I constantly think theres something wrong with my heart

[zoe-22]

hi everone im new to this im just looking for abit of support, my mam passed away in march of a suddern heart attack i was with her when it happened she was only 64, a week before it happened i phoned the doctor because my mam was unwell and they told her she had a heart murmur but it was nothing to worry about and that her symptoms were due to her nerves as she had suffered with them since her teens. About 5 week after it happened i had my first panic attack and its just got out of control from there.im 22 and before all this was quite healthy, no i live my life day by day as a have a constant fear im going to die the same way i have had chest pain, headaches, constant palpitation, shaking, breathing problems, weakness and numbness in my arms and legs and they are just the main daily symptoms i have, i have been to m docs and to a&e on many of occasion had 5 ECG, x-rays, blood test all come back normal they all send me on my way telling me it anxiety, i of course dont believe them because of what happened with my mam and keep thinking theres something seriously wrong with me, something that they are missing, when i tell them this they say your that im to young and my test are all fine. Im now on Trazadone hydrochloride and diazepam, both just make me sleepy but dont really help, i feel the docs dont listen any more and i feel they just laugh at me know. this is ruining my life i have had to give up work and cant leave my home because of my fear. my partner is really good and my family are to but they are grieving my mam and dont need the added stress of me so i feel ashamed to go to them. can an 1 relate to how bad i feel or any suggestion on ways i can try and make my self feel better? please help

[wendy28]

Hi zoe i can totally understand where your coming from,my mums had 3 heart attacks and so have both my brothers.I constantly worry to i suffer the same symptoms as you do and feel the doctors dont listen.They say i have health anxiety and panic but i know how scary it is,i feel like im just waiting.Feel free to pm if you like.x

[zoe-22]

hi wendy
thanks for the reply its nice to know im not the only one feeling like this my partner even though hes really good doesn't really understand and neither do my friends even though most of them dont know, they just think im being "funny" with them. it horrible i just dont know where to turn, i feel like im losing my mind slowly

[wendy28]

I know my husbands great to but you feel like your own your own dont you?Im 32 and have a really strong family history of heart disease,i am sorry about your mum.
The doctors take my blood pressure and im on choelestral tablets but they say theres no other tests.Im just trying to take it day by day my mum was 58 when she had her first attack my brothers were 43 and 39,they say as a women your more protected untill after the menopause supposedly.Your not going mad its just something thats hard for everyone else to understand i learnt that.xx

[zoe-22]

you dont know how much it means to me to find some one that understands what it feels like. im sorry to hear that your mam and brothers has had heart attacks must be really scary for you. i suppose the only thing you can do is just keep a check on your health, doctors dont seem to be much use when we feel like this unless they have been there them selves, its as if they haven't got time for us, i have asked for more test, like 24 monitoring of the heart and a stress test just for reassurance but they tell me because of my age they are unlikely to show anything, more like they dont want the hassle . Anxiety and panic disorder runs in my family my brother had it before he passed away with heart failure at 34, my sister has it and so did my mam, i just thought it would never happen to me and find it hard to swallow, i suppose we just got to keep our heads up and hope for the best. if i can be of any help mail me x x thank you

[smpomeroy]

Zoe,
I do understand how you feel, I was only at a cardiology appointment at the hospital last week and was told that everything is fine but it doesnt stop me panicing. I have been this was since I was 19 and IM now 37 so its beena long time. I think that you do need to get some counselling hopwever because ti seems obvious that it was triggered by what happened to your mum and so you are not only coiping with the fear of the same thing happening to you but also the grief and loss of your mum which is one of the hardest most stressful things for anyone to cope with. Im no expert phychologist or anything but IM sure some sort of grief counselling combined with some cognitive behavioural therapy would do you the world of good. Do it now though before you end up thinking negative thought patters for years and years as it will be easier to retrain your thought processes becasue they wont be so ingrained and second nature to you.

If you want to talk at all then feel free to pm me but beweare IM only on here a few times a week so you want always get an immediate response.

take care and good luck

Suz

[zoe-22]

hi suz
thank you very much im trying to get counselling im on a waiting list at the moment tho things have been very hard and i just feel that im getting nowhere. my goodness you have been waiting a long time i dont know how you managed for so long my doctor wont even refer me to a cardiologist hes says im to young for anything like that to be wrong but it would just give me piece of mind. im glad everything is ok with you tho, it easy for every one else to say your fine theres nothing wrong, but when you feel this way it not easy to take that information in. thanks you very much for the advice x

[Ella_Jayne]

I can relate to this a lot. I have the same anxieties about my heart, I'm almost 22 and this has been going on almost a year. It started when I heard someone my age just dropped dead from a heart attack, I was at home one day alone and had a major panic attack, but at the time I had no idea what was going on, I thought I was dying. Then I started obsessing about heart problems and couldn't be alone... EVER. My boyfriend even had to quit his job to be with me because at the time I didn't live in the same country as my family, friends didn't understand so without him I was alone.

I started developing symptoms of dizziness, numbness, headaches, feeling like I was in a dream, I was even too scared to sleep incase I didn't wake up. I was at A&E every other night/day as I was convinced evertime my heart raced or skipped a beat that I was going to drop dead.

Even after having over 30 ECG's, Holters, bloods, ECHO's etc, I was still convinced that my heart was a ticking time bomb. Then... I started CBT, I started to see the negative ways that I was thinking and how these were leading to symptoms and feelings of impending doom. It took 2 batches of CBT for it to start working but now I feel so much better. Even though I'm not completely better yet I can handle things a lot better now.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mam, I know you must be going through hell at the moment. I can only suggest that when you feel ready to get some CBT. It has helped me quite a bit and will no doubt help you. You have been checked out now hun and nothing is wrong with your heart, I know it's hard to accept but you have to accept it in order to start getting better. The symptoms you have are due to anxiety, I've had all of them.

Take care

[zoe-22]

mine came out of the blue too, i was on my own and thought i was dying, my boyfriend has had alot of time off but thank god his work are really understanding. I have major issue with sleep i get about 2-3 hours a nite if im lucky because im afraid i wont wake up too my problem is that i can constantly feel my heartbeat especially when i lye down so i spend most night sitting up waiting for the sun to come up. Im trying to get help but im wait for them to get back to me, just wish they would hury up if i had the money i would pay private but i have had to give up my job.
thank you things are very hard at the moment and this is something i dont need i have had to have my dad move in with me as he no spring chicken bless him he has health issues and is find it hard with out my mam and he really doesnt need my stresses on top of everything else. im very grateful for the support thank you

[*clare*]

After reading your post i can totally understand you. Only difference being, know one in my family has had a heart attack. I'm 28 and i suffered a panic attack from know where about 6 years ago then became convinced something was wrong with my heart, especially when i started suffering with ectopic beats. I've had 3 heart scans, tons of ECG's, blood tests, all to be normal. I'm still not fully convinced. I have felt in the past that dr's have laughed at me and thought i was being silly but to me i was terrified and felt i was suffering every day with the fear that i'll die. I've come to terms with things a little more now over time but i recently started suffering panic attacks in the night which has knocked me back down again. I ended up in a&e twice. I take every day at a time. Some days are better than others. I think i know deep down that nothings wrong but i can't stop that niggling doubt that maybe they missed something. I'm always checking my pulse looking for signs.....of what, i don't know, it's more habbit now i guess.
I've read up alot on this sort of thing and after the loss of your mum in that way its only natural it's going to have you worried for yourself but its how that worry manifests itself within you thats when the problems start as you well know. It's kinda haed to put down in words how i feel about things but not a day goes by for me where i don't think about my heart beating adn what if it stops ect. We just need to learn to not think about the 'what if's', easier said than done ofcourse and be reassured by all the normal test results. One thing i've found helpful is to do breathing exercises. Even when your not anxious, practice, breath in for 4 and out several times. Learning to control breathing can really help with panic attacks. It's something i've just started doing recently.
I really hope things get better for you. And remember, your not alone in this, and maybe realising there are many others like you may help in the road to recovery.

Take car, clare x