friday news

[andrew england 2]

well the good news on my knee is that all the bones are intact and that the cartilage and tendons are all intact - the bad news is I have calcium deposits floating in the knee socket causing my knee to make a cracking sound and it will take an operation to remove them - so i have been told in the long term i can make a full recovery - in the short term i didnt get too much info as to what i can do on it - light work/dont put too much strain on it/usual things - it doesnt feel too bad to me so i will have to take it as it comes and just be careful - another thing to worry about - no half marathons for me this yr i guess :-(

gp has told me i may be on the edge of diazapam dependence which is a terrifying thought to go along with my anxiety state so am gonna try and dig deep and really sort out my bad stimulants like cigs coffee and beer and take it one day at a time and see if i can do without diazapam altogether - time will tell on this one

gp also recomended buspar which is an anti anxiety ssri in combination with the CBT I am beginning - i do feel very depressed and alone and as tho my life is empty, my life is actually pretty empty and now i face the prospect of not knowing if i will be able to work as a joiner without damaging my knee - all i can do is strap it up and be careful and see how it goes - maybe god will smile on me and it will be ok - who knows.

as for an anti anxiety med - well i feel depressed in myself but that could well be down to such an empty life - is it clinical depression with anxiety or is the depression just a symptom of an empty life - i dont know

what a start to the day

back to the gp on monday at 8.30am for a prescription to start to take on tuesday and take if from there

i really want to take my life in hand now and thats what i want to do but then again will i feel so depressed and so anxious that any achievements i make will feel meaningless to me

this is so important too - everything i am doing now is all to set me up to win my fiance back and i am talking to her every other day now

i just want to get my spirit back like i used to have then follow thru with life changes to curtail my anxiety and build my fitness so i am a better happier more content boyfriend for her - is this too much to ask ?

[chop]

You sound like me!

Cept my knee is having a acl (ligament) and also in the ankle and also removing broken cartlidge from under knee.

Anyway, how much valium are you on a day in what doses please?

Cheers
Chop

Learning to under react

[Alexandra]

Hi Andrew

Glad all went well yesterday re your knee. I sure when the time comes for the op everything will be fine. Plus you have all the supprt from the site that you can get.

Good luck too with coming of the tablets., Take it a day at a time mate you can do this.

The CBT will be a great help too you Andrew, as you can see from all the comments about it around the forum.

Keep positive you arte stronger than you think & you are moving along well judging from your posts on here try not to put yourself down so much.

Good luck for docs appointment on Monday & the new perscription.

You are doing really well Andrew you are getting there.

Take Care



Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[darkangel]

Hi Andrew

Good news on the knee. Just take it easy.

Diazapam, like all benzos are a crutch that we need at that time, but you will find once you start seeing small changes due to all your hard work and determination you will need them less and less. I was on Diazapam for 3 yrs but I successfully came off them and you will too.

With regards to doing all this to "win" back your fiance - DO IT TO WIN YOUSELF BACK ! If you are talking to her every day then she will know in her heart that you are doing everything you can to make changes and I am sure she will be there for you no matter what.

Take care and good luck with everything - you are moving in the right direction

Darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving

[Jason37]

Andrew, I agree incredibly strongly with the wise Darkangel when she says you need to get better for yourself. That's so important to have that goal. If you are doing it for someone else, and that relationship doesn't work out the way you want, then the foundations of all your achievement and improvement are undermined. And that would be so dangerous, and so wasteful after all the strides you have made so far.

Believe me when I say that this is one small area where I do know what I'm talking about - there aren't many! but this is one.

Do it for you.
J

[Robertc160882]

Hi Andrew,

Well done for taking the issues in hand and dealing with them you should be proud of yourself and I’m sure people on here are proud of you. It is long journey you are embarking on but it will be the best journey you have ever made because at the end of it you will be stronger.

Just watch with the Buspar that you don’t drink anything with Grapefruit in it as I can cause bad side effects. You should maybe look it up as other things cause side effects with it just to be on the safe side. The only thing that would concern me is you say you feel depressed I don’t know if that med is used to treat depression maybe speak to your doc about it.

Good Luck


Robert

[Meg]

Andrew

You won't get an emotional lift from buspar and it is recommended for short term use only

How much valium are you taking ?

You are doing great with all your changes but it will take a while to feel the emotional benefits

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress