Hi, My name is Raymond age 42, I live in the UK, all my conscience life I have been aware that I get anxious very easily. The amount of panic attacks I have actually suffered I can count on 1 hand. But I find that when I'm just idle thinking I always have bad memories that pop into my mind, and make me anxious, I find myself swearing out load to the thoughts. These memories make me feel really depressed. I have done some stupid things in my past, mainly through my own naivety, I hate myself because of my past makes me sad. They say your past makes you who you are. Well these thoughts make me feel like a bad person. I was thinking earlier I could have just crash the car on my way home. Don't worry I wont because its selfish to those who you leave behind, that would not be fair to my children. I just find myself hating myself, because of bad thoughts. I've tried to think of good thoughts but they wont stick. I find myself distracted, snappy and flustered. I don't have a stressful job. I work regular shifts with average pay, I eat a balanced diet. I also study part time, this takes my mind off it, but I get anxious more toward exam dates, etc. But I think that everybody would get stressed at these times. I just want to have a carefree attitude, but I've convinced myself that these anxiety moments are because I've let my guard down. I feel like a fool, I'm worthless, a failure and a complete joke.
Is it normal to feel like this.
Ray.
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