Re: Can't Handle Being Fat Anymore!!
Firstly, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I can see this is causing you distress and I really think that the psychological aspect of your problem needs to be addressed first. If you just carry on trying to diet you'll feel even more miserable and depressed. In the end you'll give in to temptation and then feel guilty and again depressed. Do you see the pattern here? You must deal with your depression and anxiety. It's no good just going to a dietician and them telling you not to eat this, that or the other.
Make an appointment with your GP and discuss how depressed this is making you feel. Don't let them tell you to just go on a diet. Say you need help to control your depression and anxiety first. I don't know whether you're taking any meds but this may be one avenue for you along with talking therapy.
Lastly, I really think you should speak to your partner about this. You need his support more than anything and if you keep avoiding the issue your relationship will suffer. You must approach this one step at a time. You didn't put on loads of weight overnight and it will take time but first you must be in the right frame of mind to acheive this - that's why I think it's important you get all the help you can to treat your mental state.
I wish you well.
__________________
KK
Never Surrender, Comrade