In Pain

[lentils]

hi again moomintroll are you able to talk to your mum about how youu feel or do you find it a bit arkward doing that . lentils...

[Maj]

Thank you and I'm sorry we are all feeling this horrible pain. I was married almost 30 years, but together for 33. It would be impossible to even begin to accept this loss - for any of us. My family and friends are wonderful, but I think you'll agree that nothing can stop the pain and you're up one minute and down the next. We will all need to keep strong though and look after ourselves for once xx

[moomintroll]

Have to ask...why the name Lentils?!

[moomintroll]

I do chat to my mum - we are very open about everything so no awkwardness. I just find that no amount of chatting takes the pain away at the moment - and I keep going over and over it all trying to make sense of what has happened. All of the 'what if's' and 'why that's'. The person who I want to comfort me is him...and yet it's about him!!

We were on holiday in Spain when it ended - I got on a plane and flew back alone that day. He tried to make me stay but I couldn't the pain was too unbearable to still be around him so he paid for me to get a flight back, and then I had a two hour drive at midnight to get home from the airport. Was the worst day/night of my life and I still don't know how I did it - it is all just a blur.

[lentils]

moom i dont want to appear nosey or anything and feel free to tell me to sod off but how recent is recent are we talking aweek or month or days my name lentils goes back to primary school i aquired it as a nickname just my luck could,nt get a cool one doohhh lentils

[lentils]

maj do you have good friends who stick with you through thick and thin if you do then thats fantastic i fell s**t on twice by my ex and by my so called friends. lentils...

[moomintroll]

It was a week last Thursday. Completely out of the blue - he hadn't planned to end it neither had I - it just sort of happened and he feels we aren't progressing. His dad has incurable cancer and things are all very sad at the moment.

Lentils is a cool nickname! I think that's really funny!

[moomintroll]

Lentils did ALL of your friends know? (Likewise if you want to tell me to mind my own business please do!!). That must be very tough.

In my situation, because I have built my life here including my ex, I don't really have a network of friends that aren't his friends too. I have some of my old friends but they don't live near and are married with kids so don't really see them often. My work friends/colleagues live at least an hour away due to the nature and geography of my work.

I can't say I'm interested in doing the whole going out looking for new people thing anymore - I just wanted to be settled with my ex. So I feel like I don't want to start all over again - the thought of going through it all when it could just end like that again seems too much at the moment.

[Maj]

maj do you have good friends who stick with you through thick and thin if you do then thats fantastic i fell s**t on twice by my ex and by my so called friends. lentils...

How sad Lentils. I feel for you. I am that bit older and know exactly who are my real friends and my fairweather friends are. Fairweather friends don't mean a whole lot to me, but my real friends have been there when I've needed them. They can't have been your friends or they wouldn't have treated you like that. Harsh but true. You are better off without them even although it seems difficult at the moment. You've enough to contend with without worrying about them. Look after yourself and put yourself first

[lentils]

moom i think the fact that he has,nt compleatly cut off all contact with you tells me that he,s not compleatly sure himself that he,s done the right thing his situation with his father has probally contributed to his discesion i am not trying to give you false hope or anything and the phrase not progressing what does that mean it sounds like you and him was on a timetable never understand that one , which is probally why im single now lentils...