will this ever end?

[jackie26]

i have been suffering from anixety/panic on and off for the past 12 years. The past 18 months have been particularly bad but with the help of meds and counselling i thought i was getting to grips with the anxiety and dealing with it but for the past couple of months it just feels as though it is getting a grip again. i am struggling at work but have had so much time off that i cannot take anymore off sick plus jobs are at risk like a lot of places which doesn't help - i think i am ok job wise but you just never know. I am just so sick to death of feeling that i am making mistakes at work and that everything is my fault, i don't feel that i can deal with this much longer. i know deep down that i don't make any major mistakes - i am not perfect by any means. psychologist told me to keep a check list of things i do and am likely to worry about which helps a bit but i don't want to rely on that totally and become fixated with doing it. sorry for rambling on so early in the day i just know that if i write on here someone may have some words of wisdom to make me feel a bit better and that i am not alone. i just feel so useless and such a failure at the moment again.

[heavenly]

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that hun, you have got to grips with it before, and you will do again! You are not alone hun, I feel the same about work, only thing that gets me there is that the only other choice is to stay at home on my own and that wouldn't be good for me. Its a struggle and I know what you mean about feeling like you are making mistakes at work, but everyone makes mistakes. Do the people that you work closely with know your situation? Telling people is half the battle. xx

[jackie26]

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that hun, you have got to grips with it before, and you will do again! You are not alone hun, I feel the same about work, only thing that gets me there is that the only other choice is to stay at home on my own and that wouldn't be good for me. Its a struggle and I know what you mean about feeling like you are making mistakes at work, but everyone makes mistakes. Do the people that you work closely with know your situation? Telling people is half the battle. xx

thanks for your reply and sorry you feel the same way. i have been very honest with people at work and they are very understanding, but i feel they think i am absolutley barking mad, have to say i feel that about myself sometimes. it just feels rediculous, i check my work so often and then see mistakes that others have made and they don't bother about they just get on with it and i think why can't i be like that.

[heavenly]

thanks for your reply and sorry you feel the same way. i have been very honest with people at work and they are very understanding, but i feel they think i am absolutley barking mad, have to say i feel that about myself sometimes. it just feels rediculous, i check my work so often and then see mistakes that others have made and they don't bother about they just get on with it and i think why can't i be like that.

I know how you feel hun, since getting these attacks (about 10 weeks for me), things that I could do standing on my head before, I now struggle with, its very frustrating. We always think 'why can't we be like others', I don't know about you but I always think everyone else is having a whale of a time and I am the only freak around.

What meds are you on hun?

[jackie26]

I know how you feel hun, since getting these attacks (about 10 weeks for me), things that I could do standing on my head before, I now struggle with, its very frustrating. We always think 'why can't we be like others', I don't know about you but I always think everyone else is having a whale of a time and I am the only freak around.

What meds are you on hun?

Your right it is frustrating and i know it does get better and that this is only a blip for me and you will get better as well it just takes time. as to the why cant we be like others i do think that a lot but then on the other hand when i see people who really don't give a damn about there work or actions i think i don't want to be like that either, caring makes me me but i just care and worry about things too much. we are never happy are we lol. i am on sertraline and have been since january this year after finally admitting defeat trying to manage without them. how about you?

[heavenly]

Your right it is frustrating and i know it does get better and that this is only a blip for me and you will get better as well it just takes time. as to the why cant we be like others i do think that a lot but then on the other hand when i see people who really don't give a damn about there work or actions i think i don't want to be like that either, caring makes me me but i just care and worry about things too much. we are never happy are we lol. i am on sertraline and have been since january this year after finally admitting defeat trying to manage without them. how about you?

Have been on Olanzapine for the past 10 weeks, it is a tranquiliser, so it keeps me calm, but also makes me drowsy and lose concentration at work, hence the c*cking up at work! lol Past couple of days have felt extremely low, which resulted in an anxiety attack last night, I only got 3 hours sleep. Saw GP today, she is putting me on 20mg Citalopram to help with the moods, then when the Citalopram has kicked in, I can eventually stop taking the Olanzapine. I am having counselling as well and that is helping, but its tough going. Weather isn't helping either.

[jackie26]

Have been on Olanzapine for the past 10 weeks, it is a tranquiliser, so it keeps me calm, but also makes me drowsy and lose concentration at work, hence the c*cking up at work! lol Past couple of days have felt extremely low, which resulted in an anxiety attack last night, I only got 3 hours sleep. Saw GP today, she is putting me on 20mg Citalopram to help with the moods, then when the Citalopram has kicked in, I can eventually stop taking the Olanzapine. I am having counselling as well and that is helping, but its tough going. Weather isn't helping either.

just keep plugging away, take each day as it comes, thats what i try and do, get to the end of the day and i think to myself right today was fine, i dealt with things and nothing happened. i know its hard to do though. but you will get through. I know the weather doesn't help when its dark and wet it lowers your mood, it does mine anyway. feel free to post if you want a chat. its just good to know that there is support on here and that people understand.