Help / Support wanted, I don't know how to access it.

[DanH]

Hey I really need some advice here.

I'm a 25 year old male, for 10+ years I've had issues with my nerves and people, even back at school I used to vomit regularlly in the mornings and often on the way to and at school, even worst though was the whole feeling (and occasionally) being unable to control my bowels. I basicly spent many years hardly leaving the house, I was forced to go onto JSA essentially as I believed and was pretty much told "its in your head".

As time went on I tried to do various courses and jobs, of course all of them ended badly due to me not always being able to make it or being so on edge and emotional that anything resulting conflict pretty much resulted in me crying my eyes out and having panic attacks, pride meant I couldn't go back to these places.

About 8 months ago I had a bit of a meltdown and had a pretty supportive person in the Job Center, she referred me to one of their disability advisors or whatever and after speaking to her she said that It might be a good idea to go to a doctor and talk about this, after doing that I was promptly signed off with Severe Anxiety / Agoraphobia, unfortunately this is pretty much as far as I've gotten.


Right now my condition hasn't improved, I met with a rather rude woman who assessed me for extra support she turned up 20 minutes late and basicly shouted at me for 30 mins after that saying "if you dont speak up I cant help you and your wasting my time", I stayed quiet and couldn't speak, eventually she recommended I go for some therapy. I was given 13 sessions of 1 hour a week, this was about 4 months ago... I've been to FIVE total at max, I dont think there has even been 3 that ran in a row without her taking a Holiday or a training day, yesterday after 4+ weeks of her being unavailable as I was getting ready to go and going through all my usual morning anxieties (including being sick and sitting on a toilet for 2 hours before I got ready) I get a call saying "no she can't make it today either" about an hour before Im due to leave. I got pissed off and said I was very unhappy that I wasn't getting the care I felt I needed and bah.


The only good thing to come from this is I was that low I spoke to my Dad for the first time In my life about my condition, hes going to call them tomorrow for me and try and get me a new therapist and start from scratch again.


I was just hoping that know some of you here have read my pretty simple recap you can advise me on what avenues of support I should be going down. Right now I'm living alone, I'm pretty much so low I don't clean, I don't know how to cook, my diet is terrible and I've got pretty much no support from family and friends (although this thing with my dad was really unexpected) and I feel I've had some awful experiences with some NHS staff.

My biggest worry is that things wont change, I have no self esteem, I mean damn, I've never even been able to earn a wage, its very hard (but I'm managing) to avoid thoughts of suicide and self harm, however I do worry a lot lately as I'm quite sure that statisticaly I fit the criteria.


Thanks for anyone who took the time to read all of this, if there are any questions or things that need clarifying please feel free to ask.

[Jaco45er]

Hi Dan

Man you have had a bad time, sorry fella.

You're GP hasn't been a lot of help, they should have picked up on the fact that you need more help and support than they have given.

I am not going to say you should try any particular therapy/treatment, because I don't suffer from the same things, but I would recommend looking at the following page:

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/mentalhea...s/gethelp.aspx

Now I would have thought (and this is only a possible scenerio) that when you see a specialist for help, it could well be a case of meds to get you more chilled out and ready to start therapy (talking therapy I mean).

If you don't feel your GP is too hot on this, don't be scared to talk to another GP, I found that there are GP's who understand anxiety/depression, and some that dont know how to deal with it.

Also, and this isn't going to be easy, but to give yourself he best chance you can to benefit from treatment, you should try and eat well, exercise (even if it's only walks or if you can't get out, you can still exercise inhouse, I don't mean become Arnie but enough to burn off adrenaline and get yourself a little fitter).

Dan, anxiety & depression can be managed and controlled to such an extent that it no longer is a hindrance in your day to day life, this is no myth. The trick is, just finding that treatment that works, and this requires patience, but it is time well spent to get on that road to recovery.

Keep us updated bud.

Good Luck

Jaco

[blueangel]

Hi Dan

That's top advice from Jaco - it is possible to be anxious/depressed and still function reasonably well.

I'm really sad to hear that you've had such a crap experience of the NHS; I've worked for them for over 20 years (not in mental health services though) and it makes me cross when I some across instances of support not working for people.

The other thing I'd add to what Jaco has said, is that you need to try and find things to do that will occupy your mind. This might be difficult at first, and you might find that you can only do things for short periods of time, but it really does help. The problem is, when we become depressed or anxious we turn in on ourselves, and to an extent can become completely self-obsessed, as the outside world doesn't matter at all. This leads us to becoming detached from everything, making the whole experience worse and worse. If you find yourself things to do which occupy your mind, it does help you to re-engage with the rest of the world.

[ditzygirl]

Dan
It sounds as if you have had a nightmare - and im not making light of the lady that keeps cancelling on you but I reckon she is suffering from stress too and close to breaking point. That still doesn't make her attitude right but how can she help anyone in that state.

Firstly I think you have made some big steps in helping yourself to recover - confiding in your dad and us are big things to do and mean you are accepting your situation. You are NOT ALONE sweetie - have a good look around this site and many of us suffer as you do and we understand completely so feel free to share with us. I hope we can offer you some comfort and support.

Jaco's advise is spot on, now you have opened up to your dad will he be your support ? Don't beat urself up about needing a little help and support we all need it from time to time. Other people have other problems, not the same as ours necessarily but not many folk go through life problem free. If your dad canhelp you ask him to help you find a good GP- they are around and you desperately need that. I am not sure if you are taking meds, im not a fan of meds but had to accept help a while ago - they can help and you deserve a good quality of life.
Exercise and good diet are essential and will help you feel better. You can eat healthily without spending a fortune if you are careful and looking for new simple recipes will occupy ur mind.
Can anyone help you clean your house up - you can't help being poorly and you will feel a sense of achievement. I right a list of tasks for the day reward myself with something on completing it.
Learning some basic yoga and relaxation exercises really help.

I hope this helps a little, you are not alone and you can manage anxiety and depression and get a life that makes you happy. A doctor recently told me that anxiety and depression are very very common which made me feel a lot better.

Hang on in there you can g et through thisx