Maybe Our Culture is partially to blame?

[Lencoboy]

Several episodes? The MAJORITY goes on behind closed doors. There are many men (and women) walking around out there who, by rights, should be locked up for abusing their partners/spouses.

In one year, (2020) it's estimated that 1.6 million women suffered domestic abuse. That's more than a 'few episodes'.

As for the 'authorities'...

The police, who consistently ignore women's pleas for help and in too many cases, 'help' and 'belief' comes too late.

Same for vulnerable children. Kids die, and then the people in 'authority' are forced to pull their finger out and do their jobs for a bit until complacency sets in again and there's another tragedy which could have been avoided had they done their jobs properly.

The problem is that many of us for many years now have had the 'it's someone else's problem' and 'I've got far more important things to be concerned about', coupled with our general lack of faith in the police and the authorities in general, of which largely comes down to the 'caught napping' syndrome, which has gone on for years now.

In fact, many children and vulnerable adults have almost always been on the receiving end of 'victim-blaming' and being told the same old same old excuses time and time again, such as 'they were probably asking for it', 'they probably pushed their parents/carers/partners/spouses/siblings to it', 'a bloody good hiding never did past generations any harm', etc.

And a lot of the campaign adverts, PIFs, etc on TV; many people eventually just switch off from them, especially as they often feel powerless to do much about many of the issues covered being conveyed to us, plus also having a tendency to suffer from so-called 'compassion fatigue'.

But the authorities will still no doubt always be more than willing to gleefully woe betide us Auties for stimming and having meltdowns in public, issue us with ASBOs and put the fear of God into us with endless lectures about 'zero tolerance' and generally treat us like we're the bane of their lives, while still often ignoring the 'real' menaces to society and repeatedly letting them off scot-free!

[NoraB]

In fact, many children and vulnerable adults have almost always been on the receiving end of 'victim-blaming' and being told the same old same old excuses time and time again, such as 'they were probably asking for it', 'they probably pushed their parents/carers/partners/spouses/siblings to it', 'a bloody good hiding never did past generations any harm', etc.

The fault lies with the abuser. It's their issues and shortcomings which cause them to abuse other people.

I didn't 'push' anybody to abuse me. Nor did I 'ask for it'.

But the authorities will still no doubt always be more than willing to gleefully woe betide us Auties for stimming and having meltdowns in public, issue us with ASBOs and put the fear of God into us with endless lectures about 'zero tolerance' and generally treat us like we're the bane of their lives, while still often ignoring the 'real' menaces to society and repeatedly letting them off scot-free!

An autistic meltdown is loss of control due to extreme distress. The last thing a distressed autistic needs is to be screamed at, handcuffed, and thrown into the back of a police car, but if the autism training isn't there, then the understanding won't be there.

Supporting autistic people in police custody (autism.org.uk)

[Lencoboy]

The fault lies with the abuser. It's their issues and shortcomings which cause them to abuse other people.

I didn't 'push' anybody to abuse me. Nor did I 'ask for it'.



An autistic meltdown is loss of control due to extreme distress. The last thing a distressed autistic needs is to be screamed at, handcuffed, and thrown into the back of a police car, but if the autism training isn't there, then the understanding won't be there.

Supporting autistic people in police custody (autism.org.uk)

I agree with you 100% Nora.

The real issue IMO is the chronic lack of accountability, 'blame' culture, and the fact that many people stubbornly refuse to change their ways and move with the times.

Even long before all the cutbacks of the past decade or so, and back when there was supposedly more funding available for professions like the police, SS, NHS, education, etc, a certain proportion of individuals who worked in those professions seemed unwilling to get their sh1t together and endlessly seemed to come up with excuse after excuse, plus there were also quite a few that were lazy and seemingly paid to sit around doing very little while inadvertently bringing down many of the 'genuine' hard-working individuals that many of whom have sadly quit many of such professions in their droves over the past 20-odd years, particularly as a result of the serial 'nappers' and time-wasters, coupled with being chronically overworked, underpaid, and often undervalued by the system and society in general. I've read that amongst some of the worst offenders are certain school head teachers and governors who have been known to deny that bullying even happens in their schools in order to appease OFSTED, then punishing the victims of bullying while often ignoring the perpetrators and letting them off scot-free time and time again. And that's been going on for eons now.

It also makes my blood boil when certain people still admit to believing that autism is a condition that's been largely 'invented' over the past 30-odd years or so in order to justify inappropriate behaviours and lazy parenting in their opinions. Totally wrong; we just weren't acknowledged by wider society in the past to the extent we are now, especially before the 90s, and often 'covered up' or 'hidden' in some form or another.

[NoraB]

It also makes my blood boil when certain people still admit to believing that autism is a condition that's been largely 'invented' over the past 30-odd years or so

Autism's always been here. Except that the autistics of 100,000 years ago were not treated like shite or shunned; they were respected for their unique abilities and for their fundamental part in human evolution.

https://neurosciencenews.com/autism-evolution-5527/

Diversity=human success (Rue on that, haters)

[Lencoboy]

BTW Nora, thanks for that link to the NAS site a couple of posts upthread. It's got some interesting and useful articles on it in general, as well as the specific article you linked above.

[NoraB]

You're welcome.

[Lencoboy]

I recall having a conversation with another male client at my day centre on the day of our Christmas dinner in December (who doesn't normally attend on the same days as me) and he was telling me that he believes that the NAS are a corrupt organisation, similar to the FM whose username was 'Ponder' (now barred from this forum) also seemed to imply last year.

That particular client is very opinionated, has very right-wing (especially pro-Brexit) and often racist views, and says he hates Burton because it's the Punjab now and not Burton anymore, despite him being about 7 years younger than me. I pointed out to him that the local Asian population in the area have pretty much always existed throughout his entire lifetime of residing there, nor have they knowingly affected him personally in any detrimental way.

I reckon that person has probably been reading far too much dubious stuff online, especially on social media. Plus I don't personally think Burton (for better or worse) is anything remotely like the Punjab, just a historically industrial town that happens to have a few (generally harmless) ethnic minority individuals residing there, with a few community facilities tailored to their needs. Nor can I normally sense any significant tensions in the air in said area, otherwise I probably wouldn't be attending a day centre there myself.

[Lencoboy]

I recall having a conversation with another male client at my day centre on the day of our Christmas dinner in December (who doesn't normally attend on the same days as me) and he was telling me that he believes that the NAS are a corrupt organisation, similar to the FM whose username was 'Ponder' (now barred from this forum) also seemed to imply last year.

That particular client is very opinionated, has very right-wing (especially pro-Brexit) and often racist views, and says he hates Burton because it's the Punjab now and not Burton anymore, despite him being about 7 years younger than me. I pointed out to him that the local Asian population in the area have pretty much always existed throughout his entire lifetime of residing there, nor have they knowingly affected him personally in any detrimental way.

I reckon that person has probably been reading far too much dubious stuff online, especially on social media. Plus I don't personally think Burton (for better or worse) is anything remotely like the Punjab, just a historically industrial town that happens to have a few (generally harmless) ethnic minority individuals residing there, with a few community facilities tailored to their needs. Nor can I normally sense any significant tensions in the air in said area, otherwise I probably wouldn't be attending a day centre there myself.

This was just one of my random musings of yesterday BTW.

Possibly because I'm meant to be returning to my day centre tomorrow (3rd Jan), but that particular client I was referring to yesterday won't be there as he doesn't normally attend on the same days as me.

[pulisa]

That's a good job, Lenco. I'm sure he must wind you up so best to avoid having these types of conversation with him if you happen to see him anytime soon?

[Lencoboy]

That's a good job, Lenco. I'm sure he must wind you up so best to avoid having these types of conversation with him if you happen to see him anytime soon?

Definitely.

Despite having a similar condition to me, he comes across as a bit of an ill-informed, attention-seeking, 'know-it-all' rabble-rouser who's stuck in some kind of 90s timewarp (he was born sometime around the mid 80s), but generally for the wrong reasons in the case of the BIB.

In the case of the above BIB, he has often been known to boast about his harsh hard-line treatments he was on the receiving end of as a child for his Autie-related behaviours by his parents, school teachers, etc, such as being smacked (by his parents) and severely punished (by both his parents and teachers) for the slightest stims and other behaviours often regarded by neurotypicals as 'inappropriate', boasting it 'never did him any harm' and it 'taught him to behave properly'. He thinks people get away with far too much these days and also believes the 'zero tolerance' of the 90s and 2000s should be brought back, which I don't think actually ever went away overall, but rather pursued differently over the past decade or so (and more typically as an absolute last resort rather than willy-nilly), and generally for the better.

I'm sorry, but times have moved on since that client in question's childhood and school days, even though there will still always be the odd 'bad apples' in society who still remain set in their ways and believe that persons with LDs should be 'seen and not heard', but on the other hand the staff at my day centre said that those radical views, beliefs and opinions of that particular client are still his choice as it's still a free country, even though they may not exactly agree with a lot of what that client believes in.

I suppose it's a typical 'grey area' and 'fine line' between full freedom of expression/opinion and censorship/silencing of opinions, though the former, whilst the most desirable in most cases, ultimately carries responsibilities at the same time.

But nevertheless, simply 'chastising' the autism out of affected individuals is just plain wrong, especially in these more enlightened times of the 21st Century. Such things ultimately deserve to be left in the past where they belong.