Positive outcome on skin cancer & anxiety

[StoneMonkey]

Yippee! I got signed off from skin cancer care today after 2 years of hospital appointments. I had the middle one (squamous) which can occasionally spread but was more freaked by having to go to hospital.

So where was my success.
I attended all appointments on my own and stuck out all the waiting rooms and at the end was confident enough to go a little bit early.

I wanted to get through the removal without telling them my condition but I caved and they were really understanding about it. They took it on themselves to entertain me and kept me engaged throughout. Bless her, the doctor was so good that although at that stage was just doing a rather large biopsy she managed to get all of the cancer with a safe enough margin around it that I didn't need anything else removed.

I got through a neck and thyroid ultrasound although I tense up so rigid my fingers needed to be prised off of the bedding and I attended all further appointments on the excised area.

For all my good intentions before I go I know I am supposed to relax and accept whatever comes but as soon as I get in there it still becomes a fight against panic. Although I didn't achieve it with style it is good to know I can get through an emergency without leaning on anyone else.

Today means another thing off the list.

Simon.

[ladybird64]

Simon..that really is amazing!

With what you have been through you are worried that you didn't "do it in style"?

You did it, managed to go for your treatment unaided so who cares how you do it? That's the key to starting to chip away at it..when you stop worrying too much about HOW you do it and just concentrate on the fact that it's done!

Massive congratulations to you for you on coping with the cancer and doing what was needed to deal with it.

[margaret jones]

Simon well done you are a star Congratulations to you what a achievment .

You should be really pleased with yourself and also good news on the treatment .

Take Care Maggie have a you deserve it

[StoneMonkey]

Thank you Ladybird 64 that was a lovely reply.
I am very pleased that I got through it all and have been smiling like a Cheshire all afternoon.
I had offers from family and friends to come along over the period but for some reason I just got angry and thought no this is my thing and I can deal with it. I dont know if anyone can relate to this but I also didn't want others to make it bigger than I wanted it to be (illness hijack).
The word cancer has different meanings and imaginings to everyone but to me it was another thing to be thrown on the pile of stuff to deal with. I also had supreme confidence in the profesionals and the steps that they took to ensure that any risk from it was minimised.
We are such a motley crew on here. I am not scared of cancer but am petrified of waiting rooms. (Well panic attacks that can be brought on by waiting rooms, well panic attacks brought on by me in waiting rooms). Thats the hard thing. At some level it is me or my thought process keeping it alive but the solution can just feel beyond grasping distance. You are right though the chipping away at it meant that I was far more relaxed and confident at the end and I just kept putting myself in there.

We take our victories where we can and getting through this episode was a big one for me and thank you for your supportive acknowledgement.
My friends are supplying a big cake to celebrate the end of this chapter. To them its about the cancer to me its about dealing with the fear but cake is cake so im in.

Simon.

[CallieCalm]

Enjoy the cake - you deserve it! Huge well done to you for facing the waiting room and the rest of it - I have to face my 'demon' tomorrow and your post is gonna get me through. We are much stronger than we think (sometimes!)

Thanks

[StoneMonkey]

Hi Maggie,
Thank you very much. I was feeling happy & you are all making me feel happier still.
I might have to change my signature to "Mountains are easy and soon waiting rooms will be too".
It is only the people on here that can really know what we go through to achieve things that others find simple.
I hope that your brother is as well as can be expected. It took me a while to figure why my mums diagnosis hit me so hard. Other than the fact that she is ill I think it scared me the thought of am I up to caring in the future.
She has been responding well to patches though which i think basically deliver dopamine.
At least we have got one less illness in the house to think about as of today.
Best wishes & thanks.
Simon

[StoneMonkey]

Hi Calliecalm,
Thank you, cake is yummy I hope that your demon turns out to be a wee bit smaller for you tomorrow. It is awful that we have to do this but it does show our resolve that we are determined to do our best to beat these things. I hope that it goes well and that you feel like celebrating after.
Perhaps we should all get a nice cake every time we face a demon.
Best wishes for tomorrow,
Simon