medication phobia

[cornishmaid]

used to be obsessed with heart and all things related to it ,,was constantly checking blood pressure etc,pulse ,finally got over tht mostly,still have the odd few mad checking days ,but now my attention has turned to allergys and anaphalaxis, i had itchy hands months ago and a bit of hay fever ago,didnt do anything for about 8 weeks,then decided take loratadine 10 mg every day ,well what a performance that proved to be !!! after pacing the kitchen for about 20 mins i pluck up the courage to take the tablet then spend the next 30 mins waiting for some kinds reaction,i have taken the tabs every day now for the last 3 weeks,the thing is today i decided not to take the tabs,but this is how my mind works, if i take the tabs i might not have a bad allergic reaction to something,so now cos i havnt took it ill be on edge does this make sense to anyone

[Vanilla Sky]

It makes sense to me , you sound exactly what i USED to be like . I waited for allergic reactions to , that was my fear , i don't even know where it came from , but i guess it was all my anxiety looking for stuff to set me of again . You are stuck in that spiral i was in.
You will NOT have a reaction to the meds , not now , not anytime . That is your first step , the meds will begin to make you feel better . Have you had CBT ? Thats what i am having at the moment and i am now on my 6th session and things are making sense to me now . CBT " re trains " your thinking , you know that way your suspecting everything you touch or eat is going to make you allergic ? Well it allows you to think in a more rational way , hard work at first , but worth it i can tell you.
If i can do it , anyone can ! I went through a phase of thinking i could never be helped , but it's happened and i now feel more like the person i used to be . Still got a way t go yet but for the first time since this dreaded anxiety started , i am feeling positive again . And you will to , you just have to face up to it all and begin to move past it.
Take your tablets , do not listen to that part of your mind that is going on about allergic reactions , that is your anxiety looking for fearful things to keep it going, if you stop giving into it , it gets weaker and weaker . It's like stopping smoking , your still craving it and the addictive side is nagging away at you , go on go on have a cig . If you give into it then your back at square one and it will keep happening untill you are back smoking again . Anxiety is the same, it nags away at you keeping you in a fearful place , keeping you on high alert. Choose to ignore it and carry on with what you are doing , of course it will nag ... " you 'll have an allergic reaction " etc and it will even produce symptoms to make you believe it . tight throat , can't breath... very clever isn't it .. then you give in because its made you believe it , but you find out then that you did not have a reaction.... but you are still caught up in the fear . But remember NOTHING happened but panic, and you CAN control that.
You can beat it hun , take your meds and get well again... there is hope i promise you

Paige xx

[cornishmaid]

thank you for replying,i am on the waiting list for CBT, everything u say does make sense,,especially with the anxiety symptoms mocking an allergic reaction,i sit here and know that it will be ok to take tablets etc but when it comes to actually taking them im not so brave,,this has been a big knock back for me as i was almost over my ocd on checking my pulse and blood pressure,was fine for couple months then for some reason it diverted to allergys ,no idea why ,hope the CBT appointment comes up soon its been about 6 months now been on the list,thx again