First off i'd like to introduce myself then explain abit about how i'm feeling.
My names Dean (aka Spudz) I'm 24yr old dad of 2 (Boy & Girl, Yay!), Living with my partner in our nice new home (moved in a week ago) and i'm having a few issues.
3yrs ago i was made redundant and since then my anxiety and fears have increased to the point where i can no longer continue to do the things that are needed of me.
I've always been quite a shy and nervous person ever since yr4-5 of school (can't really remember before that) and things just seem to have got worse and worse resulting in how i am now.
As of now i am unable to make a simple phone call to someone i do not know, i can't go out for dinner with my partner, do the shopping, go to the school (reading afternoons, parents join in job) (picking up and dropping off is fine because i don't have to speak to anyone) or go to any kind of appointment for myself or my family alone. If my partner is with me i can do it all, i may not particularly like it but i can go (usually) without a fuss. I'm scared of poeple i do not know, i barely talk to anyone i'm not close with and i generally still hide things when i do.
I managed to build up the courage to go to the doctors, my partner phoned and made an appointment with my specific doctor (knowing i'd probably have to go back), turned up, on time, sign in machine broken (up pops 1st fear) when speaking to the receptionist i was informed that i had no appointment and was offered another. It took me 4 days to build myself up to going in there only to have someone screw up my appointment putting me in a worse situation and now i'm scared to go back.
I don't know what to do, i don't know whats wrong with me and i have no idea where to start on fixing things. Its affecting my relationship more and more and my children, one of which has (just this week) been diagnosed with autism (meaning lots of appointments) are going to be affected more as they get older, Its unfair for my (working) partner to take time off for all of the things i should be doing especially since she's hoping to be promoted to a co-ordinator post in the next few weeks.
I'm looking to be pointed in the right direction for help or for tips on things that might make getting to the doctors without feeling like i'm going to have a panic attack or having my heart burst when i get near.
I apologise if this would have been better off posted somewhere else.
Any questions feel free to ask, any comments appreciated.
Spudz
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