need to sort myself out!

[ljd]

Why cant i sort myself out, i should know and be able to do this as its what i do in my job all the time help/support others in dealing with any problems they have. How can i support others and not use the advice i give for myself. Im fed up of being me, up and down. Why cant i just get on with things without making a fuss. sorry just a moan. just feel alone with it all, as noone knows how i feel.

[cattttt]

This rings a bell with me, it's not a moan, it's how I feel too! I work in a hospital and spend my days reassuring people and telling them they will be ok and we will all look after them-and inside I often feel like I'm losing it. Last week, I rang my counsellor at 8am, when she wasn't dressed or anything and had her come into town to sort me out-and then I came to work and spent the rest of the day sorting other people out, even though I didn't really feel like it. Maybe it makes us better at our jobs, because we know how people feel!

[blueangel]

I think this is a common theme. I also work for the NHS, and although I don't do patient care, I'm a trade union rep so spend a lot of time sorting out other peoples' problems.

The issue (I think) is that it's about how much we value ourselves - or rather, how much we *don't" value ourselves. It's "worth it" to give advice to someone else, but when we look at our own problems, it suddenly becomes too much hassle, and we end up not bothering about ourselves.

[ljd]

Hi catt and blue angel,

tahnks for replies kind of dont feel its only me now. I guess its easier to help others than it is to help ourselves. You can look at others froma different view but when your stuck in it its hard to step back and use the advice you give to others on yourself. Its just getting me down though and i need to snap out of this stupid mood ive got myself in.

[ems43]

this really strikes a chord with me, I also work with people suffering from mental health problems and feel that i beat myself up a lot for not being able to help myself ! As everyone keeps remining me ( my GP, psychiatrist, work colleagues) it is much easier to give advice that to take you own. Plus when you are stuck in the midst of your own mental health problems it is very difficult to see the woods for the trees.... we know the theory, but applying it to ourselves is the problem. I saw a great therapist once who told me of how when she had a breakdown she simply could not help herself and felt so angry that she knew exactly what she would do if a client of hers presented with the same problems.. yet was at a loss as to why she couldn't apply it to herself. it helps when i remember that. be kind to yourself, we are only human after all! xx

[ljd]

Hi ems,

thanks for the reply, its so frustrating though when we knoew what advice we give to others but for some reason you cannot apply it to yourself or if i do it doesn usually work. Guess im too entrenched in all and i useless at letting people in and know one knows me as such as i always hide how i feel. tc

[ems43]

ditto... they do say that people that work in the "helping professions" are often great at being nurturing of others and not of themselves. I too also put on a brave face, but its bloody hard work we do, and as my friend said too me when i got ill recently " emma you cant always be a sponge, taking in others problems and not expect it to have any impact". I may start to work with animals!x feel free to pm if you want x

[ljd]

Hi ems thanks again,

It is hard work and i guess i spend too much time helping others and noe enought time for me prob avoidence and scared to face things. It a pattern i have got into and i guess helpss keep it at bay i know im kidding myself cos it come sout in other ways!! Maybe one day ill get the courage to do something!! yeh animals may be a good idea to work with they cant answer you back and les complicated.. sometimes though we need a break and we cant help others if we are not taking care of ourselves. well tc your doing a great job.

[Bill]

Being a carer myself, I greatly admire and appreciate those in the caring profession who give so much of themselves to others in need. I honestly don't know how nurses cope because I know I would find it impossible not to allow patients suffering affect me emotionally.

Remember though, you are only human, you can only give so much. Remember to think of you and your needs, and time to enjoy the things you love doing because in all the world there are no professionals who deserve some happiness more than people like you who give so much to those in need.

Finances are important but caring nurses are priceless because they are the precious gems of this world and should always be treated as such!

[jothenurse]

Thanks, Bill. That is nice of you to say that.