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Thread: Giving Up

  1. #1

    Giving Up

    Guys I know i have only posted once in year, but I just can't do this anymore, I am so sick to death of worrying about my health, I'm 13, I don't want to do it anymore it's too hard, living in fear. Right now whats causing me to worry is that my left eye feels like its being sucked in, like the tear duct, and its been happening for months, my friend lindsay says she has the same, which made me a little relieved, my aunt just says its my eye growing but see I touched my head earlier and my head started to hrut a little and it traveled down to my neck, so I'm just, worrying, again, and I'm so tired of worrying, because I think I've got a brain tumour and stuff and I'm too tired.

    Please help me, I dont want to do it anymore

    (This is a small little rubbish poem I wrote to vent about my health anxiety)
    Rip, Tear, Burn, Cry, Kick, Hit, Kill,

    Feel the emotions run through you, rip them apart into pieces, detach the worry that chains you here young girl, why look so sad? You have your whole life ahead of you, yet you worry here so still, why so sad?
    Tear it like paper, destroy it and burn it, who cares what they think, just DO IT. Get rid of it, feel the anger pulse in your veins as you give up the fear.
    Don’t let it control you, burn it, watch as the fires lick up and down, eating away at your anxieties and nightmares. Your childish fears don’t seem so big now do they?
    Cry with relief, it’s almost gone, cry with anger, feel the passion inside.
    Scream your heart out, let it bleed.
    Let it drop from you, fall to your feet.
    Hit it, punch it, kick it, take away that frustration and smile, as the sun returns.
    The rain is almost over, now blow away the remains.
    Kill it. It’s all dead now, just watch it writhe away to nothing, because it is nothing young girl, so why look so sad?
    Last edited by CryMeARiver; 18-10-10 at 02:39.

  2. #2

    Re: Giving Up

    Hi Honey,

    I had to reply to your post, I totally understand how you feel.
    I am 26 and on a daily basis I worry about my health, from Cancer to blood clots, Appendictis or allergic reations but you know what after 2 years of worrying everyday....... Im still here.
    Believe it or not my anxiety started when I was 7 , Casualty was the main trigger back then. lol
    I Had alot of demons to fight in my head since then and I have spent alot of time trying to break down the anxiety in my mind,why do I fear these illnesses? what do I think will happen to me if I had them? For me its all linked to dying. I have had alot of death around me but also when I lok closely alot of good times too.
    It really is so important you put a basic routine into your day, be busy, not being busy is our worst trigger, not having enough to concentrate on will make you the best anxious person in the world, when Im bored or not doing much with my day or week Im great, no actually Im bloody fantastic at worrying about myself.
    You need to do your breathing excercises and say out loud to yourself "Im well, Im healthy, Im safe"
    You deserve happiness in your life and it is a battle everyday with your head.
    See your doctor, I garauntee they will say you are fit and healthy then try and reassure your self even if its just a little bit.
    With health anxiety we are so aware of our bodies, every twinge, odd sensation, twitchy nerve. They are all normal and part of the anxiety trap.
    I decided not to let the anxiety win, it wasnt easy but everyday I know im stronger than it.
    Your very talented, your poem is great, try and focus on what you do well in a positive way. Write some poetry, funny light hearted poetry, maybe for christmas for friends and family.
    Figure out your comforts, sounds silly but sometimes when im really anxious I stick on a Disney film. Anything is worth a go right??

    Stay in touch.

    Be strong and be kind to yourself. Your okay, its going to be okay. xx
    Please dont let it win.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    263

    Re: Giving Up

    Hi there
    I work in a secondary school in a variety of roles and we have a nurse /health officer that students can go and see to talk to if they have problems do you have one at your school? If you do then go and see her/him, I know ours is really good – strait talking but good and that’s probably what you want. If you don’t have one on site then you must have access to one so talk to a teacher you trust and like about it. From experience i can tell you that it gives us a real boost when students feel they can ask advice and confide in you and speaking for myself i bend over backwards when they do.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    152

    Re: Giving Up

    Honey you are so young and you have all your life in front of you. Lots of things are going on at 13 and you have so much to live for, you are fine - like the other person said, get counselling from school. We all want you to be OK do don't give up! I have a 12 year and 16 year old, although they don't suffer from HA, they have other issues since their mum died, so it's normal to feel confused and scared and sad at your age. But it won't last!

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