Hi all!
Long post again - sorry - maybe people will relate to some or all of it though!
After a battle against anxiety and depression that has lasted 19 months I am back at work and rebuilding my life - hopefully this will prove to everyone who has suffered with these horrible afflictions that there is hope if you persevere!
I've rebuilt some burned bridges with old friends and I am doing better at work than I have done anywhere else. The trouble is, I am finding myself burned out and exhausted by the demands of my job.
I can cope with the work ok, but it's leaving me tired out, and the hours are bordering on horrendous. I've got a 10-hour shift on Christmas Eve!
It's got to the point where I have had two migraines in one week - this one has caused me to have my first time off sick and I am having tomorrow off as well since I still feel like complete crud. I feel emotionally, mentally and physically burned out.
I love my job and I am getting on reasonably well with my new team even though I am trying to keep some distance after what happened in training. The gay bloke on the team offered me some man-love, which I politely declined, and I am on-off seeing a girl.
My family has had some problems with a weirdo living on our street (the usual sanctimonious prat who thinks they are always right and we are always wrong) and next door neighbour's daughter. These problems have resulted in an unexpected show of support from our other neighbours.
Thing is, this is a hell of a change from my normal life, and I am finding it very hard to get up in the morning cos I am constantly knackered. I can't enjoy my days off cos I am too tired.
I have considered reducing my citalopram dose since the job and my new hobbies keep me too busy to have time for the chatterbox. Also, the cit is probably what's making me so tired in the morning.
On the other hand, my best mate is in a very dark place (although he has picked up a lot since I got back in touch), and I am scared that if I reduce my dose of cit I will join him! I cannot go through all those side effects again. Basically I'm scared!
I'm not sure what the point of this thread is, I just wanted to know what people think. Is this the wrong time to think about reducing my cit dose? Am I wimping out and returning to my old pattern of behaviour by ringing in sick due to exhaustion? Is it weird to be exhausted after just 2 (eventful) months? And does the Great Unclean One get +2 Strength from his flail? (Ok, so the last question is Warhammer, I just wondered if anyone knew.)
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