The doctors!!

[Luci-loo]

As i posted in my introdution I have a small thing about visiting the doctor(small HAH) coupled with a lot of other stuff

Today i managed to walk into the surgery to re-register(its been that long) and omg it was awful there was one person in front of me and all i could think was how easy it would be to walk right out

How i managed I don't know-but i managed to ask for the forms etc getting ready to walk out and fill them in at home~ no such luck they gave me a pen and asked me to it then and there.

So I'm sat there making the page wet and and shaking and forgetting basic stuff (date of birth, adress etc) and some questions I just can't answer so I have to ask for help from receptionist. However just as I go up to ask what they mean a doctor comes out and looks at me(the waiting room was totally empty) and of course i just know she is going to drag me in to her room so i barley manage to stammer out my question and the recpceptist is firing out questions and the doctor is looking at me ready to pull me in and im thinking thank goodness im in a doctors surgery she will be able to start cpr quickly when i have my heart attack. Then just as I'm ready to run I just tell them~ look I have problems with doctors thats why i haven't been for so long. I felt better after saying it and she was really nice about it and told me not to worry and to go back to tomorrow which was a relief.

Wish i could say it ended there however my mum asked my to pick something up from the local supermarket~ who unfortunately had a move about so i couldn't find anything and the queue was a mile long so I got myself really worked up and by time I got home i was a nervous wreck.

So all in all my trip to doctors didn't quite go as planned so just working up the courage now to make my appointment tomorrow and trying not to obsess about it.

However tomorrow I won't be taking my phone~ no last minute trips to shop for me thank you very much.

(sorry for long post- once i started writing i couldn't stop)

[katyfitz]

be strong, if you havent lost control or fainted before when you feel this way just tell yourself it hasnt happened before so it wont happen again

[Luci-loo]

I made it!!

Luckily I didn't have to wait too long once in the surgery(less than a minute) and once I got in it just all came spilling out- and I mean everything I was probaly sat there for 15 mins and once I had done he started asking how it started etc. He then gave me a prescription for paroxetine and asked me to go back in 3 weeks. After then he is going to look other methods such as conselling. He was nice I guess told me it would take time and if i took 1 day of work because I couldn't face it not to beat myself up and talked a lot about 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

Funny thing I feel like I should be happier I've made myself do something I never thought i could do but I just feel drained and tired~ all my limbs feel really heavy and I still feel kinda sad. It'll pass i guess.

(thanks for words encouragement katy)

[jollywalrus]

Hi Shelli,
I just had to reply to this post because it so reminded me of me a few years back. I was so terrified in the doctors, that the doctor had to see me in the loo because it was next to the doorway!! Bless him for that!

As with all things familiarity breeds contempt and eventually I was at the doctors so often, I stopped being afraid.

Just wanted you to know I'm right there with you!

Christine xx

[Robertc160882]

Well done,

I also hate doctors so you did well to go there and hopefully the meds will start to help you and things will settle down.

Robert

[Karen]

Hi Shelli

Well done for going back and explaining it all to the doctor.

It can take a few weeks for the medication to start giving any benefits so stick with it if you can.

When you go back to see the doctor it would be a good idea to ask about CBT therapy.

Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

[Sue K with 5]

Well done Shelli


I am assuming you took that list honey ! I am really proud of you for facing that huge fear and I know it feals like something small pat yourself on the back because it was a huge step!

Well done and good news about how the doctor responded as well


Keep me posted


Sue with 5
xxxxx



scknight

[Meg]

Good on you Shelli for going and facing it and suceeeding

It often feels an anticlimax when you've achieved something so you treat yourself and be kind to yourself please and look forward to further progress and counselling is a great step forwards.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?