More feelings of depersonalization?

[phil06]

Quite hard to describe really..but I guess a fog would be an appropriate word. I feel quite distanced and my panic attacks lately have set me into a trance like feeling like I'm not alive..when I worry about DP feelings I also feel tranced/spaced out. I notice my brain doesn't think normal stuff I operate as usual..at work, online do the same things but feel I'm going mad and that's all I think..I'm not thinking like whats on tv later just anxiety, I have extreme worry going on over tiny things right now. I went out today but felt this way but it eased that I was able to go about my daily routine. I dwell alot on this feeling though.

As I have been in the last few months I've been very aware of my brain like "freaking out about being alive" and "what I'll do in the next second"...I feel it's been quite tough lately a few weeks ago DP kicked back in..I posted about feeling I'm going mad and my latest habit is I turn the TV down, shut off any convo or music as if I hear it all I can think is "maybe I'll crack up, go mad"..so by turning music down this relives the anxiety and I can continue as normal..

Should I keep going on as normal hoping it will pass? Is this yet more complex depersonalization?

[zoe121]

hiya i think you should try and foucs on something you like doing! reading ,walking gym swimming something along them lines anyway and say if it does not ease off in a few days go and see the doctor. it does sound to me like you are thinking about this to much panic is a strange thing and so is your brain but rememberyour in control not the other way around mate

[phil06]

hiya i think you should try and foucs on something you like doing! reading ,walking gym swimming something along them lines anyway and say if it does not ease off in a few days go and see the doctor. it does sound to me like you are thinking about this to much panic is a strange thing and so is your brain but rememberyour in control not the other way around mate

I have had the symptoms of depersonalization for a few years but more mild until May where it got worse..over the end of the summer I accepted it a little more..so it eased but I relapsed a little and it worries me a great deal now. So these symptoms are not really new but prolonged.

[debs71]

Phil, I really sympathise with you as IMO there is nothing worse than depersonalisation feelings and sensations. For me they are the most frightening symptom of anxiety. All the things you mention I have had too. Like a feeling of being alive as not feeling 'normal'
and like the world around you is totally alien, or your body and brain is totally disconnected from you. God it is awful. You also analyse every motion and move and are totally sensitive to the things you are doing or going to do, like severe anticipation. I also can completely relate to the music thing/ noise thing. When I was suffering severe anxiety and panic a few weeks ago I couldn't bear any noise around me, particularly in public, like the chatter/conversation of people walking around me in town, kids crying, music, etc and when I was at home, the television being too loud or noisy adverts. It was like having my brain completely overloaded and unable to cope and my thoughts would speed up and panic would rise. Another horrible symptom.

All these feelings are because we are just super, super anxious and normal apparently whilst in that state. It is so hard to advise as I know how hard those feelings are and how difficult it is to carry on doing stuff, but I have to say that, for me personally, keeping on going as normally and riding the feelings was the best thing to do. I think because when we sit and try to not do anything until we feel better, our minds go even more haywire and dwell on the bad symptoms we are feeling and make them worse, whereas just the actions of acting normally can help retrain our mind that everything is ok and this is a feeling that will pass the more we keep acting as normal. (if that makes sense)

I do hope these horrible symptoms pass for you soon.

Debs.x

[itoldyouiwasill]

Quite hard to describe really..but I guess a fog would be an appropriate word. I feel quite distanced and my panic attacks lately have set me into a trance like feeling like I'm not alive..when I worry about DP feelings I also feel tranced/spaced out. I notice my brain doesn't think normal stuff I operate as usual..at work, online do the same things but feel I'm going mad and that's all I think..I'm not thinking like whats on tv later just anxiety, I have extreme worry going on over tiny things right now. I went out today but felt this way but it eased that I was able to go about my daily routine. I dwell alot on this feeling though.

As I have been in the last few months I've been very aware of my brain like "freaking out about being alive" and "what I'll do in the next second"...I feel it's been quite tough lately a few weeks ago DP kicked back in..I posted about feeling I'm going mad and my latest habit is I turn the TV down, shut off any convo or music as if I hear it all I can think is "maybe I'll crack up, go mad"..so by turning music down this relives the anxiety and I can continue as normal..

Should I keep going on as normal hoping it will pass? Is this yet more complex depersonalization?

In a word, YES....this is exactly what you must do.

You are currently in the stage of bewilderment that the author Claire Weekes explains so well in her groundbreaking (at the time) book Hope and Help For Your Nerves.

The key here really is not to analyse any feelings of depersonalisation and derealisation, this is not to say you should try and block them out but rather see them, accept them and welcome them as this will allow you to 'float through' this stage. I had horrific derealisation when my anxiety first struck and this lasted for 6 months...it was only when I learnt to allow it to be there that it realised it was no longer fit for purpose and sodded off.

Oh yes, if you haven't read the Caire Weekes book I cannot recommend it highly enough...she knew her onions that old girl

[debs71]

Oh yes, if you haven't read the Caire Weekes book I cannot recommend it highly enough...she knew her onions that old girl

I do so agree.

I have just started reading it and it makes so much sense to me and I can relate to everything she writes.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

[phil06]

Phil, I really sympathise with you as IMO there is nothing worse than depersonalisation feelings and sensations. For me they are the most frightening symptom of anxiety. All the things you mention I have had too. Like a feeling of being alive as not feeling 'normal'
and like the world around you is totally alien, or your body and brain is totally disconnected from you. God it is awful. You also analyse every motion and move and are totally sensitive to the things you are doing or going to do, like severe anticipation. I also can completely relate to the music thing/ noise thing. When I was suffering severe anxiety and panic a few weeks ago I couldn't bear any noise around me, particularly in public, like the chatter/conversation of people walking around me in town, kids crying, music, etc and when I was at home, the television being too loud or noisy adverts. It was like having my brain completely overloaded and unable to cope and my thoughts would speed up and panic would rise. Another horrible symptom.

All these feelings are because we are just super, super anxious and normal apparently whilst in that state. It is so hard to advise as I know how hard those feelings are and how difficult it is to carry on doing stuff, but I have to say that, for me personally, keeping on going as normally and riding the feelings was the best thing to do. I think because when we sit and try to not do anything until we feel better, our minds go even more haywire and dwell on the bad symptoms we are feeling and make them worse, whereas just the actions of acting normally can help retrain our mind that everything is ok and this is a feeling that will pass the more we keep acting as normal. (if that makes sense)

I do hope these horrible symptoms pass for you soon.

Debs.x

Thanks that does help. Perhaps that nose sensitive thing is an anxiety symptom that's cropped up during DP then? I assumed it's all the anxiety as I have been reading alot over the months and read and based my own conclusions on:

*Depersonalization can be scary, uncomfortable but that's as bad as it gets.
*Forgetting the symptom helps, maybe distraction, thought swapping.
*It's only as bad as you worry about it..so extreme worry makes it a 8/10 and less worry a 3/10 like a lurking anxiety and 8 is more extreme.
*The length of the symptom is dependent on the worry 1 month to six and so on.
*Googling boards looking at others symptoms won't help it go away in the long term but add more water to the pot of worry in the present by analyzing it more.
*Analyzing it, thoughts on life workings, going mad fears also make it worse.
*Thinking about something else makes it ease, but it takes a while before you can say you're DP free.
*Thinking about the earth, or the brain is the worst thing you can do.

It's annoying this head pain, veins, pressure, headaches I get too from worrying alot..anybody had these?

What made it ease alot before was one day I rose out of bed and said you know what I've known these surroundings for years. I had a good look around and thought why am I worried..and it was a relief almost and I got up...got on with it and gave it little thought to the degree it rarely troubled me like any anxiety I've had..reason being I had moved onto worrying about another symptom..OCD went to the DP, DP to bowels and now back to DP.

Anyway this is now..I'm battling it I feel a bit helpless posting as only me can help me, only me controls my anxiety levels..but what's awful about the symptom is you suffer worrying about it because normal tasks have little enjoyment due to all the lack of emotion, disconnection..like you go on holiday to enjoy your surroundings...not think about you but DP is like that. I read it's actually an over sensitized experience of life..fight/flight mode. I read too much is going on..stress ect..but for me I feel too much worrying causes it..maybe too much of any worrying would?

Maybe I should try the book yes. I am researching acceptance as I once read looking at ways to cope is better than looking up a symptom. Anticipation is alot of anxiety..I'll probably be anxious tomorrow..but maybe if I can find those coping ways and not let it beat me I can return to a more relaxed state..even a little anxiety but I hate feeling desperate..dying, going mad fears...

I also thought I know my limit with anxiety when I've sat in too long, yes I push myself, struggle like crap worrying, go out manage it, go home worry again but maybe I should drop my tolerance level to say I need to do this more..as I am wasting time worrying. Sadly I realise I can never know I'm 100% safe ect..but what I have read with Health anxiety is if it's really bad you would have awful symptoms go to a hospital if it's not anxiety but with anxiety it beats you up..maybe it's finding that confidence in myself so say well if it got bad I'd seek help but in the meantime I have severe anxiety..and the fact I'm barely coping means I require a better understanding so I don't have these fears?

Does that sum it up?

[itoldyouiwasill]

Hey Phil, those bullet points you have listed are spot on mate.

I have to be honest, I had a wry smile reading your post as it really is so typical in that you are obvioulsy a smart guy who has looked deeply into this and who ahs attempoted to arm themselves with all the smarts to beat it. Here is the thing, I made the mistake of chucking cold hard logic at it and was totally dumbfounded when I found out it didn't work....I had been able to solve all my problems in my life up to this point with l;ogic, reason and rationality but it now refused to work.

I believe that the next step for you is to take a leap of faith. It sounds to me like you have read the books and you have done the research and you KNOW deep down what is going on...you have totally sussed this out on the rational and logical level but you also have to relinquish the control and take that HUGE leap of faith which requires you to trust in yourself and accept that you are physically well and that this will pass in time.

I Know it isn't easy and it sounds very glib but believe me I had to do the exact same thing...I was always told and was led to believe that thoughts changed actions and my research and grasping for answers and solutions was based on this premise...it was only when I realised and accepted that it is actually actions that change thoughts and acted accordingly that things improved drastically for me.

I hope this sort of make sense to you on some level anyway.

[debs71]

I agree. Those points are absolutely what is best and not best for depersonalisation in my experience at least, Phil.

Acceptance and affirmation for me is a huge part of dealing with this monstrous thing as well. Telling yourself constantly, like a mantra, that 'this is anxiety, my mind has created this, I control my thoughts and I refuse to let anxiety control me'. Also, having a plan is always good I find. Methods of coping, ie, now that I know this is anxiety, how am I going to tackle and conquer it. I really do feel that when I say to myself 'I can't do this, I'm scared of the way I am feeling, I hate this', all those negatives just make me feel worse and creates that spiral into panic and then depersonalisation (where the nerves are so sensitized that I get all those symptoms back) so nipping it in the bud with positive, grounding thoughts is the key I think.

It sounds corny, but it really does help - positive thinking, as once you stop feeling terrified of all those horrible sensations and fears that anxiety and DP brings, it is like a catalyst for relieving them.

It is very hard to reach that point Phil, I know but please believe me when I say it really can be done.

[phil06]

Thinking about it makes it worse yes. I had a rough night again last night when I am in a worried state of DP my sleep is never deep I find myself waking up at all hours. Anybody else experienced this? Usually the symptoms are worse like the wierd feelings maybe as I'm tired but I can say at 8/10 worry or more sleep is always rough.

My head has also been in pain at times..I find worrying constantly makes alot of head pressure at the side maybe tension?

I think it is one of the most awful symptoms as I walk around functioning but in my head I feel somewhere else...usually a peak attack that's bad lasts around one hour before it eases off. I also read about it being in low levels of anxiety..not sure about that but I don't have alot of stress at the moment but the anxiety DP is quite bad so maybe it is? I woke up with a bad dream this morning and was convinced I needed help or I was crazy...luckily I got a few more winks sleep maybe an hour or so and got up for work feeling a little better.

What's annoying is the intensity of this feeling..first reaction to when my head goes funny either physical sensations or going mad is I'm going crazy or something. It's really hard as these attacks are quite bad at the moment but I do eventually calm. I'm not sure why they are at such a level right now? It's hard to know if accepting or challenge positive thinking is the way or relaxation.