Can't Handle Being Fat Anymore!!

[juiceyloop]

Hi guys don't really know where to start, although your strangers i feel degraded telling people this.

4 years ago i randomly out of the blue got agoraphobia, i was a size 14 and really happy with my body i wasn't fat or thin i was curvy and loved it. Since becoming like this i have gained loads an am now a size 22. My partners really thin and he's watched me gain this weight over the years an although he never says anything i know i repulse him. I've tried so hard to diet but i loose all motovation or get really depressed an start eatting again. I think about my weight at least 2 hours of every day if not more. I am at breaking point & don't know what to do!

[Anxious_gal]

My close friend has the same problem, she used to be a size 14 too.

She notices how society treats her differently based on her size.
She hates what she See's in the mirror.
she's always on some kind of diet.
she actually does a lot of sports and exercise.
she has a total addiction to food and comfort eats.

I have suggested to her to maybe see a hypnotist or even get a surgical band put around her stomach, from what i hear it's pretty safe and the band can be removed at any time.

All I know is, she won't be happy until she loses the weight :-(

[KK77]

Firstly, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I can see this is causing you distress and I really think that the psychological aspect of your problem needs to be addressed first. If you just carry on trying to diet you'll feel even more miserable and depressed. In the end you'll give in to temptation and then feel guilty and again depressed. Do you see the pattern here? You must deal with your depression and anxiety. It's no good just going to a dietician and them telling you not to eat this, that or the other.

Make an appointment with your GP and discuss how depressed this is making you feel. Don't let them tell you to just go on a diet. Say you need help to control your depression and anxiety first. I don't know whether you're taking any meds but this may be one avenue for you along with talking therapy.

Lastly, I really think you should speak to your partner about this. You need his support more than anything and if you keep avoiding the issue your relationship will suffer. You must approach this one step at a time. You didn't put on loads of weight overnight and it will take time but first you must be in the right frame of mind to acheive this - that's why I think it's important you get all the help you can to treat your mental state.

I wish you well.

[Kell]

I agree that maybe you should get to the bottom of your anxiety / depression. Speak to your GP to explain how you feel.

When you feel up to it perhaps you could join a slimming club such as Slimming World or Weight Watchers? That way you get to make friends with & get support from people in the same situation as you. If you can't cope with the meetings then maybe you could join online?

Have a chat with your partner about how you are feeling & I'm sure he'll be more than happy to support you. Perhaps you could exercise together e.g. go for a walk every day.

Keep your chin up. You will come through this x

[Nigel]

Hi juiceyloop,

I think Melancholia and Kell have a good point regarding looking at the underlying reasons first. I’m sure it’s no coincidence when you say – “Since becoming like this i have gained loads... ” I wonder if food is maybe used as a sort of coping strategy in some way.

When it does come to dieting, one good way is simply not to diet!

It does make sense when you stop and think about it...
Many diets involve a person denying themselves certain types of food, and we all know what happens when something is forbidden

And many diets keep a person feeling hungry, and when hungry what do we always think about? It’s exactly the thing we don’t want to be thinking about

So another way is to eat what you want when you want, but to eat ‘consciously’. Stop and think first whether you’re actually feeling hungry or whether it’s more out of habit, and only eat when feeling genuinely hungry. Then take your time eating and think about and savour every mouthful, and as soon as you feel ‘full’ stop eating – even if that means leaving some of the meal – because that’s the point where your body has consumed exactly the right amount to keep it going. Any more will be stored away for later as fat.

Oh, and please stop using that horrid ‘f’ word about yourself. I’m sure you wouldn’t use it on somebody else

Take care,
Nigel

[Hazel B]

I agree with what has been said, you need to deal with the underlying cause before you start to tackle your weight. I have an image in my mind that you are a beautiful and kind person but you can't see it as your mind is playing tricks on you.
Please tell your doctor what you feel, don't be embarrassed or degraded, that's their job and I bet you there is nothing they have not heard or seen before. Don't struggle on your own anymore please.