this thread is excellent. I can relate to so much of this its unreal. my fears started in august just as yours but looking back over my life its clear to me i am a huge worrier and i think leaving work and having more time on my hands has led to my worries spinning out of control. I used t get a pain in my body and say 'oh well' now if i get a pain its an indicator of a life threatening illness and a sure way of stealing me from my 7 year old little girl. Im a single mum and now feel the pressure to 'stay alive' greatly where as before my death never crossed my mind. more recently my little girl who usually does not stop eating has pretty much stopped and said that eating makes her feel sick. the old me would have said itss nerves for here christmas play and excitement over christmas itself, the new me says she has something terrible and im going to lose her. its awful, i want to be me again. i used to laugh all the time and be fun to be around, now i feel as though people are actively avoiding me. i want my life back and by god i mean to take it back.