Thoughts on meds v non meds debate?

[Gordon64]

Suzanna, Rooby and SickofIt

Thank you all for your replies-I am being referred to a psychiatrist-I know now I need help with this.

Suz- won't go into detail but your post summed up EXACTLY where I am on the whole meds issue-but at the moment my depression and in particular anxiety are crippling and ruining my life-I have got back into the old ways of putting off time with kids and being off work. So I know I have to do something which is why I am on day 3 of 5mg Cipralex-cannot pretend I am happy about it but the alternative for me right now is unthinkable. I constantly self-analyse and as I have said before on previous posts while this is a good thing up to a point it can be a double edged sword. Right now I am looking for side effects that may or may not appear but am keeping myself going by remembering that I got back on track before and I can again.

Rooby and SickofIt- what you said re your own kids moved me a great deal-I am fortunate that although divorced I see them regularly and they have no serious health issues. You are quite right it is for my family I must do this and I feel now if I don't accept help (medical or otherwise) then I could go under big style with all that entails. I simply won't let that happen to me or my children.

And thank you all 3 of you-I will try to get over any "shame" and take the view that we all have choices and we must deal with this illness in whatever way is best for us.

Thanks again

Gordon

[ElizabethJane]

Hello Gordon. I am coming into this debate at the end as I have been away on holiday. I don't know you at all but I believe that from your posts that you are a fighter. Fighting isn't always enough with depression and we 'need' to take anti depressants. You wont be on them forever but in a few weeks time you will begin to feel better be more able to cope with the things that you need to do. I'm here if you need me. You can PM me if you like. I have had a bad time with primarily severe depressive illlness. I am well and stable at the moment. For years I did not understand that I had depression and it kept coming back and worse than the last time. How would I ever recover? I did recover. I found the resources within myself to get well. Music has helped me. I have some very good friends and good support on nmp. I'm not dismissing therapy. I still have hypnosis and see Dr J my psychiatrist but I'm done with psychotherapy and CBT for now anyway. I know that my views are not the views of the majority of people on nmp but my problems were always more about depression and less about anxiety although I have had my fair share of that. I was told that I needed to be on lithium. I wasn't really a choice that or go into hospital or lose my son. Lithium has been a lifesaver for me. It was not something that I asked to go on. Now I am far more proactive about any change in my treatment. I hope that these first few days on cipralex will be alright for you Gordon and I hope that you start feeling better soon. EJ.

[Gordon64]

Hi EJ

Good to hear from you.

I agree with what you say about the "fighter" bit-I am a fighter and view depression/anxiety as a battle I must win but have reluctantly accepted I am going to need some help. I have been taking my Cipralex-so far it has made me even more on edge than I was but this afternoon I actually felt quite calm so am clinging to that feeling. I accept meds for now-as you may know I am being referred to a psychiatrist also-and am now prepared to take on board anything that helps me out of this dark place.

Does that mean I will stop trying to find the answers myself? Probably not, but for now I am prepared to accept I can't do it all on my own.

Nice to hear from you again EJ and hope you are doing ok.

G

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Gordon I'm doing just fine at the moment. I have just returned to work after two weeks leave one week spent in North Norfolk. I was sorry to read your post. Am I right in believing that you have resigned from your job or thinking about it? If you are off sick them it might give you some breathing space to decide whast to do with your future? I am a great believer in the fact that we have the capacity to get ourselves well again. This might mean seeing a psychiatrist taking anti ds or having therapy. Sometimes for me it mean't a spell in hospital. The most important thing was that I came through it and you will too. I do believe in a God and that faith has helped me through some very dark times when I have contemplated taking my ... ....Music has been a great healer and these days I have many friends who would forcibly drag me out of a dark place. Dear Gordon you cannot help how you feel but things will get better and slowly you will begin to feel well again. I'm not sure what else to say. I'm on here most days so you know where to find me. EJ.

[Gordon64]

Hi EJ

Haven't resigned from the job or been sacked but I am under no illusions about the fact that things are reaching the point where something might give. I am keeping in touch with my workplace and trying to be as honest as possible with them in the hope I might get some breathing space.

I am better in at work than stuck in the house and am hoping that in a fortnight's time when my latest line is up and the meds have kicked in a bit more that I may be able to return as losing my job would be a major stress for me at a time I don't need it.

I accept I need meds just now and am taking my Cipralex as prescribed so can only hope it does the trick-once I am stronger is the time for me to be looking at what I am doing with my life and any changes I can make. And yes one day I hope to be able to function without meds but am not even thinking about that just now.

A difficult time but I remain optimistic I can come through this.

Thanks for caring EJ-it means a lot and hope you are doing well.

Gordon

[heavenly]

I have been suffering for just over 2 months, was put on Olanzapine, the lowest dose 1 x 2.5mg. They are working for me, but I feel drowsy, find it hard to concentrate at work and have put on weight. I accept these side effects at the mo, but do want to come off meds at some point. I am having counselling to get to the bottom of why this has happened to me, it is being a great help, I am taking specific vitamins for the nervous system, am doing yoga, have given up smoking and am a caffeine free zone. I hope, in time, that I can come off the meds as I am doing everything I can to get better as I do want to be med free at some point.

Hope you feel better soon.