having a "lovely house"! Clean and tidy is far more important than nicely decorated. Especially to your kids. As is you lowering your anxiety and stress.
When you have the money tackle one job at a time. For advice - ask! - or get something good like the Collins - Jackson/Day "Complete DIY manual". Around in various editions and secondhand too. (check amazon, alibris, etc).
As to getting out - with the age of your little ones, a trip to the park and a picnic or a ride on a bus will be an exciting outing. And you might meet some other mums and a slight sense of community and support. Also check for events at the library and so on over the school holidays.
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Kevin, Southend-on-Sea, Essex, UK
Probably GAD & Phobias. Anxiety and renewed Depression medicated (Venlafaxine). Trying to improve.