Petition: Separate chat room for sensitive issues

[Raindog]

Now I understand that NMP is primarily a site for anxiety but as we all know anxiety can take many forms and has many sources. With this in mind what I would like to propose is a new room alongside the main and help chat room where certain subjects, which are not allowed to be discussed under the current rules of chat, can be talked about and those having anxiety and associated depression from such problems can find support from those willing to offer it and talk about those subject that are currently taboo.

I myself don't suffer from any of the problems that the rules say are dissallowed from chat, but I know one or two people who are. They would greatly appreciate a room where they know they can go and talk to each other or others willing to discuss those problems as they come into NMP chat, sometimes with no other source of support late at night, and are told that they are unable to talk about those problems because of chat rules, even if nobody present in main chat at the time objects to that problem being talked about.

This room would need to be clearly marked with warnings to let members know that the room is specifically for discussing those taboo subjects, by going into this room you accept that you enter knowing that others will be discussing topics that may be distressing to some and so if they feel they think they will be made more anxious by the discussions in this room, they should not enter.

Other sites have such rooms or sections of the forums in place, and NMP is her to help people feeling desperate for many reasons, but some feel rejected and denied because they have nowhere to talk about their problems. Such an idea would give them a place in chat where they could be allowed to open up to others and be given some support.

Give them this room and make NMP that bit more useful to anxiety sufferers.

[janni]

Very good thread Raindog and I know that NoMorePanic is essentially for anxiety but like you say anxiety can and does come out in different ways and has many forms. Some people need more help and need to talk about things that isnt permitted in the main chat and I back your suggestion and hope that admin will consider it if it is possible. I have seen other sites with self harm rooms which have a subheading warning of topics may be triggering and if it workable maybe a second chat can be assembled for users who have used the site for a long time but yet still struggle with their issues and may find support from others going through the same feelings and experiences. This is an adult site and we are all responsible for what we look at and listen to/read in chat and if someone wasnt feeling good about a second chat room then theyneedn't go in. It's only an idea and a suggestion to help others who cant talk in main who we care about and try give them an avenue of help too.

[vicky23]

I think this seems like a sensible idea, the only potential problem could be that people here aren't equipped to help in those situations and there comes a situation where somebody in a desparate state thinks that this is a place where people are trained to help them and feel let down and rejected if they sit in this room alone for however long.
every new idea has it's good and bad points it's just weighing these up to see whether more good would come rather than bad I suppose

[Raindog]

Those are valid points Vicky and it would be nice for members to be given the chance to discuss them seriously. We have help at the moment, which some people have thought is manned all the time by someone just waiting to offer support and they've been a little let down when they've realised there isn't someone there just ready to assist.

We can't have trained admins ready to offer counselling or professional assistance, but the idea behind this proposal is to simply provide a room away from the general chat room where it isn't taboo to discuss the more difficult topics. What inspired this post was a particular member who was in the main chat room last night and really needed to talk to someone about their problem, even just to vent a little and get things off their chest. There were several of us willing to talk to this member and wouldn't have suffered any problems from listening to their problems, but due to the restrictions placed on the chat room to protect the more vulnerable, there were no options available to us, even Help is out of bounds for such things, and so we had to deny this member the chance to talk and let us offer whatever support we could simply by listening.

This room would allow such members to ask if anyone would mind chatting with them for a while and give them a place where they could perhaps talk to others with the same or similar problems and, like may of us do, realize that they aren't alone in their feelings, something which can help immensely.

[diane07]

We are always open to suggestions here at NMP, especially if it helps our members, however, the main concern we would have is we couldn't possibly have this room moderated, our moderators have a hard job at times running Chat as it is, it's not an easy job and does come with its problems.

The one thing i can suggest is, if you can send me a link to the other sites with these other chat rooms on, we can then speak to the administrator there and find out the pro's and cons of having another room.

We will certainly look into it and see if it will be beneficial to NMP and its members.

di.

[Raindog]

Will do, I'm gathering them from other members who know these sites, NMP is really the only site I have used. I'll send you a link when I have a few more.

As an added note, if anyone has suggestions for sites that have self harm sections to the forum and chat room, would you be so kind as to pm me a link, thanks

[gypsywomen]

sounds a good idea

[weeble40]

sorry but dont agree with this at all,

I have a few reasons

1, who would moderate this

2, what if someone talking about a taboo subject went on to take there own life, were would the blame lie, who would bear the guilt

3, how? if anyone was thinking of taking there own life, would you talk them out of it,

as you say there is already websites dealing with such matters, and indeed already have chat rooms equipped to deal with such, in my opinion, they should be directed to such sites, no one on this site is medically minded or trained to deal with such matters,

if anyone wanting to talk taboo subjects, why cant you just use MSN or some other form of chat,

NMP is first and foremost a site dealing with anciety and depression, lets keep it that way


Emms

[SueBee]

As a chat room moderator, I just thought I'd add my view.

People who are affected by SH are generally in need of immediate critical care and support. Opening another room specifically for this kind of support would mean that it would have to be manned 24/7 and I'm sure that no one is either able or willing to provide that kind of commitment in their own time - its neither practical or fair. Also you run the risk, were it to be advertised as offering such a service, finding the scenario of either there being no one willing to help or there being no one in chat.

I am not affected by SH, I do not find it triggering so many times in the past I've taken people in to PM to offer support without possibly triggering anyone else in chat. I'm sure anyone in chat at the time could take this avenue if there was anyone in immediate need of help and if they felt able. I'm sure admin will correct me if this isnt the correct procedure

I would advise anyone affected by these issues to contact the samaritans in the first instance, either by phone or email - 08457 90 90 90.

Sue

[jen2503]

I want to say something, hope thats ok.

I am an ex self harmer. i have relapsed and i have helped others during a session in chat. yes talking to someone about it can trigger it for someone else. but personally i would rather help someone else and maybe relapse slightly than not help someone and hear later that they have seriously hurt themselves. that may just be me, being daft but i tend to put others first. but that means i can see why the mods (last two posters) dont like the idea, it would be very much hard work for the mods and it could be very concerning but then again it could be very rewarding. if there was a way to make it safe for all users and practical for mods to moderate then i think its a great idea. but like i say it can be a great thing, but can also be a very dangerous idea.

dont get me wrong, i would love for it to be possible and when i go in chat i always talk to people in pm if they need support, there are occasions where i dont feel strong enough to talk to them at that time but there is always someone there to take over.

it would be wonderful and a great help to sh'ers. sometimes we just need to talk and say out loud why we want to or are doin g it and you cant say anything in the main chat. personally i feel the most dangrous thing for a self harmer, is not being able to talk, not because they dont want to, but because they arent allowed.

so to sum it up, my post hasnt been very helpful lol sorry!! if it could work, it could be great.