So down - keep crying - so fed up

[mandie]

Hi

I feel so bad . My anx and panic has got worse again the past 6 weeks and i feel like its never going to go away.

Iv started cbt and have had 5 sessions, but they dont seem to be helping at all. They are not every week but every 2 weeks so maybe this makes a difference i dont know.

I left work 2 years ago due to a bullying manager and iv been so bad iv not managed to get another job. I was put on sertaline and i did start to get a bit better and at times was doing ok.

Five months ago i came off the sertaline as i didnt think they were helping me and i wanted to try without any meds. I was feeling alot better and thought i was getting better. Previous to the sertaline i had been on citalopram on and off for about 3 years. They seemed to stop working so the gp changed them to the sertraline. When i first suffered anx the citalopram were great for me and i went a few years feeling normal.

I thought i was coping ok, but the last 6 weeks have been truely awful. I have fear of supermarkets since i started getting panic attacks in them and i hate shopping centres. I feel so liteheaded and panicky when im in them and a few people who i have told dont understand and just think its weird. Everyday i feel spaced out, light headed and not here and everything seems unreal. I get this fear all the time and the anx seems to be with me all day. I no these are the anx symptoms and i no trying to ignore them will help them go away quicker but they make me panic more and then the symtpoms get worse.

The past few days i keep crying, this is not something that normally happens to me but i feel so down with the constant panic and anx its probably no wonder.

I have had a horrible two years with my dad being very ill with cancer and still battling it, my bullying boss and a break up with my partner who i was engaged to. Some things in my life have finally been sorted and i thought this would mean i would start to get better, so i cant understand why iv got worse again.

I see my gp every month for a review and i due back in 2 weeks. he is away on holiday now otherwise i would try to get to see him

I really didnt want to go back on meds but i feel i will have to. But it seems the meds just help the problem at the time but dont get to the bottom of it and when you stop the meds the anx comes back.

Sorry the post is so long

Mandie

[Kell]

Hi Mandie,

Sorry that you're feeling so bad. I wouldn't necessarily wait for your doctor to come back off holiday. You could always see someone else rather than suffering for another 2 weeks.

It sounds like you've had a rough time of things although anxiety is not always linked to what is going on in our lives. I am having an episode of anxiety at the moment & there is nothing for me to feel anxious about. It is purely the anxiety itself that causes me the issue. It's a viscious circle.

Speak to your CBT counsellor at your next appointment about your concerns that you don't feel any improvement & be honest about how you are feeling.

Have you got family & friends that can support you?

Take care

Kel
x

[mandie]

Thanks Kel

I know i can see another gp but the earliest appt i can get is next week anyway and iv been seeing my gp for 5 years re the anx and would rather stick with him

I dont like to trouble my family, they have enough going on with my dad being so ill.

Also i dont like to burden friends with this. They dont suffer with this and they dont really understand.

I have made a good friend on here and she has been a fantastic support to me.

After a good cry this morning, strangely i feel alot better. I have a daughter who is at school and im a single parent so i have to carry on and do wot i would normally do.

I try not to avoid any situation and dont want my daughter to know i suffer, think iv hidden it quite well from her.

I think coming on here helps as well all suffer with this horrible anx and its nice to know im not alone.

love mandie x

[Kell]

Try not to see yourself as a burden. The people who care about you will want to help & support you. If you really don't feel that you can talk to anyone then there is lots of support on here.

It sounds to me like you are being very brave. Keep your chin up. You'll come through it

Kel
x