feel like im going backwards

[pink88]

hi im 22 and i have suffered with anxiety for 4 years in the last 2 i have been suffering with agoraphobia. I have recently started cbt therapy and I am goin to the end of my road. I go in the car with my partner just locally not everyday but at least twice a week but the last 2 weeks i have felt really unwell and have not been out at all i feel like i have let myself down and my family down is this just a blip or a relapse?

I dont want to go backwards!

[PUGLETMUM]

hi, no its not a relapse - it is just a blip, but you need to do more not less - otherwise it does take a very long time - im the same, i dont do enough and then i feel really bad - most of us agoraphobics on here experience the same thing. dont beat yourself up, just mske a plan of all th esmall things you can do -gives you something to work towards and makes you feel good that youve conquered these steps - make them small and you will get through them quicker and will therfore feel sense of acheivemnent. - you havent let yourself or anybody down - far from it, you are trying really hard how can that be negative? it took along time to become agoraphobic, so you wont turn it around over night?

[pink88]

thanks

I suppose its cause i was doin so well within a week i went to have my implanon out at my gps went to my daughters sports day etc and now i havent done anything for 2 weeks!

[rosie62]

I feel just like you right now, had really felt i was making real improvement going for short walks every day and building up the distance and taking the car out for a little drive going that little bit further each day and suddenly for the last few days its like I have gone backwards and havnt managed to get more than a few yards from home without the panic setting in. Could really do with some helpful advice,

[ladybird64]

Hi

I haven't done anything for a couple of weeks due to family circumstances and have also got that jittery feeling.

What I have learnt is to ignore it! There is nothing like the mind of an anxeity sufferer to say "See? I told you that you couldn't do it and I was right. Better to stay safe at home than feel bad trying."

Challenge that irritating little voice that makes us feel low. You may not be able to go further than the end of the road this week and maybe the next but so what? You will be able to get further again because each time you accomplish something you chip away at the anxiety..you lessen its power.

Try and remember that the agora isn't a seperate entity..it's in our own heads, we carry it with us where we go.
A scary thought I know but it honestly can't hurt us, it's a product of our own fear.

I'm heading out shortly, feeling a bit "nervy" but what the hell. I may feel like crap but then again I may not..and I know the feeling I have when I get home after all the stuff I have to do this afternoon (and I have to do tons! ) will be great. Nothing can beat the feeling of accomplishment.

Give yourselves some time, you haven't gone back..you're just resting.
In your own time ladies.

[pink88]

thanks ladybird really appreciate the advice!I go out on one day and get a lot further or do better than anticipated i feel great but then the next i dont go as far as id like i feel dissapointed then i wont go out for a week or two but really is hould look at is as i havent been out at all in 2years so any amount of time outdoors is an achievement for me.
I just wanna get back to normality where i was always out i was never in im missing out on parties goin out with friends etc and people are so jusgemental nowdays you say anxiety panic disorder and agarophobia they automatically think your a in their words 'freak' which we are not a mental illness is just the same as a physical illness its just you cannot see it. It all takes time to heal and in time hopefully i will get back to goin out.

[PUGLETMUM]

hiya, i think this is very typical behaviour of an agoraphobic - if you could have weekly counselling, you would be reassured of this. but as most of us cant have that, we have to find other ways of dealing with this - and one way is to take advice from ppl who have been agoraphobic along time and have realised everything that ladybird says - it is still hard, sometimes very painful, and we still get that voice - but the experience, teaches us that - the voice only goes away through challenging it, but by not beating yourself up at the same time, when you dont acheive something you set out to do!!!! its almost paradoxical - coz we have to do stuff to gain our confidence, but when we feel unable, coz its usually too much too soon (and in my case its usually someone else putting too much pressure on!), we cant then beat ourselves silly with that big stick we all carry around - just for when we are feeling particularly vunlnerable!

also, what ive found happens is that the success, then gives us unrealistic expectaions of ourselves, or makes us depressed for our 'old' self - god i cant even remember an 'old' self anymore - maybe that makes it easier - you cant miss what youve never had

also, i hope you dont mind me saying, anxiety is not a mental illness - if you go to nopanic - in telford (the site, not the actual place!), you will get lots of reassuring info there, about this very disabling 'condition' - not illness. if you tell yourself you have an illness when you dont, you are much more likely to become disappointed and maybe not try so hard, becasue you will think 'well this is me so why bother, i cant change the way i am' - not so - you have a very very bad habit, one that takes alot of pain, work and suffering to conquer - and one that if you take you eye off the ball for long enough, you will succumb to the habitual behaviour, that you indulge in becasue you belive that voice in your head that is avtually the main culprit of all of this. if you can listen to it without beliveing it you will have won the battle - i dont think it ever goes - but you can quieten it down and ignore it, and at times you forget that you have that voice inside of you atall.