Over powering anxiety

[phil06]

I really need to discuss this with my counsellor tomorrow. I really feel over powered with my anxiety. I have a very catastrophic outlook and have a real belief that something bad will happen:

Headache - Brain Tumor.
Sore eye at the edge - I'll go blind in 2 weeks.
Fate/Destiny and Superstition - I have started to believe nightmares will come true.
Negative image/thoughts/adrenaline - Going psychotic.
Heart too fast - Heart attack.
Watching a film: Paranormal Activity - I'll become possessed. Trueman Show - My life is a soap opera.
General symptoms - It REALLY REALLY can't be just anxiety.
Depression - End of the world, bleak future.
Some bizarre new worries this week like I become frozen at work on my break and get a negative thought like "I won't be able to eat" and the thought stems from going crazy and not being able to like support myself, look after myself..I can still eat but feels so real.
Unreal/Detachment - Going crazy.
Music and noises driving me crazy - Going crazy.
Any taste near my mouth from my hands and I fear I'll catch an illness, or if I go near anybody who coughs..

*I know alot of this could be OCD.

The power of these feelings has become really bad lately. Not even always a burst of adrenaline just a real surge of fear that I believe. A few weeks ago I said I refuse to accept it's anxiety..it's really at the unmanageable state and I feel I struggle to cope..see a day out without feeling this rotten from one of these symptoms or thoughts.

Had another negative thought tonight:

"I'm too far gone, I'm terminal, I'm serious..there's no way out..I can't live a normal life"

and before I had "People are just telling me it's anxiety to shut me up, the symptoms I get are worse than other peoples, I need 10 doctors to test me but know I still won't feel better"

I honestly don't believe it when people tell me it's anxiety incase I'm undiagnosed and nobody knows..I'll be pretty buggered in a few weeks then won't I? I hate to feel this way but I just really want to get it off my chest because I really feel I'm dying, crazy..so over powering..it would drive me mad.

Nobody can cure me right now as I don't think it's anxiety..sorry.

[beesl]

What do you want it to be?

[Zee]

Phil, I recognise many of those symptoms from when my anx was at an high in the Summer. I found myself a great , experienced counsellor and she soon had my anxiety level down by at least 50% and maneagable.
Ive had some down days since then but have been able to struggle through and pick myself back up.. The thing is, it has to come from within eventually.
I may haver missed some of your posts but how long has your anxiety been going on and was there a trigger for it ?

[sarah_85]

Phil, I really feel for you and I have experienced many of those symptoms. one of the most common symtoms of anxiety is being CONVINCED it's not "just anxiety", and thinking that whoever has examined you has overlooked something major. However, something I have learnt in the past few months is that anxiety can do whatever it wants to you, it can create loads of physical, very real and very painful symptoms. It's a total bugger and I sympathise greatly. Know that you are not alone. The fact that you're seeing a therapist is brilliant, i attribute the huge steps towards recovery that i have taken in the past few months to the work I have done with my therapist and also the fact that I have been doing lots of exercise as well. Also, I would highly recommend a book called "Complete Self Help for Your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes. I found it brilliant at understanding why I was feeling the way I do, and also how to tackle it.
The best piece of advice I could give you, is try not fearing the anxiety itself. Try the "so what?" tactic. Whatever symptom you have, stop, think about it and say "so what?" this really helped me.
Sending you so much love, stay strong, I promise you, you will beat this.
Sarah xxx