Scared to Start Meds yet again!

[Lainie1]

Hi to all,
I did register with this site some time ago but didn't keep it up as I had to go into hospital for an op for cancer.....that certainly didn't help with the anxiety levels as you can imagine! Really I thought I was doing well after that and wasn't taking medication for anxiety/depression but going to counselling instead but although that was good the anxiety is back....with a vengence due I think mostely to problems in the family and Doc has prescribed Citalipram 10mg which I was on once before for a short time but I'm back to square one and a bit 'scared' to start it as I did have quite a few side effects last time. I am also on 5mg Diazepam which I usually take at night and sometimes during the day.
At the moment I just feel useless and need to talk to people who understand, my husband certainly dosn't and just says "oh not again" he maintains that I try to do too much for everyone else and don't think about myself.
Had a really bad day yesterday and today, mainly stressed out and feel ill and I know I must pluck up the courage to start the tablets but keep putting it off.
Would welcome your support please
Lainie x

[paula lynne]

Hi Lainie, I hope you are fully recovered from your operation, youve had such a stressful time. x
I guess that because youve had side effects before, you at least know what to expect. It wont be plesant, but you will get through it. Youve already faced cancer, the most awful disease in my mind, and are recovering. You are a lot stronger than you realise....you will do it Lainie x

[Lainie1]

Thanks so much for the encouragement. It does seem strange that when I was told I had cancer and had the op I wasn't stressed or anxious at the time but it's been afterwards that I think things have really hit me (if you know what I mean). Anyway I started the tablets today and have felt a bit shakey and now feel extremely tired even though I did have a nap earlier today not sure if it was the tablet or not.
Still not sure whether to take the diazepam too but will wait and see how I get on tomorrow.
Thanks again x

[paula lynne]

Le us know how you are getting on Lainie, tabs always take a while to settle down x

[Lainie1]

Hi again,
On day 5 now and do feel alittle better in some respects, maybe it's too early to be saying that but I do. The major thing is that I feel like I could sleep, sleep, sleep. I have slept after lunch most days (3 hours the one day) and still be ready to go to bed about 7pm! Not my usual sleep pattern at all.
The other thing I have noticed is that I look better (is that my imagination do you think?) I don't look so anxious and tired.
One thing that did really worry me last night though was that I had what I thought was a migraine attack (I do suffer with migraines) but this was not what I've usually experienced. I had the 'aura' which was just a flash of light in my lower vision then my eyesight went all blurry, only for a few seconds really and I went extremely hot all over, could be that I was really anxious with the visual thing I suppose. To be honest I had felt like I was going to get a migraine all day, usually starts with neck pain which I'd had all day. Took pain relief and 2.5 diazepam before I went to bed. I feel ok this morning but now I'm worrying it might happen again if the visual thing is due to the Citalipram.
I just want this medication to work, I've tried so many that don't suit me but got to the point where I desperately needed something and don't want to have to stop it due to side effects.

Lainie x