So I have Health Anxiety..... what now? am I going to die!?!?

[Renee]

This was like reading about myself. I suffered with this about 5 years ago because of a minor surgery I was having. I was for sure i wouldn't wake up from surgery. Anxiety kicked in in the way of chest pains, i was sure i was going to have a heart attack. After the surgery I was fine again, with the help of Zoloft for a few months. I had been in "remission" from my health anxiety until this July when my son was having some strange vision problems, i googled, and of course brain tumor came up. He ended up with glasses because of an astigmatism in each eye. This cleared up his vision problem. My anxiety however did not clear up. Now I have a swollen lymph node on my neck, diagnosed by the doctor. I have an actual symptom so i googled, and of course, cancer. My doctor did tell me that my lymph node was soft and very movable and cancerous ones tend to be hard and fixed. Also he said my allergies could be causing it to flare. I go back in a month to check it and he will biopsy it if it's not gone. So for someone like me who suffers from Health Anxiety I am living in a nightmare. I only keep it together for my two kids sake, age 7 and 3. I have tried hard to stop googling, and did better today. I am a 35 year old wife and mother, I am otherwise a normal person but feel like I am going crazy. And please,please no one tell me of someone they knew who had a lump, and had lymphnoma, please! That could send me in a downward spiral!

[PinkRoxy]

I didnt know I had health anxiety, even though I dont fully fit the criteria.
But I didnt know until one day when my shifts at work got changed for two weeks to office hours 9am to 5:30pm I was feeling very anxious and why? because I couldnt make an appt with my gp if I had to. What a stupid thing to be worrying about I thought. In that time well probably month I had a flu like symptoms coming on and I would worry that I would feel worse the next day andhad to work on that and if I needed the doctor or not or even go to the emergency room. Anyway the next day I felt alright it didnt come to anything the following week I had the symptoms again and then again it didnt come to anything I was feeling confused.

I got the flu jab becaus it had a protection of swine flu it was so then I didnt have to carry so much hand sanitiser in my hand bag when I went out to public places. That was a big hit it eased my mind so much.

At work we had a sick leave policy change you had to dinf your own cover unless you are in hospital that threw me big time. I was having full panic attacks I was riddled with anxiety and I couldnt calm down from it I wanted to leave so I could be safe.

I came to my mum crying because I had a small lump on my ear lobe she said it was nothing to worry about I wasnt convinced and went to my gp and she said it was just a cyst and nothing serious I felt better.

I worry about everything to the point where I become obsessed not obsessed like a celebrity crush obsessed in a negative way which I cant stop thinking about it.

I think I have health anxiety even though I trust my gp like she is my mum and I find her very reassuring and lovely, I always take her word for things and I feel better after a visit to her. But I still worry about things I get and havent had checked.

[ginastockman]

Just joined this —*ironically came across this forum while Googling my latest symptom. My boyfriend and I will sometimes joke that I am a "bit of a hypocondriac" but privately I sometimes think it is more serious than I allow others to see. (or am i just worrying about THIS now too?)

I live in the US and have no health insurance, which really compounds a lot of my fears —*I can;t go in and talk to a doctor for reassurance, so when something worries me, I often get worried that is an early sign of something serious and that by not going to the doctor, it will become serious to the point that it cannot be treated. (SIGH)

I have always been a "worrier" and in the past have struggled with depression and self-harm. Only over the last 4 or 5 years has my anxiety about health become a bigger issue. I've diagnosed myself with had skin cancer (turned out to be a benign mole), throat cancer (actually post nasal drip), vulva cancer (a normal skin variance), and there are at least 2 "symptoms" I am obsessing over currently —*which is how I happened upon this forum.

Not even sure why I am posting here, but maybe just knowing I am not the only person who takes things overboard will make me feel a little better.

[ewood79]

This truly is a brilliant thread!

[Lottie19]

The bit about leaving your children without a mother is the bit that hits home for me. I was never this anxious and fearful before I had children and it has got even worse since I became a single parent. I have already phoned NHS Direct and googled for about 2 hours today because I'm so convinced my itchy rash which I have left for 2 months, not 2 weeks, is skin cancer so too late for me today. But tomorrow is another day...am really really going to try not to google - that will be the hardest thing. But how will I manage for a week (Doctor's appointment)?! Have I got enough books to last me til then?! Thanks - it was great and reassuring to read - you should start a blog - diary of a hypochondriac!!
Lottie

[hadenough]

Absolutely brilliant, has made me feel better already.

[takeachillpill]

I'm with you all x

---------- Post added at 14:57 ---------- Previous post was at 14:41 ----------

There is so much comfort in knowing we are not alone. Anxiety of any kind robs us of rational thinking and is so hard to control. I definately had a trigger point to my 'Health Anxiety'. After my daughter was born in 2007, I started having panic attacks after having a migraine which I was sure was a brain tumour! Since then, I have anxiety over every and any niggle, twinge, pain etc. and it is such a horrible thing! On a daily basis our body naturally has many of these things going on simply because there actually is ALOT going on in there! I think everyone on here seems to say the same things so I was just going to offer some more areas of how it affects me in the hope that maybe someone reading this may actually thing they are OK (kind of ) and actually may find they suffer from Health Anxiety and are not going mad!
Things like:
I am in awe of anyone who can chat about a pain or a symptom etc and then literally change the conversation without a flip out! I have to stop myself from getting worried on their behalf!!
I am in awe of anyone who can watch Casualty or ER etc. Just watch and not have palpitations!
I am in awe of any health professionals. How do they daily deal with sick people and not suffer Health Anxiety?
I can't look in the mirror much for fear of finding things.
I hate and love Dr Google all at the same time!
I am really good at masking my fears with casual chats about it rather than heart to hearts about it. This actually is really bad...as for fear of being thought of as a 'freak' you totally alienate yourself and therefore your anxiety really does consume you alone!
The doctors surgery brings me out in a cold sweat.
The list could probably go on. Having found this forum and recently being diagnosed with this (HA) by my GP I actually feel much better. When you read about yourself in the 3rd person (ie the very first fabulous post in this thread) the relief you get is immense. I am disfuntioning not malfunctioning! I can do something about it!!
We all can.
Please keep posting and sharing
xxx

[mumtotwogirls]

I thought I had just plain old anxiety or depression or something, but many of these posts describe the way I feel - I never knew there was such a thing as health anxiety. I worry myself sick about myself (purely that I might leave my girls without a Mum) and then about both of my girls, I turn every small thing into something major and cancer is always at the back of my mind, in fact I think thats my problem. I am sitting here in tears at the minute, I think it's a relief to know that it's not just me. x

[Lisamarie]

What an inspirational post Good luck on your journey of beating this beast. I myself will take some of the things you say on board but i also have CBT which is slightly helping . Cancer is my worst fear and i managed to read up about it the other day on an actual cancer research website which made my anxiety level increase ten fold so i understand your not to google i will try my best. Thanks again for such an in depth informative post

x

[Pinkcasi]

Thanks for that it's a really good post, i do like reading other peoples experiaences it makes me feel not so alone. Reading through your 'plan of action' i realise that i do already do most of them i mean i could probably improve my diet and excercise more but i deliberately dont watch the news and try and stay away from newspapers because i cant handle all the bad stuff, peaople just think im iggnorant about worldy stuff but i actually cry at the news then fret about it, not even just health stuff just bad stuff in general so i stay away from it. I try to tell myself that i have good things an that i deserve to be happy and well, most of the time i dont buy it but i try, i think it just helps knowing that Health anxiet is actually a thing, i've only just realised i have it too and it makes me feel a bit better just knowing that it's a thing and im not on my own.

Thanks you for taking the time to share your story