5 to 10mg Cipralex

[MarlaJ]

Well after a rough start (understatement of the decade) at 10 mg, then 9 days at 5 mg, I am on day 3 of the 10mg again. God help me! side effects back, but no quite as bad as the first few days of hell. I am somewhat functional, as opposed to glued to my bed.

Started my day today with raging panic attack at 5 am. The worst I have had in a very long time. Nasty bout of depersonalization/derealization, actually thought the screws had come completely undone. 1mg lorazapam later, not great, but able to move through the day.

The day feels like it has a fog around it. Not thinking to clearly, feel ill, my body is very heavy, and I am not eating well. Life in slow motion, the smallest chore feels like climbing a mountain. Yuck. I am one of the blessed few who doesn't suffer insomnia, but I rather feel like I am slipping into a coma.

Is it possible for this nasty stuff to cause depression? I am taking it for anxiety.....but I sure feel low. How is it even possible to be too low and to wound up at the same time??????

11 more days to hit that magic 2 week mark. I could probably just sleep till then

Thanks for letting me have my pity party.

[Micko]

Bloody hell Marla! I've not even re-started taking it I've started to wean off Mirtazapine from 45mg to 30mg for this week then I start taking Cip next Tues 5mg as well as 15mg of Mirtazapine at night for a week at the mo am taking half 0.5mg of Clonazepam so bloody anxious at mo can't function I'm in bits god I hope when I go back on Cip I start to feel a bit better can't take much more it's agony! can hardly go out! think shrink has done it this way to reduce the side effects of the Cip thought they were doin' you good? oh week after up to 10mg of Cip then prob up to max of 20mg x

[MarlaJ]

Bloody hell is right, but guess what? I am still here. And today, better than yesterday. No panic this morning. Not feeling to shabby. Not great, but not as bad either. And tomorrow I will be better than today, and I will keep going..... If it worked for me once, it will work for me again. Right now I don't feel great, but I know it is the medication, and I know that it will get better. I helps to just journal the journey so to speak! Hang in the my friend, it will work for you too

[Micko]

Praying it will Marla just spoken to my shrink she said it's gonna be a rough week or 2 wish I'd never stopped them abruptly even after stopped drinkin just because I felt ok convinced I would'nt have done what I did and would have 2 bloody hands if it just gives me some respite and courage that will do me! so rough today so shaky but I guess my hand does'nt help! just was so used to rolling fags, decoratin, buttoning up shirt etc but once I actually start back on the Cip next Tues they will work when I was taking them for years like I said drank with em' but they kept me on em' in detox just wish I'd stayed on em' or weaned myself off my GP did'nt even know I'd stopped em' suddenly she put me back on then I stopped em' again trying to make myself sick then changed to others then back on em' my shrink insisted I stay on em' this time just so scared of the side-effects and that they won't work? I know they won't give me my hand back but at least if they help this awful anxiety and depression thanks Marla wish I had your courage! x

[MarlaJ]

Well, day 4. Bit of a shaky start this morning, but by lunch time it starts to lift a little. Not bad really. I think staying busy helps, gives me less time to ponder how I am feeling. I too was (am) scared of the side effects, and also that they won't work. But then I kick my own but, and remind myself that if they worked before, they will work again, and that the side effects won't last. I am so desperate to get my life back, there are really no side effects that I can't cope with. I know that they will pass, and I know that the pay off is worth it. But when the anxiety starts talking, it is very hard not to listen Even now, I know that it is getting just a little easier each day. It sure has been a tough battle, but I am winning. Micko, you have far more courage than you give yourself credit for. You have been through a whole lot more than I have, and you are still fighting. Yes, these next few days are going to be hell for you, but what have you got to lose? I think it is a good idea for you to increase the dose the way the doc has set it up for you. I wouldn't want to go through the "sudden impact" of starting at 10 mg ever again. This way may take longer, but it certainly hasn't been as terrifying! I have no experience with the other drugs that you are taking, but I'm sure that the weaning off part won't be pleasant. Hang in there, it will only get better.

[MarlaJ]

Hello day 5. Yuck. Woke up looking for signs that I shouldn't get out of bed. Not a great way to start the day, because when I look for trouble I always find it. Tummy yucky, is that the meds, or some terrible illness? Must be terrible illness. Is that a pain in my neck? Oh God it is, great, now I have broken my neck in my sleep, probably wind up in a wheel chair by lunch time. I'm dizzy too. and talking to myself. No, not just talking, but having a two way argument in my head. That is it, I am finally bonkers. But, for some strange reason, I don't feel nearly as wound up about all of this as I should. I think there is hope! I don't feel anywhere near normal, I certainly am not singing and dancing, but I don't feel quite as wired as I normally do in the morning.

I am more accepting of the idea that this day will go on, I will feel better and better. I have an appt with the good doctor today. I hate this above all else about today. Hate having to sit under the watchful eye of She Who Keeps The Appointment Calendar. Hate having to say hello to the doc. Hate having to explain how I'm feeling. Hate that he will say this is all normal. This isn't normal, but I want to be back to normal so I will do all of this, and I will keep doing all of this until I get BACK TO NORMAL.

Strange day really, feel like I am in an Inbetween Land. Not crawling out of my skin, but still kind of a black day. I'll take it, it beats the heck out of some of the other days! Can't wait for the sun to shine again

[Deva]

Hi Marla

Just started on Cip myself. Up to 10mgs now after a week and a half on 5mgs. Can really relate to how you're feeling. Still feel yuck with side effects but sort of don't care, if that makes sense.

Best wishes, Deva

[MarlaJ]

LOL, I wish it didn't make sense, but I understand only too well!

[MarlaJ]

Right, made it to the doctor. Sooo, how do you feel....Welllll how long do you have????? I could fill 3 appointments just describing how I have been feeling He asked me if I want to stay the course or try something different. I have opted to continue on, I think it is too early to give it up. Don't want to have to start back at square one with something different. That is also his advice. He gave me two more weeks of Cipralex. BUT- and there must always be a but - He is now going away for the rest of the summer. (How dare he have a life lol.) So that I don't have to come in to see a doc who doesn't know me, he has given me a fork in the road. At the end of two weeks I can either fill a prescription for another month's supply of Cip (option 1 of course meaning that all is well, and I am getting on ok, side effects going away, anxiety back in line) or Option2, if I am not progressing well, I now have a two week supply of Pristiq desvenalfaxine that I can switch right over to.

WTF???I am not so good with the whole decision making thing right now. Can scarcely decide what to do in a day or what is for dinner tonight, and now I get to fret over what medication to take?????? AGHHHHHH!

For now I think I will put the new tablets somewhere far away. (My mind is so scattered I may never find them again. It will be like hiding my own easter eggs) I will forget about them for the next 2 weeks, and hope that I don't have to make that choice!

[Micko]

I thought you were doing ok on Cip Marla? god I feel worse today just took half a 0.5 tab of clonazepam def feeling worse since reducing/weaning off mirtazapine from 45mg to 30mg and reducin clonaz dont think I can make it till Tues finish clonaz then and start taking 5mg of Cip alongside last week of 15mg of mirtazapine all this and gotta wait till the cip kick in (if they bloody do) god knows what I'm gonna do if they don't help me Marla I'm in a right state at mo bloody hell it's a nightmare wake up dry mouth, shaking like a bloody leaf can't bear to speak to or see anyone please advise Marla