Oh god im going to get fired

[BunnyMazonas]

I'm so worried right now. Work are not happy with the amount of time off sick I've had this year. They are not going to pay me sick due to the amount of time I've had, which is fair enough (not great for me but I understand) but then they said "if we used *name of sickness system" scale, you would already have been brought up on disciplinary for this".

I know I've had a lotof time off but I really am trying as hard as I can. I had a few odd days off in the beginning of the year, not many, but then my counselling hit a critical point and I got really bad. I ended up being off for 3 weeks straight. Since then I've had a few more odd days off for having bad days and some for having bad meds days, but I really do want to work.

What happens if I lose my job over this?I'm theonly provider in my house and we have no savings.

[lizzie29]

Is there anything in your contract that says about being off sick, how many days etc? Do your work know why you're off - have you taken in doctor's notes and things?

Is there anyone at work you could talk to about this? Maybe you could get something put in place that would help you to go to work, whether it be more shorter breaks rather than one long one, someone there you can talk to, reducing your hours, etc. Are you in work at the moment or off sick? Doctors can do somethng called a phased return, where you'd go back gradually.

[blueangel]

First of all, is there a trade union where you work? If there is, it might be worth joining and having a chat with one of the union reps.

I'm a union rep where I work and have done this sort of thing for more than 12 years now, so have assisted a lot of people with health problems, whether it's physical or mental.

Unfortunately, the fact is that employers can and do sack employees for taking time off sick, and the amount that they will tolerate depends very much on what type of employer they are, and what sort of a view they take of sickness. Traditionally, it's thought that you can "get away" with higher sickness levels if you work in the public sector, but that's changed a lot over the last few years.

Lizzie29 has already suggested a lot of the things that work well for a lot of people, particularly the options of a phased return to work, or maybe reducing your hours if you feel that would help you cope better.

Other things you could do include

* taking someone with you as support next time you have to go to a meeting (it's probably best if this is either a work colleague, partners and family members can get upset and this doesn't go down very well)
* making it clear to your employer that you are the only wage earner in your household and that you know it's in your best interests to stay in work
* finding out whether there is any other support that they can offer you through work - e.g. do they have any connections with a counselling service? Do they have an occupational health department who you could go to for advice?
* also, check up on how long you have been suffering with anxiety and have been under a GP for it - if it's longer than 12 months, then you probably fall under the remit of the Disability Discrimation Act, which means that employers have to make what are known as "reasonable adjustments" to help you stay in work
* it might also be worth trying to get yourself into work when you are having a bad day - if your manager has to send you home, then there is no doubt about how unwell you are
* ask your counsellor about coping strategies for work - he/she might be able to help you out with some of these to get you through the bad days without having to take a day off.

Hope these are helpful. Good luck.

[BunnyMazonas]

Hi guys, thanks for the advice.

Work gave me counselling earlier in the year; I've used all my allotted sessions. They know why I'm off; I've been totally honest with them, have given them copies of prescription documents and discussed the whole situation in detail. I try to come in as much as I can, and on a few occassions have had to go home partway through the day, but I'm not sure how much faith they have in me.

During the last HR meeting the HR person mentioned I'd looked "spaced out" that morning and then said "let me ask you straight; have you taken any other drugs than your medication?" I don't even drink! If they think I'm taking other stuff then they aren't going to believe anything I say

Unfortunately there is no union; anyone who has ever tried to join or start a union in this company has been "let go" for various reasons; they always find something.

Don't get me wrong, they've been really supportive until now and I understand their perspective, but I am just so scared. I've done everything right and have tried to be honest and accomodating, but I cannot change the fact that I can't always work. It is more meds side effects than anything else, and although my GP is trying other meds for me it will take time and in the meantime I am going to have bad days.

I don't want to lose my job!

[paula lynne]

After 5 years of study, and then qualifying as a neurosurgical nurse, my world collapsed 2 years later when they "let me go"...all that work down the loo. Lost my job, house, and nearly cost me my marriage...I thought Id never get over it...and yet, here I am, doing floristry from home, much less stress than brains anyday!! What Im sayin is...if the worst happens, dont give up, it may open new doors for you, and maybe youll find somewhere that deserves you, and new exciting adventures may await you! All the best.x

[lizzie29]

I have to agree with Paula. Last year was a horrendous year for me, but I've really come around to thinking that everything happens for a reason, and IF you were to lose your job, you'd find a way of coping. It may not seem it at the time, but hopefully good things would come out of it and you'd be able to see it as a positive. (I know it's easy for me to say though, as I'm on the other side of it all!)

It's all IF though - you don't know you will lose your job. It sounds to me that you've done the right things - kept them informed, tried your best to get to work. I think it was very wrong of the HR person to say that, but I've found that some people just don't understand mental illness.

Could you go to the Citizens Advice Bureau and find out your rights etc? Also, they'd be able to inform you of what benefits etc you'd be entitled to if the worst happened. That may help to ease your mind, as you'd know there would be ways of support should you need them.

As I said though, you're only at the "what if" stage. So much of our anxiety is about things that never happen, and whilst I can appreciate that you're very worried, it won't do you any good to worry about something that isn't definitely going to happen. Try to focus your efforts instead on the present and getting better, and then you might not end up losing your job anyway! x

[BunnyMazonas]

Thank you for replying. I am feeling a little calmer. The CAB have suggested I contact the CCCS for advice. I've dealt with them over issues before and their staff are always so nice, so hopefully they will be able to put my mind at ease.