My mom...

[bananas13]

Hi everyone. So it's been awhile since I've been here (a little over a year probably) and I'm happy to report that my anxiety has become VERY manageable.

Well, my mom's cancer relapsed this past August after 5 years in remission. Her tumor is "technically" benign, but it's in her neck and inching close to her spine and esophagus. She has been getting routine MRIs every year, and this time it had slightly grown. She was somewhat in denial that and put off doing anything about it. Well she had another follow-up MRI in November which revealed that the tumor had doubled in size since August and her doctor put her on emergency chemotherapy because it was growing so fast.

Meanwhile, I just moved an hour away from my parents in August for college and I'm freaking out over all of this. I know there's nothing I can do about it, but I just wish I could be there with my mom while she's going through all of this.

We're supposed to go to Mexico for Christmas -- the trip has been planned since June and my mom is SO excited about it. Well just as my mom was starting to get used to the chemo and we were looking forward to Mexico, we found out (last week) that my mom's PICC line in her arm (where the chemo is administered) had gotten infected with staph, so she was hospitalized and given IV antibiotics for a week. She was released a few days later and given oral antibiotics.

Now I found out today that she has a blood clot in her arm from the staph... well I just broke down. It's just one thing after another and I'm not there to be with her. I'm so anxious and I can't concentrate on my college finals this week. I called my mom and asked if Mexico was such a good idea (we're supposed to leave Saturday) and she kept saying "We're going! I'm so excited! Everything is fine!" ... Meanwhile, my dad and siblings are all telling me that it isn't such a good idea and that it would be best to reschedule.

I could care less if we went to Mexico or not, I just want my mom to get better. She wants to go so bad, but it's just not a good idea... it's going to break her heart... I'm so upset, I can barely hold it together. I don't know how I'm going to make to through finals this week because I'm just so worried about my mom... does anyone have any advice? Everything is just falling apart.

- Kaylee

[Anxious_gal]

might be a good idea to ask the doctor for advice, how far away is mexico from where you live?
my cousin has cancer, but she still managed an hours flight to Disney land, she was in a wheelchair as she was too weak to walk.
I know what you mean about one thing after another, the meds my cousin was on caused her brain to swell! one day shes doing good then she'll sick again or some other medical problem will arise.
not knowing what will happen next can cause so much anxiety.
it's so hard to watch any one you love being ill, it can make you feel kinda helpless too sometimes.
It must be hard to be away because you want to be by your mothers side, , your only one hour away so you can always go home if you need to.
it can help to write things down, like a diary, it really can help you organize your thoughts and gives you an outlet for your emotions.
I know that keeping in contact with family helps .
spending time with your mum, doing things together, like reading, talking, doing her make up, looking through old pictures .
My cousin would get really bored being stuck inside so I just found random fun things to do with her.
i'm sorry your having such a stressful time