OCD about my sexuality.. please someone help :(

[empop92]

I feel like crap every day and this has been going on for too long and I just need some help. At the age of 12 i witnessed my mum have a horrible accident, luckily she was ok but since then i suffered for 2 years from panic attacks and since overcoming them i have suffered from anxiety attacks and OCD for 3 years. I'm now almost 18 and I hate how I am.. i had a wonderful childhood and was so happy.. now i feel constantly anxious and depressed.
the biggest worry I have is about my sexuality.. all my life I have liked boys and currently have a boyfriend who I have been with for 2 years. He is like my best friend - i can tell him anything and love being around him.. I also have a strong sexual attraction to him but STILL in the back of my mind i'm like 'do i fancy this other girl??' i can't eat or sleep its so bad :(
i used to be friends with this girl but we drifted apart.. i wasn't too bothered about it tbh. but whenever i'm around her i get major anxiety attacks and i'm like 'do i find her attractvie?' i analyse every feeling and she always pops into my mind and i get this weird feeling which then makes me worry if it's romantic feelings or not.
i don't even know what romantic feelings are anymore.. i don't feel happy when i'm around her and i've seen her getting with guys before and not felt jealous or anything (but get jealous of my current boyfriend)
i can't describe this feelings except it's not exactly unpleasant, which freaks me out cus i'm like 'does this mean i like her?'
its like a surge through my body and its weird :S
when i kiss my bf it feels amazing and passionate.. surely this is having romantic feelings for someone?
whenever she sits near me i just want her to go away i feel so uncomfortable :(
what is this? how do i stop these obsessive thoughts and weird feelings?
please someone help me

[napoletanina]

hey there
read my post that i posted today, i have similar thing to yours.
driving me crazy to.
definately ocd. i looked into this all day yesterday.

[WillyB]

The last two posts ive read about HOCD, are completely typical symptoms of HOCD. When i read these posts, i see myself last year ranting and ranting on all kinds of forums about how i feel around people ect like you have. Reading them now i am starting to see the silly side which you cannot see when you're in the depths of hell with this obsession. Hang in there, it does get easier and you will start to laugh at some of the things you have thought. CBT is the way forward, both of you need to get yourself into a CBT course.