i hope this is in right place

[lildutt]

im just gone say how my life has been and now i seem to be cutting myself im 25 and i got a lovely family a boyfriend whos good to me and a lil boy whos 3
when i was younger i got sexually assulted by my old bro if i can call him that and then raped by two lad at school
then my dad passed away and then my mom most recently
ive been on anti depression and now after one of the docs took me off them i been feeling really down and started cutting myself
my main problem is i never seem happy cant join in jokes and family life like i should
i bottle everything up and cant trust or turn to him and his famiy
i just want to be happy and try and forget about the above sexually assult and rape
this even causing me not to perform in sex
when i cut myself it feels good for the few minutes but after i done it and days after im really down and get headaches and sleep alot
when i had my lil boy i had pnd aswell
i just want to speak to people and see wht i can do about these problems
bellxx

[wendy]

Hi
Sorry to hear what you have been through, If you ever want a chat please feel free to send me a PM
Take Care
Wendy x

[lildutt]

ty wendy x

[jackie]

bell you are not the only one on this site who has resorted to this form of hurt to yourself, so do not be harsh on yourself. that man hurt you really bad but you must not punish yourself like he did to you. does your partner know about the abuse. why do you feel you cannot trust anyone? stupid question i suppose, but you should share it a she sounds like he would really help you

i hope you feel better now that you 2 have made friends
jackie

[lildutt]

thanks jackie hun x

[lildutt]

jackie i was straight wit him when i meet up with him what went on but i dont want to bother him with this cus i know it will be better this way

[lildutt]

i been the docs and they put me back on tablets and said they see how i am getting on with them after a monthif i still feel the same she said that she will double the does of them.
i asked for some counselling for the things that happened in my life and she said they will find out the places for me and phone and tell me where it is and stuff

the doc understood what and why i feel in black hole and said i should of come sooner to her and ask for these things

she wasnt to happy with the other doc who took me off the tablets and she gave me more
so hopefully in the next couple of weeks i be able go to this counselling and try and get out of this black hole
bellxx

[Spice]

Hi bell

Sorry to hear that you have been through so much. I just wanted to say hi and let you know that you can send me a message if ever you need to chat.

Take Care

Spice xx

[lildutt]

thanks spice hun

[lildutt]

i have a leaflet trough from the docs about axis-counselling
im going to ring them up when they open and get me a appointment