Im struggling again :=(

[honeybee3939]

Hi

I havent been around for a while because i had made such good recovery with my agorophobia but the last couple of weeks i have gone downhill and i am really struggling.

A couple of weeks ago my mum was found collapsed at home and is in hospital, the first week i was ok but im finding it so hard to visit her now because when i get there the panic comes and i have to leave after 5 minutes! Mum has had a stroke and it is breaking my heart to see the effects the stroke as left her in ( shes 74 and was still working as a district nurse the day she was found collapsed at home). Since she went in hospital it just seems to have been one thing after another with her care, she had a setback this week she was in so much pain when i went to visit her, they did a scan and found clots on her lungs so are treating her with drugs for that too.

I realy want to be there for my mum, she helped me so much when i was housebound and i love her so much, its my time to be there for her now but im really struggling with the panic feelings when i get to the hospital.

Please tell me its all in my head im finding it so hard.

Andrea
xxxx

[ljd]

Hi,
i am so sorry to hear about your mum, shock affects us in different ways and canbring back anxiety and anic in us, try and focus on the things that helped you before and how managed then and use those startegies now. tc

[Nigel]

Hi Andrea,

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum

It must’ve been a terrible shock, and it’s the sort of thing that would put anybody under a huge amount of stress. So when that person is susceptible to panic and anxiety, it’s only natural for them to experience it more than the next person.

I know this doesn’t make it any easier, but try to just accept it if you can. Like the way some people are more susceptible to physical illnesses than others. It’s a nuisance that gets in the way of what we’re trying to do.

I hate hospitals too. Maybe if it’s getting hard, could you go outside for a breath of fresh air and to compose yourself again? Perhaps you could go armed with your panic survival kit – paper bag, bottle of water, mobile to phone a friend... I dunno...? Then you could go back in and continue your visit.

Hope your mum gets better soon

BTW, it’s great to hear that you’ve been doing so well

Nigel

[honeybee3939]

Thanks so much all for your support and advice.

I do have a phobia of hospitals but coped the first week, they moved mum to a different ward and to get to the ward you have to go down lots of steps and then along two long corridors and i just feel so trapped, i like to know there is a escape route if i need to get out but there isnt one (you have to walk all the way back on the corridors etc. )
Anyway on a good note I called today for 15 minutes and im going again this evening . I am really finding it hard but i wont give in, i just need a kick up the backside at times to make me come to my sences that the anxiety cant hurt me. (easier said than done at times though isnt it)
Nigel a bottle of water and mobile phone will be in my bag tonight for the visit, thanks for the advice.

Mum can see i am struggling and has told me not to visit her i know she understands how i feel but im not going to let her down.

Thankyou all so much

Andrea
xxxx