Needle phobia
Hi,
My name's Harriet and I live in Bury St Edmunds in Suffok. I've called this needle phobia, but really its anything that breaks the skin I can't stand. I can't watch anything on TV involving injections or scalpels cutting skin, even tattoos. Yet show me open surgery and I'm fine, so its not a blood/gore issue. Its not the pain either, I've had injections before and know they don't hurt that much. And there's the weird thing - all my school injections and vaccinations when I was a kid were fine, I had no trouble. So it must be a fairly recent thing, I don't know exactly when it started but it must be less than 10 years ago.
I've never really been that bothered by it as its never called me too much trouble (apart from having to cover my eyes when things come on TV!) but 3 days ago I was told I needed a blood test. My heart started to race and I was almost crying, even though I knew she wasn't going to do it then and there. I went to the pathology department and stood outside for about 10 minutes trying to get the courage up to go in. I contemplated leaving several times whilst in the waiting room, but stuck with it. When they called my number my heart was pounding. The poor girl trying to take the blood was really nice, tried to keep me calm, but every time she went near my arm with the needle I had to pull away. My heart was pounding in my chest, I was hyperventilating, I even started to cry involuntarily. I knew it needed to be done but I just couldn't. I tried again today, went to my doctor who (I've been told) is very good at taking blood, very gentle. I sat in the chair, did some deep breathing, had my ipod in to distract me - but as soon as I felt the needle on my arm I panicked. I was in tears in his office and try as I might I couldn't bring myself to let him do it. He was so understanding, and he prescribed me some diazepam to take on Monday when I'm going to try again. I'm going to ask them for some cream to numb my arm too so I won't feel the needle. I'm actually getting a little panicky just writing this!
I don't know if its just me, but I've found people to be very dismissive and not really take it seriously. My mum tries to be supportive but she just keeps telling me that it doesn't hurt, which isn't the issue. My boyfriend practically had a go at me for not having the test this afternoon, and when I told him about the diazepam he actually got quite stroppy! When I went to the pharmacy to pick up the tablets the girl behind the counter said "Oh I'm the same, I'm scared of needles. Last time I had a blood test the woman had to try 6 times and I was in there for ages". Yeah, you might not like needles love, but you actually had the test done, you can't be that scared. I just feel that no-one's taking it seriously, that they think I'm just being a wimp. It would just be nice to have someone say "Yes, I know exactly what you mean, its horrible. Here's hw you can help".
Sorry for the length of this post, had to get it off my chest!!
Thanks for reading it (if anyone has!)
H x
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