I am becoming concerned that my employer is not taking my mental health issues as seriously as I had initially thought.
When I first came to them explaining my anxiety, my self harm and other issues they agreed that my problems were serious and promised they would do everything they could to support me. I had counselling through work and have been medicated by my GP. Throughout I have tried to be as honest and open as I feel able.
- I explained to my employer that these problems had been with me since childhood, but that they had begun to reach the point where I could no longer "deal with it" on my own.
- I explained to my employer that the medication has unpleasant side effects, gave them a copy of the little advice document that came with the pills which lists these, and advised them specifically which side effects I was experiencing.
- I have explained repeatedly that the office arrangements; which place me at a totally exposed desk, right next to two crossing main throughways through the open plan office, with the main printer/photocopier for the floor 2 foot behind my desk and the entire telesales department just behind that, is not good for me. I explained that the noise, busy atmosphere and feelings of exposure made me feel worse and made my bad days harder to cope with. I explained that early this year, and was assured a desk move would be arranged. This has still failed to happen.
- I followed up my counselling with advice to my employer, explaining that the counselling uncovered deep, historic and serious problems. I explained that I was going through a healing process and that my mental and emotional state was likely to get worse before it got better. I took special pains to point out that the end of my counselling did not mark the end of my problems, and that if anything after counselling I could get worse for a while, whilst I healed and worked through what I learned.
Despite my best efforts, I have had quite a bit of time off (at least in their eyes). I had a little under 3 weeks off at the high point of my counselling, and over the year have had additional odd days here and there when my mental/emotional state was poor, or when medication side effects were playing up, totalling around 30 working days off this year. Because work were concerned by the amount of time I was taking off, I agreed to let them contact my doctor themselves to discuss my problems with him. I also agreed, and sought agreement from my doctor, to change my medication to one which he hopes will have fewer issues overall.
I explained to my employer repeatedly that changing dosage or medication type is not a smooth process, that the side effects get worse before they get better, that withdrawal symptoms can occur and that my mental and emotional state was likely to decline temporarily. I explained that it may even turn out that the new medication would be worse for me, and I would have to change again, but that this would involve at least a further 4-6 weeks of upheaval and change.
I have tried to do everything I can to be honest and open.
Despite this, I now feel really strongly that my employer does not trust me. The day after changing my medication, I came in from a day off sick back to work. They brought me into HR because they thought I had seemed "spaced out" and asked me if I had been taking any other drugs! They accused me of having been indulging in less-than-legal drugs and coming into work on them! I don't even smoke cigarettes. I can't afford to drink and, even if I could, I hate how alcohol combines with my meds so I don't touch alcohol any more. I'm SCARED of what hallucinogens might do to someone with my mental health issues.
Every single piece of information I gave them should have made it obvious that the confusion, dizziness, absent-mindedness and other "spaced out" issues could occur as a result of my meds, and that they should expect me to look particularly bad so soon after a change. I have spoken with the same HR person every meeting for the last 12 months. Have they just not listened to me? Are they choosing to ignore what I'm telling them?
At this point, I'm worried. If they think I've been "doing drugs", they aren't going to believe anything I tell them. How am I supposed to protect myself if all my honesty is meaningless?
Reply With Quote
