My Citalopram Journey

[Olneythelonely]

Day 41 for me and I'm having another slight blip. Been feeling pretty good the last week or two but felt quite anxious the past couple of days. My fiancée left me again last night (in a dream), in fact, my dream fiancée is a bit of a bitch. Haha. Woke up and was in a bit of a mood with her which is ridiculous, but the dream was incredibly vivid.

Still very happy I started on Cit, they've given me plenty more good days than bad ones and I just need to find another couple of tools to help me best this completely.

Hope everyone is coping well.

[heavenly]

Glad that the Cit is generally working well for you. Hope you make it up with your dream fiancee tonight! I am down to one dream a night at the mo, which means I only wake up once covered in sweat....it is an improvement!

The anxiety has eased a little as the day has progressed, it's this job that doesn't help. If I feel strong, I can cope with the boredom, but if I am feeling anxious or low, the job does not help me at all. I can't wait to start volunteering, at least I will have positive things to do look forward to and once I get this teaching assistant diploma, I can start applying for jobs. I am SOOOOO bored!!

[heavenly]

Well, other half came home last night and said he might have to go to Boston with work....for a month! I totally freaked, since getting anxiety and depression, he has been my rock if I am having a blip so it brought my anxiety back last night and this morning at work. He is trying to get it down to 2 weeks as he doesn't want to be away for that amount of time, 2 weeks isn't so bad and I know I can arrange to see friends etc but it's at night and first thing in the morning when I will feel it the most, so I am having to be strong, I will find out later how long he is going for and he could be going in the next week or so. It's going to be a real test for me as if I am alone for too long, that negative chatter tries to come back so I need to arrange things with people and stay positive.

[Hazel B]

Thinking of you.

Make sure you start lining up your friends and family to help and stay with you. It will be a test but I am sure you will cope.

Take Care. x

[heavenly]

Well, he will be going for a maximum of 2 weeks and will be leaving in a couple of weeks. I had anxiety again when I woke this morning. I really need to get a handle on this otherwise I will be in a right state before he leaves, and its also not fair on him. I can arrange things with friends but I can't have people staying overnight for 2 weeks, so its going to be tough and a real test. I am just worried I will get ill again and be on my own. Trouble is, because I am worrying about getting ill, I am making myself anxious, catch 22!

[heavenly]

I am a bit calmer now, he isn't going for 2 weeks so I need to just calm down, we are going to Arundel for a meal tonight. I know that I will be ok but it's just a bit daunting, being on my own for 2 weeks.

[Hazel B]

Thinking of you, hope you had a lovely meal.

[heavenly]

Well, its been a rough few days anxiety wise, taken me by surprise actually as I was doing so well. Other half stayed out Saturday night, visiting friends. It was something pre-arranged and I didn't want to make him stay in, so I had an anxious evening. He has also gone to Manchester today for 2 days, so it's just bad timing really, the Boston trip is on my mind and he has these other things arranged as well. I am not feeling too bad at work at the mo and am seeing the doc after work, check out the blood test results. Have counselling tomorrow as well. Have a friend popping round this evening for a cuppa and my niece and nephew are popping round tomorrow night so I have made contingency plans. I just need to sort all this out as I don't want my other half to think he can't ever leave me on my own overnight, I will work hard on this.

[Hazel B]

You can do it, you've come so far.

[Olneythelonely]

I've had a bad few days to be honest, my anxiety has come back from nowhere and weird dreams are becoming more frequent. I decided to up my dose to 30mg today, as suggested by my doctor, so I'll wait and see if that improves things. Should I expect some side-effects again? Does it take around 4 weeks again before the extra dose kicks in?