Just need some company :(

[ILD87]

I'm finding everything so hard ...

Atleast 6years of my life wasted with anxiety and depression. That's just the begining. I feel so pushed away from people in my life, like they don't care ...

Ugh :( Usually I'd go to my boyfriend for support, but I've managed to push him away through my low self esteem, fear of abandonment etc.

[diane07]

Hi ILD87

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[am3ient]

hi there ild87 i know what your going through have panic dissorder and deppression 12 years now myself, my girlfreind left me the other day because of it, ive just about pushed everyone ive loved away, thats why im on here looking for advice and support. keep fighting im sure things will get better so they say

[ILD87]

Thank you :(

I'm currently being assessed by my psychiatrist to see what's going on. I know myself tbh ......

I've been using my self harm against my bf to stop him leaving :( I've been taking everything out on him. I couldn't hate myself more, I'm a monster.

I starve myself every day, and then binge eat every night ...

I cannot take people :( I can't handle people, all that I get from them is criticism .... I can't take it! I fly off the handle

And all of this, makes me hate myself more and more each day

[am3ient]

you have to understand that its not you that is the problem its your illness thats why you must fight it every inch of the way, i used to do insane things to stop people leaving me but that really isnt the solution, in fact it just makes it worse. life can be incredibly brutal sometimes and so can people, they just dont know how to cope with it yet we are the ones who have to live with the symptoms, you really have to fight for yourself and know that you are worth it as a person, i know its hard believe me, i feel like crap right now, and i thought i was doing ok! my now ex girlfreind obviously thought different, the more you fight for yourself the better you will feel inside

[ILD87]

I keep opening up (which is very hard for me) and it gets thrown back in my face :S Which makes it a million times harder to open up. Thank you for being so nice, it's really appreciated. I just need a mate right now I guess ... I really hope things are ok for you Cheers dude

[Baggs]

I hope that this site helps you as much as it's helped me. All the best. Baggs.

[calm]

my heart goes out ot you.....we are all here for each other .....morning, afternoon, evening and night time xxxxx you are not alone xxxx

[Blondie23]

Hiya i just read your post....First of all you are NOT alone....you should straight away find it comforting knowing how many members on this site share all of this in comman. Second of all i also have very low self asteem....i too am with someone and he sometimes has found things difficult....luckily for me i know what it is that is causing my low self asteem so am able to work towards fixing it.....can you pin point at all what it is that you dont like about your life/yourself????
If you would like a friend message me anytime i have some brilliant ways that i have found has cured many of my "negative" feelings and behavouir.
im sure you will get so much support from this site xxxx

[nixi]

I am fairly new to this site and it still blows me away that so many people feel the same as I do or have similar experiences. Everyone on here is always so nice as well, it really does help and I wish I had found it sooner. You are not alone ILD x