Chatroom and Social Skills-Still Not Working

[shyoldguy]

Several weeks ago I thought that I was now 40 I should really sort my life out. I needed to improve social skills and get a life. As a start I thought I would try the chatroom.

Yes, I know I’ve posted this before. The trouble is I still can’t find a way into the conversation, which is exactly how it is for me in real life. People say just come into the chatroom regularly and it will become easier. Again this is exactly what people say I should be doing in real life and I find it very hard to motivate myself to do it.

People do things that are hard because they find some kind of enjoyment in them and think there is ultimately some sort of point in it. For me socialising is like being at school and a maths teacher telling you to practice doing algebra even though you hate it and it seems pointless, because eventually you will need maths to go to university and get a good career etc etc.

This is no reflection on the people in the chatroom or their behaviour. This is my problem. But for me socialising in general and being in the chatroom in particular is too much like doing algebra. It’s boring and it’s hard work. When I get in from work I’m tired and I really want an escape from people.

Maybe at some point I get it and it all becomes easy. Trouble is I don’t really believe that. I need to find some way of making this process less like hard work and more fun. Any suggestions?

[Vixxy]

Maybe set yourself bite size challenges. For instance you could just log in and ask how everyones day has been? or whats the weather like? Then once you have you answer log out and relax for the evening. Then you can work up a little futher into more in depth questions, for instance "does anyone here do any gardening?" etc.

[GlasgowGuy]

Maybe set yourself bite size challenges. For instance you could just log in and ask how everyones day has been? or whats the weather like? Then once you have you answer log out and relax for the evening. Then you can work up a little futher into more in depth questions, for instance "does anyone here do any gardening?" etc.

That's a good idea. Just take baby steps. Getting better aint a sprint. I'm still learning that but it's true.

I started using the chatroom today and enjoyed it. If we are on at same time say hello or even send me a private message. We can talk about the weather, the tv, music, films, sport. Any hobbies we have.

Take care and God Bless