I got up this morning feeling pretty well. Sat down with a coffee and watched cartoons with my boy, promising him that we will do something fun in a little while. He's thnking, play doh, salt dough, painting and sticking or baking. I'm now thinking 'why the hell did I promise him this?'
So why have my intenions changed??? Anxiety! Thats why!!!!
I went int the kitchen, pulled out his craft things and derealization hit me like a boulder. I had to lay down, reassurring my son we would have a little rest then get back on task. Guilt kicked in and i got up to continue our task, now i'm swaying about like a drunk (i swear I havent touched a drop) My son is left disapointed again as i stumble back to the couch and make for the cushion to bury my head into. 'Come on Mummy, what can we make??' He is 4 years old, he is probably wondering what the hell is mother is playing at, laying here n the couch when theres fun to be had!!!
I am going to get my butt off this couch and give it another go, despite feeling swamped with dizziness. I have to keep going for my sons sake and for my own sanity.
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